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Check out our upcoming 2018 trunk shows. 610.668.2801 gabriellebala.com JEWISHEXPONENT.COM 200 Monument Rd Bala Cynwyd, PA 19004 SIMCHAS Tues- Sat10am-5pm Sun12pm-4pm MARCH 22, 2018 7 T H E C H A N G I N G F A C E O F MICHAEL HUBER AND TYLER SYLK CARINA ROMANO HILARY DANAILOVA | JE FEATURE W H E N M I C H A E L H U B E R , a 31-year-old attorney, popped the question to Tyler Sylk at the Jersey Shore last July, the moment was intimate. But they were hardly alone. Waiting to cel- ebrate the moment were a professional photographer and, back at Sylk’s family’s beach house in Longport, both sets of parents. As Sylk, 28, recalls, it was a surprise engagement party — but not really. “I had dropped these hints along the way, like, ‘Maybe you should make sure to take nice pictures of the moment,’” recalled the bride-to-be, a clinical trial coordinator at Penn Medicine’s Abramson Cancer Center. “And I was hoping if he were to pro- pose, he’d do it there down the shore.” Welcome to the new engagements. They’re shorter in duration — averaging under a year, ac- cording to Gina Sole of Philadelphia-based The Wedding Plan- ner — but increasingly emphasize elaborate proposals that feature surprise engagement parties, staged by the groom-to-be and captured by a professional photographer. 8 MARCH 22, 2018 The calculus of where to splurge and where to scrimp has clearly shifted for today’s Jewish couples. Sylk said a lot of her friends reset family diamonds into engagement rings, a poten- tial four-figure savings that many would rather put toward a photo shoot. With grandma’s solitaire, “nobody can really accuse you of cutting costs, because of the sentiment,” Sylk observed. Meanwhile, engagement photo shoots have gone from op- tional to part of the standard full-service wedding package. Even booked a la carte, “they’re definitely more popular in the last eight to 10 years,” said Carina Romano, a co-owner of Love Me Do Photography in Philadelphia. See ENGAGEMENTS, page 10 SIMCHAS JEWISHEXPONENT.COM JEWISHEXPONENT.COM SIMCHAS MARCH 22, 2018 9 Engagements Continued from Page 8 Most couples spend $500 to $700 for a shoot lasting between one and two hours, Romano said. A counterpoint to nuptial for- mality, engagement pictures capture a couple’s dynamic through everyday activities — “drinking coff ee, taking a walk, at home with their pets,” Romano said. To save money, some brides will schedule their hair and makeup trial on the same day as the shoot, Romano noted. “Th at way they can get the professional hair and makeup without having to spend twice,” she explained. Romano has also seen more brides renting gowns from websites like Rent the Runway. But even couples on a budget don’t skimp on photos. “Th ey’ll use it for save the dates, on the wedding website,” Sole pointed out. “Girls will pay top dollar for photo and video, because aft er the wedding, that’s all they have left .” Th e informality of an engagement shoot is also an ideal way for couples to “bond” with their photographer and get com- fortable posing, said Christiane Lehman of Truly You Events in Philadelphia. “Th at way you don’t have a stranger in the room on your wedding day while you’re getting dressed,” she said. As proposals have gotten more elaborate, Lehman said she has begun receiving emails from grooms seeking her services. “Th ere are full Instagram feeds and blogs dedicated to this topic — ‘How He Asked’ — and it’s the fi rst thing your girlfriends ask: ‘How did he do it?’” she said. “Th ere’s all this pressure to have a great story.” But most grooms take the DIY approach, Lehman said, es- pecially aft er hearing a planner’s fee. She charges $100 per hour, MICHAEL PASADAK AND SAMANTHA WERTHEIMER PHOTO PROVIDED Invitation and Card r rd Shoppes • Weddings • Bar & Bat Mitzvah • Birth Announcements • Parties • Personalized Stationery • Calligraphy • Printing System on Premises The Gift Shoppe • All Occasion Gift Baskets • Hostess Gifts • Jewelry • Party Essentials • Boutique Candy • Baby Boutique 352 Righters Mill Road, Gladwyne, PA 19035 Phone 610-649-1100 610-649-4850 www.gladwynepharmacy.com 10 MARCH 22, 2018 SIMCHAS Fax So much to see... more to come... JEWISHEXPONENT.COM and calculates an average of five to 10 hours to arrange propos- al decor and setup, secure a photographer, and corral family and friends for a “spontaneous” engagement fete. One who planned it alone was Michael Pasadak, a 30-year-old Center City attorney, who had a crowd of 