Favorite Things” from “The Sound
of Music” or “Don’t Get Paper on
my Shoes,” sung like “Blue Suede
Shoes.” Each parody has at least one
Yiddish word, while the rest of the
lyrics go into graphic detail about
bathroom issues. And in case you
don’t know the meanings, there’s a
Yiddish translation guide at the end
of the chapter.

So why does a man who once
made two appearances on “Oprah,”
following the 1994 publication of his
first book, “How to Start a Romantic
Encounter” and later wrote “Guy
Gets Girl, Girl Gets Guy,” get fixated
on bathrooms?
It sort of came with the territory.

Each parody has at
least one Yiddish
word, while the rest
of the lyrics go into
graphic detail about
bathroom issues.

“Back in the day, I drank a ton
of coffee and water, so I’m pish-
ing every time I get to a store,”
said Glanz, who sold vitamins for a
health food company for years and
still has his own business. “While I’m
using everyone’s bathrooms, I start
noticing signs everywhere.

“‘Please jiggle the handle… Please
spray the air ... Please flush ... Don’t
leave a mess. It was mainly in health
food stores.

“Eventually, I started taking pic-
tures of those signs to document it.

‘Do not throw towels in the toilet.’
‘Don’t sleep.’ Eventually, we get
one that says, ‘If you sprinkle when
you tinkle please be neat and wipe
the seat’ at Haars Health Food in
Vineland, New Jersey. You could
not believe how many people were
obsessed with this issue.”
And there’s a good chance you
won’t believe some of what’s in
this book. It’s certainly funny in
places. When you start singing the
words to “Will You Please Wash
Your Hands,” a take off on a Beatles
JEWISHEXPONENT.COM THE GOOD LIFE
DECEMBER 15, 2022
15