Engagements
Continued from Page 8
Most couples spend $500 to $700 for a shoot lasting between
one and two hours, Romano said. A counterpoint to nuptial for-
mality, engagement pictures capture a couple’s dynamic through
everyday activities — “drinking coff ee, taking a walk, at home
with their pets,” Romano said.

To save money, some brides will schedule their hair and
makeup trial on the same day as the shoot, Romano noted.

“Th at way they can get the professional hair and makeup
without having to spend twice,” she explained. Romano has
also seen more brides renting gowns from websites like Rent
the Runway.

But even couples on a budget don’t skimp on photos. “Th ey’ll
use it for save the dates, on the wedding website,” Sole pointed
out. “Girls will pay top dollar for photo and video, because aft er
the wedding, that’s all they have left .”
Th e informality of an engagement shoot is also an ideal way
for couples to “bond” with their photographer and get com-
fortable posing, said Christiane Lehman of Truly You Events in
Philadelphia. “Th at way you don’t have a stranger in the room
on your wedding day while you’re getting dressed,” she said.

As proposals have gotten more elaborate, Lehman said she
has begun receiving emails from grooms seeking her services.

“Th ere are full Instagram feeds and blogs dedicated to this topic
— ‘How He Asked’ — and it’s the fi rst thing your girlfriends ask:
‘How did he do it?’” she said. “Th ere’s all this pressure to have a
great story.”
But most grooms take the DIY approach, Lehman said, es-
pecially aft er hearing a planner’s fee. She charges $100 per hour,
MICHAEL PASADAK
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WERTHEIMER PHOTO PROVIDED
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and calculates an average of five to 10 hours to arrange propos-
al decor and setup, secure a photographer, and corral family and
friends for a “spontaneous” engagement fete.

One who planned it alone was Michael Pasadak, a 30-year-old
Center City attorney, who had a crowd of 30 well-wishers waiting
at City Tap House last July when he asked Samantha Wertheimer
to marry him. Both sets of parents, along with friends from as far
away as Los Angeles, joined the happy couple for a private recep-
tion, Wertheimer recalled.

“It’s really overwhelming,
planning a wedding. My friends
who haven’t hired a planner wish
they had. They say, ‘I wish I’d just
gotten fewer flowers.’”
Engagement parties “are more about having champagne and
celebrating with friends and family,” said Lehman, who said that
in her experience, Jewish families are particularly likely to involve
both sets of parents in pre-wedding events.

Families of all persuasions, however, are less likely to turn to
a professional for the engagement party, which has grown small-
er and less formal over time. With shorter engagements, Sole ex-
plained that couples are loath to spend — or make their parents
spend — a large sum for a second event within a year.

An engagement party “is the one area where people feel they
can save a bit, and they can manage it,” observed Sole, who has
owned The Wedding Planner since 2001. Her couples typically in-
vite no more than 100 people, even for a large wedding; the event
might take place at a parent’s home or country club, but it’s just as
likely to be at a favorite BYOB where the family has enjoyed many
a dinner.

Next up: save-the-date cards. Like a lot of modern brides,
Wertheimer, a 29-year-old graduate student, decided to cut costs
by ordering save-the-dates from Minted.com, a website that was
cheaper than her wedding stationer.

“The reality is, it goes on somebody’s fridge, and then it goes
in the trash,” said Wertheimer, who describes herself as practical.

“We decided not to spend as much on save-the-dates, and spend a
little more on the actual invites.”
It may be cheaper cardstock, but paper still rules over email.

“I thought the transition would happen quicker, but my brides
and grooms are sticking with tradition,” Sole said. “People like the
idea that something is coming into each guest’s home that they can
hold onto for the whole year.”
Sylk, who is planning a July wedding at the Barnes Founda-
tion, said that of all the costs that arise during an engagement,
hiring a planner — in her case, Lehman of Truly You — may be
the most worthwhile.

“It’s really overwhelming, planning a wedding,” Sylk said
with a laugh. “My friends who haven’t hired a planner wish they
had. They say, ‘I wish I’d just gotten fewer flowers.’” ❤
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