30 well-wishers waiting at City Tap House last July when he asked Samantha Wertheimer to marry him. Both sets of parents, along with friends from as far away as Los Angeles, joined the happy couple for a private recep- tion, Wertheimer recalled. “It’s really overwhelming, planning a wedding. My friends who haven’t hired a planner wish they had. They say, ‘I wish I’d just gotten fewer flowers.’” Engagement parties “are more about having champagne and celebrating with friends and family,” said Lehman, who said that in her experience, Jewish families are particularly likely to involve both sets of parents in pre-wedding events. Families of all persuasions, however, are less likely to turn to a professional for the engagement party, which has grown small- er and less formal over time. With shorter engagements, Sole ex- plained that couples are loath to spend — or make their parents spend — a large sum for a second event within a year. An engagement party “is the one area where people feel they can save a bit, and they can manage it,” observed Sole, who has owned The Wedding Planner since 2001. Her couples typically in- vite no more than 100 people, even for a large wedding; the event might take place at a parent’s home or country club, but it’s just as likely to be at a favorite BYOB where the family has enjoyed many a dinner. Next up: save-the-date cards. Like a lot of modern brides, Wertheimer, a 29-year-old graduate student, decided to cut costs by ordering save-the-dates from Minted.com, a website that was cheaper than her wedding stationer. “The reality is, it goes on somebody’s fridge, and then it goes in the trash,” said Wertheimer, who describes herself as practical. “We decided not to spend as much on save-the-dates, and spend a little more on the actual invites.” It may be cheaper cardstock, but paper still rules over email. “I thought the transition would happen quicker, but my brides and grooms are sticking with tradition,” Sole said. “People like the idea that something is coming into each guest’s home that they can hold onto for the whole year.” Sylk, who is planning a July wedding at the Barnes Founda- tion, said that of all the costs that arise during an engagement, hiring a planner — in her case, Lehman of Truly You — may be the most worthwhile. “It’s really overwhelming, planning a wedding,” Sylk said with a laugh. “My friends who haven’t hired a planner wish they had. 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From Matter What The No No Matter What The Occasion FOOT SHOES SHOES H H HOT FOOT HOT HOT Farm FOOT SHOES Justa Shopping Center Justa Farm Shopping 1966 Line 1966 County County Line Rd, Rd, Center 1966 County Line PA Huntingdon Valley, Huntingdon Valley, PA Rd, 19006 19006 Huntingdon Valley, PA 19006 215-969-9626 215-969-9626 In-Store In-Store Boutique Boutique In-Store Boutique 215-969-9626 HOT-FOOT-BOUTIQUE.SHOPTIQUES.COM HOT-FOOT-BOUTIQUE.SHOPTIQUES.COM HOT-FOOT-BOUTIQUE.SHOPTIQUES.COM CALL FOR YOUR FREE MENU AND PARTY PLANNING GUIDE SIMCHAS 215-633-7100 888-309-3800 WWW.FOODARAMA.COM MARCH 22, 2018 11 A Laurie Segal, Chuckie and Larry Copeland at a Bar Mitzvah rehearsal SLOTHASTRONAUT/THINKSTOCK H “I love providing a family with photographs that they can love and cherish forever,” said Debbie Zak Cohen of debbie zak cohen photography, who said she particularly enjoys photo- graphing B’nai Mitzvahs. “It makes me very happy.” A quick Google search of local photogra- phers will turn up countless choices, so Co- hen recommended starting your search by asking friends who they’ve used for event photographers and pursuing the people they recommend. Cohen said that a client should make sure the photographer has the highest-quality equipment to capture the best photos and that the client feels comfortable with the photographer. “It’s a very intimate thing, to be photographed, to put your trust in someone who can cap- ture and provide you with what your heart thinks you’re going to get,” she said. TO EXP T A E CT W YAD SKIMMING OVER the black letters of the Torah during a Bar Mitzvah or a family gathered under the chuppah at a wedding are images you probably want to always treasure. Once-in-a-lifetime events, like B’nai Mitzvahs, weddings or special birthdays, should have photos that reflect their significance. With professional event photog- raphy easily costing hundreds — if not thousands — of dollars, you want to make sure you end up with photos you love. Ac- cording to several local pho- tographers, you should make sure