practical, the better. I used to attend an annual Christmas Day white
elephant party in Brooklyn, and the fights that broke out over the
more hilarious items — a set of “Heroes of the Torah” drinking glass-
es from Fishs Eddy stands out in memory — could be epic. My sister,
who has hosted white elephant Chanukah parties in San Francisco
for years, recalls a hideous clown table lamp that resurfaced year
after year, perennially regifted, until it finally went missing in 2014.

Irony was presumably not the motive for a memorable regift gone
awry at the birthday party of Rabbi Anna Boswell-Levy’s daughter.

The rabbi at Kol Emet in Yardley, Boswell-Levy recalls unwrapping
a dress clearly intended for a baby at her daughter’s third birthday.

The giver was a child whose mother also had a newborn at home,
and without so much as a card attached, “it was very obviously a
regift,” the rabbi recalled. Clearly, this was not the frazzled mother’s
finest hour. But Boswell-Levy said nothing, had her daughter write
a thank-you note, and donated the gift.

From a Jewish perspective, the rabbi is inclined to look charitably
on regifting as a practice that reduces waste in a consumerist society
— “using everything you receive to its best purpose,” a view that
finds support in the Talmud, which stipulates obligation on the part
of the receiver. “But ideally, a gift should be inappropriate to some-
body, and a gift from the heart,” Boswell-Levy added.

And in most cases, honesty is the best policy, said Rabbi Freed-
man of Congregation Rodeph Shalom. “However, we are also taught
that dignity and not embarrassing someone are also of utmost im-
portance, and re-gifting could hurt feelings” if made known to the
recipient, the rabbi observed. He noted religious precedent for telling
a white lie in order to preserve shalom bayit, peace in the home:
“Actually, in this week’s very parsha, God tells a white lie to preserve
Abraham and Sarah’s relationship.”
JEWISHEXPONENT.COM Whether Abraham ever regifted to Sarah is unclear — but Freed-
man confesses to having contemplated the practice to preserve peace
in his own home. The gift in question is a toy puzzle he and his wife
received for their infant daughter; it theoretically emits animal noises
when the pieces are correctly placed, but in practice disturbs their
shalom bayit with random moo’s and baa’s at all hours. “Like in the
middle of the night, at bedtime, nap times,” complained the rabbi.

“My wife and I have been talking recently about who we don’t like
that we will regift it to.”
Freedman swears he is just kidding. But if he caves and regifts
the much-loathed toy, he can take comfort in the fact that Jewish
ethics are probably on his side. l
Hilary Danailova is a longtime contributor to the publications of the Jewish
Exponent. PARTY TRAYS FOR HANUKKAH AND
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NOVEMBER 19, 2015
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