The Time is Now
Outside, our beautiful campus offers
the best of suburban living amidst
stunning architecture and manicured
landscapes. Inside, safety, comfort
and all the necessary services await,
so you can live worry-free today
and in the future. Masonic Village
includes exceptional amenities,
distinct dining options, friendly
neighbors and welcoming staff ready
to accommodate your lifestyle.

Larry Glanz
CALL TODAY FOR MORE INFORMATION
484-534-2087 801 Ridge Pike, Lafayette Hill, PA | MasonicVillageLafayetteHill.org | Open for Everyone
What’s going on in
Jewish Philadelphia?
Submit an event or browse our online calendar
to find out what’s happening at local synagogues,
community organizations and venues!
Submit: listings@jewishexponent.com
Online: jewishexponent.com/events/
Jewish Exponent
PHILADELPHIA 16
DECEMBER 15, 2022
classic or TV favorites like “The
Beverly Spillbillies” or Gilligan’s
“Tale of a Bathroom Slip,” you might
well laugh out loud.

But it’s also crude and raunchy,
detailing what can happen when
someone leaves the facility in a
disgusting way. While trying to
be funny, Glanz can paint a pretty
unpleasant picture.

Not that he’s separating himself
from the matter. He’s got a chap-
ter confessing to his personal bath-
room-related disasters — one on
a date, another at a family gather-
ing. He’s got one listing “Fartlett’s
Unfamiliar Quotes” that might cause
Shakespeare, Mark Twain, Vince
Lombardi and others he takes liberty
with to cringe.

There’s even a section on “pet-
iquette,” with song parodies about
curbing your dog like Sinatra takeoff
“It Had to be Poop” and ‘This Tragic
Moment,” based on the Jay and the
THE GOOD LIFE
Photo by Jon Marks
Americans song.

As for historians wondering about
the origin of all this, Glanz said it
dates to two Chinese philosophers.

“The character Confuse-us is based
on a fifth century B.C. philosopher
who moralized over proper behavior
in the bathroom,” revealed Glanz,
who said his plan down the road is to
tell Confuse-us’ backstory in greater
detail. “Scholars have said he and
Confucius were best buds until one
terrible day Confuse-us accused his
host of not stocking enough spray.

Legend has it Confucius threw
Confuse-us out of his house.”
That kind of vivid imagination
comes in handy when you’re on the
road as much as Glanz has been.

But since the pandemic hit, forcing
him to stay close to home, he’s had
more time to put together all the
ideas that would come to him amid
his travels, where he’d often pull
over to jot them down.

JEWISHEXPONENT.COM