the person you hire is someone you feel comfortable with, available to take your phone calls and is good with people. And, of course, that their style reflects your personal taste in photography. Photos by debbie zak cohen photography FROM AN EVENT SELAH MAYA ZIGHELBOIM | JE STAFF 12 MARCH 22, 2018 SIMCHAS JEWISHEXPONENT.COM People have different tastes in how they want their photos to look, so just because a friend recommends a certain photographer doesn’t mean that you will also like that photographer. Nadel Berke Moskowitz wedding Gal Abahel, owner of Galara Photography, suggests someone looking to hire a photographer should first ask to see samples of the photographer’s work. She noted that people have different tastes in how they want their photos to look, so just because a friend recommends a certain photographer doesn’t mean that you will also like that photographer or his or her style. “As a photographer, I do not like to use over-the-top editing,” Abahel said. “I create my shots. What happens is I use extra lighting if needed. I manage the location, where I work, so I manage my lighting and my set. ... At an event, I don’t use Photoshop.” Abahel then recommends talking about the price. She sug- gests asking for a starting price and then seeing if there is any wiggle room for paying less. A client, she said, should stick within the price range he or she feels comfortable paying. Sasha Aleiner, a freelance photographer who shoots events at the Chevra as well as weddings, said clients should find out about a po- tential photographer’s background working with people, how easily the photographer takes directions and how creative they are. “The photographer should have a good sense of when it’s appro- priate to interact, and when they really shouldn’t be intervening,” he said. “A photographer can come in and greet the participants and ask if they care to have their picture taken. Generally, that’s the best way to interact.” Abahel has photographed weddings and Bar Mitzvahs, in ad- dition to corporate events, portraits and marketing events, for eight years. Before the event, she likes to schedule a meeting with the client where she can get a sense of the client’s vibe and even See PHOTOGRAPHER, page 14 Enjoy spending time with your guests at your next party. 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At that first meeting, Abahel also prefers to write up a contract. At that meeting, she gets to know her clients. She uses the information she gathers in her photography. “Let’s say I have clients that are very touchy,” Abahel said. “They like to touch each other. They’re warm, kissing each other, things like that. I know they will be open to trying dif- ferent photos. I will do their photos very intimate, very sexy. I will let them touch each other and smile to each other, and I know that in most of the photos they will be very close. If I know my clients are silly, like they love to do faces, I will just let them run around and take them to a playground.” Cohen and Aleiner both like to meet with clients before- hand to get a feel for their clients. They said they want to get a clearer understanding of what exactly the client wants and to work out the logistics. “What I get when I ask, that varies from ‘Get a little bit of everything’ to mainly this, this and that, and everything in between,” Aleiner said. “Most of the time, I’m basically left to my own judgment to make that decision. What I like to do is get the most clarification to make sure I know that I’m doing what they want most.” Abahel values availability in photographers. “I would really recommend for the client, if it’s a wedding or Bar Mitzvah or any personal event, to make sure you and the photographer [are] on the same page,” she said. “If you’re not sure about a question, ask again. Call as many times as SIMCHAS JEWISHEXPONENT.COM “The photographer should have a good sense of when it’s appropriate to interact, and when they really shouldn’t be intervening.” you need. Make sure the photographer will be able to take those phone calls and provide you with patience, understanding and any answer needed.” On the day of the event, Abahel makes sure to arrive early. Many clients are nervous at big milestones like weddings, so photographers should be relaxed and try to help out the client, though the client should not expect a photographer to fulfill event planner duties. Cohen said one of the most important qualities in a photogra- pher comes after the event, in the editing process. She tries to pick out photographs that she herself would feel she looks good in. For clients, seeing the photos of their events often allows them to relive the experience through another set of eyes. “I do not like having my photo taken,” Cohen said. “I do not like photographs of myself, so I’m very sensitive to how people will feel when they see their own photograph. For me, I feel as if people are paying me for photos, they’re going to look good. ... 