Restroom Visits
Lead to a Book
Jon Marks | Special To The JE
T oilet humor.

That’s what Larry Glanz is focused on these
days. Not funny stuff with the kind of four-letter
words that can’t be used in print or, for the most part,
said on TV or radio. But laugh-producing observa-
tions about what takes place — or doesn’t take place
— when you go to the bathroom.

No, he’s not here to tell you the best pot to — as his
Russian-born grandmother who spoke Yiddish in the
house would say —“pish” in. Or where you can feel
most comfortable taking a load off .

Rather, this longtime traveling salesman, who fre-
quented hundreds, if not thousands, of restrooms
throughout his 40-year career, is more concerned
about what you do once you’ve taken care of busi-
ness. And he’s written a book about it: “The Ultimate
Book of Bathroom Etiquette,” spelling out all the do’s
and don’ts of something we can all relate to.

“My book is about a universal subject that will
enlighten people about what they need to know
about bathroom etiquette,” said Glanz, who grew
up near Oxford Circle in the Northeast, was a bar
mitzvah at the since-closed Temple Sholom and
graduated from Northeast High School and Temple
University before moving to Cherry Hill, New Jersey,
nearly 20 years ago. “I cover every issue. If you don’t
always fl ush the toilet ... leave the light on ... spray
before you leave ... or not lock the door when you go
in. It’s very disarming.”
Glanz presents those and other issues in a unique
way, ranging from disastrous personal experiences
to nursery rhymes to song parodies to an imagina-
tive historical perspective. His “Commandments of
Bathroom Etiquette’ go well beyond 10. And there’s
a whole chapter devoted to what he calls “yingles.”
“Yingles are Jewish bathroom etiquette jingles,”
explained Glanz, who wrote three prior books, includ-
ing the original “Ultimate Book of Bathroom Etiquette”
in 1999. “Some people are uncomfortable with them
because they don’t know them. But they’re all rhyming
and, hopefully, smile-producing. And they defi nitely
keep you in touch with your Jewish background.”
For example, there’s ”When You ‘Pish’ Upon a
Star,” “Too Many Knishes,” sung to the tune of “My
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