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PHOTOS PROVIDED UDAISM JUST FELT RIGHT to Julia Engel, who grew up Catholic but converted to Judaism more than two decades ago. She studied the religion and attended services. She married a Jewish man and had a Jewish family. But there was one element of the Jewish tradition she had never experienced, so when her 10-year-old daughter received the date for her Bat Mitzvah four years ago, Engel start- ed to think that she wanted to have one, too. “This will bring my journey, maybe, full circle, from where I started 20-some years ago when I was 26 years old, when I want- ed to become Jewish as a choice, a Jew by choice,” Engel said. “I thought, ‘This is it then. I’ve done everything I’m supposed to do. I’ve attended; I’ve studied; I’ve worshipped; I’ve lived. Now, I’m going to actually complete it by doing this.’” For the women and men — though mostly women — who have B’nai Mitzvahs as adults, their reasons for doing so vary. Some, like Engel, converted as adults. Others grew up in fam- ilies that didn’t have a strong connection to their Jewish com- munities or couldn’t afford Hebrew classes. And then, of course, there’s that common story of the woman who has a Bat Mitzvah as an adult because the community she belonged to as a child only performed Bar Mitzvahs for boys. Unlike B’nai Mitzvahs for 12- and 13-year-olds, these adult B’nai Mitzvahs tend to be done as a group, the celebrations tend to be more low-key and the B’nai Mitzvahs themselves bring added perspective to the experience. 16 MARCH 22, 2018 Barbara Marx (standing, second from left) with retired Adath Israel Cantor Bernard Lowe (far left), Rabbi Eric Yanoff (far right) and her B’nai Mitzvah class Congregation Rodeph Shalom has an adult B’nai Mitzvah class whenever there are enough people who have expressed in- terest in participating, said Rabbi Eli Freedman, which generally happens every few years. Their last class, a group of eight wom- en, had their B’not Mitzvah in March 2017. Freedman said adult B’nai Mitzvah classes used to be domi- nated by older women who hadn’t had a Bat Mitzvah when they were younger because their communities didn’t practice them. Now, that’s no longer the case. “We’re seeing less of that,” Freedman said. “There’s just not as many of those women around. ... What we’re seeing more of now is more conversion students.” SIMCHAS JEWISHEXPONENT.COM Converts are now the most common reason for adult B’nai Mitz- vahs at Rodeph Shalom, he said, but most of their adult B’nai Mitzvahs are still women because most of the conversions they do are of women. Despite the changing motivations to have adult B’nai Mitzvahs, women still dominate this custom at other synagogues as well. All 10 people in Barbara Marx’s adult B’nai Mitzvah class at Adath Israel in 2014, for example, were women. Marx never had a Bat Mitzvah as a child because her parents could only afford either piano lessons or Hebrew school, and she was doing well with piano. But as a child, she had conversations with her grandfa- ther about having a Bat Mitzvah one day, and as the years went by, she became more observant. “When Adath Israel offered the adult Bat Mitzvah classes, it seemed like the opportunity was right,” she said. “It was too good to pass up actually.” Studying for her Bat Mitzvah took about eight months. Like most adult B’nai Mitzvahs, the class had their ceremony together. At the end, they were blessed beneath a chuppah held by their adult children. Af- terward, they had a kiddush luncheon, where Marx held up a thimble of vodka to her grandfather, who died when she was 11 years old. “He was the smartest person in the world, or at least in my world,” Marx said. “His good opinion of me meant an awful lot.” More recently in January, Melissa Ufberg had what she called a “surprise Bat Mitzvah.” After eight months of learning to read He- brew and trope with Susan Novack, she went to Congregation Adath Jeshurun to read Torah for the first time and found out that her hus- band had invited her friends and family for an event he had made into her Bat Mitzvah. As a child, Ufberg didn’t have a Bat Mitzvah because her family didn’t belong to a synagogue, and she had little Jewish education. Her husband, though, had a strong Jewish upbringing, so they decided they wanted Judaism to be a major part of their home. Their children attend Perelman Jewish Day School, and seeing them learn Hebrew inspired Ufberg to learn to read Torah. A trip she took to Israel with the Jewish Women’s Renaissance Project motivated her as well. “That really also lit the spark for me to seek out learning and to seek out something that I always felt was missing, and to take the time — because everybody’s lives are so busy and everything — but to take the time to do something that I had wanted to do for a long time,” Ufberg said. At the ceremony, Ufberg’s friends gifted her with a tallit from Israel that they chipped in to buy. “I had tears in my eyes when they gave it to me,” she said. “It was such a meaningful moment in receiving a tallit of my own. I had nee- dlepointed one for my sons that they’ll receive on their Bar Mitzvahs, but I had never imagined that I would have one of my own, that I would have the opportunity to be wearing that.” That evening, her husband gave her a pocket watch that once be- longed to his great-great-grandfather. Ufberg said it is a custom in their family to re-gift this same watch to each person in their family who has a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Having one when she did, Ufberg said, gave the ceremony deeper meaning for her than it might have when she was just 13. “Being older, you have the perspective of the specialness of the moment and just kind of thinking, Jews all over the world, not everyone has this,” she said. “Not everyone is able to openly read Torah and worship as they want. Through the ages, our people haven’t, so that really struck me also, that I’m part of this history, this heritage. As a 13-year-old, I might not have appreciated that as much as I would as an adult.” ❤ szighelboim@jewishexponent.com; 215-832-0729 JEWISHEXPONENT.COM SIMCHAS Franky Bradley’s Bar Restaurant Venue Serving dinner, pre-theatre and late night menus everyday, mention this ad for a 15% discount “Franky Bradley's has sweet rewards for those who dare to find it” Craig La Ban, Philadelphia Inquirer 1320 Chancellor St, Philadelphia, On the corner of Juniper St. 215-735-0735 MARCH 22, 2018 17 Theme Henning’s Custom Catering Perfect For All Functions • From Private to Corporate • All Inclusive Meals • All Food Cooked on Premises by our In-house Chefs • Set Up & Service Available • Meeting & Party Room Up to 60 Guests Bridal Mothers Bridesmaids Plus Sizes Bridal Boutique 215-942-6337 249 Second Street Pike Southampton, PA 18966 18 MARCH 22, 2018 Your Caterer For... www.YesToTheDress.com Follow Us: SIMCHAS Baby & Bridal Showers • Weddings • Confi rmations & Graduations Corporate & Retirement Parties • Cocktail & Dinner Parties Picnics & Holidays DOUBLE COUPONS EVERY DAY 290 Main Street • Harleysville, PA • 215-256-9533 OPEN EVERY DAY 7 AM-11 PM JEWISHEXPONENT.COM “Bar and Bat Mitzvahs are generally very theme- oriented,” observed Valori Zaslow, a party planning veteran. HILARY DANAILOVA | JE FEATURE When it comes to milestone parties , there are themes — cars, ballet, candy. And then there are themes. Ryan Orlov’s neon baseball reception at Citizens Bank Park surely falls in the latter category. Following his De- cember 2016 Bar Mitzvah at Main Line Reform Temple, the Bala Cynwyd teen was feted with neon cocktails served in neon glasses, and lemonade that fl owed out of a neon ice sculpture shaped like Ryan’s name. Men in neon green neckties sat at tables lit by glow- in-the-dark neon baseballs, as neon mazel tovs blazed on the Jumbotron. “Bar and Bat Mitzvahs are generally very theme-ori- ented,” observed Valori Zaslow, a party planning veteran whose Bala Cynwyd-based fi rm, ReEvent, handled the Orlov reception. While the neon was novel, Zaslow said sports-oriented receptions are a perennial favorite. Th is year, unsurprisingly, event planners expect a surge in Eagles parties — not only B’nai Mitvahs, but also wed- dings and milestone birthdays. “We’ve defi nitely seen a few Eagles cakes already,” said Stephanie Fitzpatrick of Philadelphia-based EBE Events & Entertainment. See DREAMS, page 20 RDM In-home personalized Jewish education for students of all backgrounds and affiliations Designer Outlet & Design Studio Bar/Bat Mitzvah Preparation n Hebrew Language Private Bar/Bat Mitzvah Services Jewish History & Culture n Destination Bar/Bat Mitzvah Now in Philadelphia, New Jersey & Delaware! Los Angeles n New York Washington DC 310.717.4200 www.hebrewhelpers.com JEWISHEXPONENT.COM www.rdmdesignspa.com Designer clothing without designer prices 413 W. Ridge Pike, Suite 2 • Conshohocken, PA • 610-834-0367 • Mon-Sat 10-5 SIMCHAS MARCH 22, 2018 19 Dreams Continued from Page 19 Riding a wave of Philly pride, Philadelphia’s mummers are also expected to be ubiquitous, said Fitzpatrick. She credits Ea- gles center Jason Kelce’s memorable Super Bowl parade speech, in full mummers regalia, for jump-starting the vogue. “Mummers groups are boning up on the Rocky and Eagles fight songs,” noted Fitzpatrick, who coordinates entertainers as EBE’s talent director. “They’re being asked for that so much right now.” Philadelphia itself — a city that inspires outsized pride and passion — is a more popular theme than ever, especially follow- ing a spate of high-profile events (the Pope’s visit, the Democrat- ic National Convention, the Eagles win). “Anytime anyone gets married in Philly, it’s nice to do something that’s inherent to the city,” Zaslow said. Party favors and out-of-town guest bags have long included Wooden “LOVE” sign with floral arch Photo provided Rose gold, sequins, tall flowers and wooden lanterns highlight a wedding. Photo provided 20 MARCH 22, 2018 local flavors like Tastykakes and Goldenberg’s Peanut Chews. Recently, Zaslow had a copy of the city’s iconic “LOVE” sign made for a wedding at the Radnor Valley Country Club, where it was tacked to a tree for the outdoor ceremony. That wedding, recalled Zaslow, fit into another big trend planners are seeing: organic-tinged nuptials, inspired by farm- ers markets and all things natural and artisanal. “We’re even do- ing green and woodsy for a Bar Mitzvah cocktail hour,” Zaslow said. “It’s carrying through to a lot of events.” The dress code may still be formal, but today’s reception decor is likely to feature burlap, branches, succulents and river rocks, said Stacey Kesselman, the president and owner of Con- shohocken-based Exceptional Events. Especially at weddings, guests in silk and pearls are routinely following hand-carved wooden signs to rough-hewn tables and chairs. Green, it seems, is everywhere — in the floral arrangements, as a color scheme, and even as a concept. One popular twist is for couples to recycle their wedding bouquets and floral ar- rangements by donating them to local hospitals. Fitzpatrick ar- ranges to have the blooms picked up overnight so patients wake up to them. In keeping with the social consciousness, couples are also making charitable donations in lieu of traditional par- SIMCHAS JEWISHEXPONENT.COM ty favors to cut down on waste. “I’m also seeing a lot more potted plants as opposed to cut flowers, even just for the aisle,” Fitz- patrick observed. For the younger set, Bar and Bat Mitz- vah parties tend to celebrate the individu- al. Kesselman sees a lot of receptions in the colors of a favorite summer camp, with ta- bles named for “dance, drama, the dome — whatever’s specific to the camp,” she said. Technology is behind some of the newest themes. In the era of Instagram poses and YouTube contouring videos, fashion is hav- ing a moment — with Gucci logos in the photo booth, “paparazzi” chasing the Bat Mitzvah girl, and red carpets leading into the reception. Video game schemes are more of a hit with boys, planners said. Zaslow has designed tables with app screen centerpieces and table cards shaped like iPhones (with personalized “text messages” indicating where to sit). “Something I’m seeing more and more for Bar and Bat Mitzvahs is a theme that’s a play on the kid’s name or initial — a pun that ties the night together and is unique to their child,” Fitzpatrick said. That’s how Ava Schrier of Blue Bell ended up celebrating her February Bat Mitzvah with “One ExtrAVAgant Night,” incorporat- ing her first name as a theme designed by Fitzpatrick. the What does One extrAVAgant Night look like? At the Bluestone Country Club, it meant a room bathed in Caribbean blue, with what Ava’s mother Kim Schrier called “jaw-drop- ping centerpieces,” glittering jewels and sparkly blue stones everywhere. “Afterward, everyone said it truly was an extravagant night,” she recalled. Names are popular because they make natural logos, and B’nai Mitzvah logos are suddenly de rigeur. It may sound weird to anyone over 35, but teens today cap off their rite of passage with a custom-designed stamp, imprinted on everything from water bottles and cocktail napkins to kippot and tote bags. “You have to think about how your logo will fit on a sweatshirt, how many colors it should be,” recalled Kim Schrier of the hours she and Ava spent combing Pinterest for inspiration. “Every color is a cost, and if you do a girlier Examples of theme logo, what do you put on the boys’ shirts?” decor Against a backdrop of social media “likes,” Photos provided such pressure to be unique can be overwhelm- ing, Zaslow said. And not everyone plays an instrument, is crazy about shopping or cheers for a sports team. For those clients, Zaslow gently steers the conversation toward favorite colors or initials. “Trying to define what you’re going to be for the rest of your life — that’s a lot of pressure for a 13-year-old, and even for a bride,” the planner noted. “It’s fine just to make it simple, under- stated and beautiful.” ❤ ultimate selection of Mother-of- the Bride & Groom Dresses! Appointments Suggested Walk-ins welcome over 10,000 Dresses in stock in sizes 0-28 see our hottest dresses in our online catalog JansCatalog.com Layaway and Financing available JEWISHEXPONENT.COM by law your local PA dress retailer must charge you up to 8% sales tax on your Dress and Alterations! Pay nothing extra for your dress at Jan’s! Save up to $300 on your Dress & Alteratioins at Jan’s! SIMCHAS MARCH 22, 2018 21 ‘Inseparable’ Since the Start What Started as the Intention for a Small Wedding Led to More Th an 150 Guests RACHEL KURLAND | JE STAFF W EDDING PLANNING can be a daunting task, but Jada Littman El- drich relatively knew what she wanted from the start. Namely, Samuel Eldrich. But fi nding each other fi rst was a tangled web of Jewish geography. Jada’s close friend Steph- anie Ice reached out to her cousin hoping to find a nice Jew- ish boy for her to date — as much as she enjoyed her friend as a third wheel, she wanted to go on double dates with her. Ice’s cousin worked at the Chil- dren’s Hospital of Philadelphia, who reached out to her coworker. That coworker was Sam’s cousin. Sam was still finishing medical school at Tulane University. During his last couple of months there, they chatted for hours and hours over the phone, texted and FaceTimed each other. Sam (originally from Connecticut) subsequently moved to Philadelphia to start his residency, and the pair fi nally met face- to-face for the fi rst time in June 2015. It was beshert. Fast-forward to January 2017: When Jada was out to brunch with her girlfriends one morning, she returned back to the home she shared with Sam to discover a surprise. “He left me a note in our foyer area asking me to meet him where the two of us first told each other that we loved each other,” she recalled, which was at Three Bears Park in Society Hill. Sam placed rose petals around the Three Bears statue and handed Jada a box with her name on it. “I opened it up and it was a View-Master,” she said. “Each slide had a different picture of us with a caption leading up to ‘Will you marry me?’ at the end. I turned around and he was on one knee.” 22 MARCH 22, 2018 Jada laid out the ins and outs of the anatomy of her wedding day, of which the ceremony and reception were held at the Nation- al Museum of American Jewish History on Nov. 4, 2017, offi ciated by Rabbi Elyssa Cherney. Th ey chose the NMAJH as their venue because they wanted to stay in the city, which would also allow their guests to learn more about Philly — right on Independence Mall — and also show- cases why the couple love it so much. Al- though it rained that evening, Jada said she was glad to bring more Jewish awareness to the city through the venue. “NMAJH was a blank canvas. You can do anything with the space that they give you,” she said. As they were initially touring the venue, Jada got a notifi ca- tion that Beyoncé announced she was pregnant with twins (Feb. 1, 2017) — that was all the divine inspiration she needed to lock down her wedding space, she laughed. “I thought that was beshert right there.” Th e museum off ers several op- tions for catering (they chose Sage Catered Events out of Berwyn). It’s also BYO, which helped with liquor costs. Although a bit unorth- odox, Jada was especially excited that the event fl oor had 10 bathrooms, for both men and wom- en. For a guest list of 150 people, that is an important factor, considering their elder- ly relatives. “I just didn’t want people cutting out their time of eating, dancing, drinking,” she said. One of the fi rst major deci- SIMCHAS JEWISHEXPONENT.COM sions the couple planned was the color scheme: Th ey settled on green (Jada’s favorite color), blue (Sam’s favorite color), and pur- ple (Jada’s late grandmother’s favorite color). “We didn’t want the typical fall [colors] — maroon, champagne.” Th ey kept it simple, excluding any other theme — “we had our Bar and Bat Mitzvahs; we had our themes there,” she laughed. “We just wanted it to be fun.” Picking a DJ was easy, too, because Jada was set on one com- pany before Sam even proposed. Wired Up Entertainment, based in Wilmington, Del., where Jada grew up, is owned by her close friend; they went to JCC day care and grew up together. Th eir cake was from Bredenbeck’s Bakery in Chestnut Hill: a simple French dot and quilt design. Aft er hors d’oeuvres, guests chose from either fi let mignon, chicken, salmon or butternut squash ravioli. Ryan Young Studio provided photography and videography. Jada surprised herself while dress shopping. She wanted a fi t and fl are, mermaid silhouette style — “to show off the wedding diet body” — but ultimately chose a princess-style ball gown from Sabrina Ann Couture in West Chester to fl atter her 5’2” frame. It paired well with her late maternal grandmother’s original wedding veil, worn on July 3, 1949, as well as her choice of shoe, a pair of Badgley Mischka gardenia pumps (her late maternal grandmother’s favorite fl ower). She changed into a shorter dress at the reception to dance in, a sequin dress from Bernsteins Fashions in Edison, N.J., while Sam wore a dapper tuxedo from Boyds Philadelphia. “I was never the type of girl who dreamt of a big wedding or wedding day,” she admitted, and neither did Sam. But he’s an only child, and three of their grandparents are in their 90s, so they decided to go all out. Her favorite moment of the evening was seeing Sam’s reaction when he saw her in her dress for the fi rst time. And aft er the father-daughter dance, she surprised her grandfather with one, too, to Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My Wings.” Since they returned back to their Washington Square home aft er a honeymoon in the Galapagos Islands, they said married life has been a breeze. “We’ve been inseparable since the day we met,” she said. ❤ rkurland@jewishexponent.com; 215-832-0737 PHOTOS: RYAN YOUNG STUDIOS JEWISHEXPONENT.COM SIMCHAS MARCH 22, 2018 23 SMARTPHONE Event Planning Done Easy — from Your RACHEL KURLAND | JE STAFF P Trello 24Me Pinterest Table Top Planner ARTY PLANNING is exhausting — and when you’re drowning in invitations, reservations and rental fees, it’s hard to imagine an end in sight. Many have opted for the DIY approach in the digital age, which is clearly benefi cial if you’re trying to save time and mon- ey. Th ere are endless instructions, ideas, tips or blogs on the subject of organization, plus doing it yourself allows your cre- ativity to fl ow — while your budget doesn’t. Although the DIY approach promotes planning with ease, we could all still use a little structure. Look no further than these event planning and management apps to juggle all the tools that entail scheduling your celebratory events, from weddings to Bar Mitzvahs and everything in between. Start with Inspiration OK, this may not seem like a planning app, per se, but for any party, wedding, Bar Mitzvah or the like, Pinterest should be your fi rst stop. With the unfathomable accessibility to options in this digital li- brary at your fi ngertips, you can’t go wrong in gathering creative inspiration for ideas, tips, recipes and how-tos for your own soiree. Elaborate hairstyle? Pin it. DIY craft s and snacks for kids? Pin it. Cute puppy picture? Irrelevant, but pin it anyway. To keep things under wraps, you can make some boards — for those who aren’t frequent pinners, boards can be labeled whatever you like, and you pin pictures and links to a “board” of similar interests to keep them organized — private, so no one else can see your party plans. Pinterest: Free. Available on web, iOS and Android. Get Organized in One Place It’s diffi cult to narrow down just one planning accessory when there are so many excellent products out there. Th ese apps pro- vide the foundation for your party, scheduling everything you need to do from start to fi nish. Planning Pod stores all your notes, documents, spreadsheets and related emails in one place for simple and organized acces- sibility. It’s equipped with productivity tools to help you manage budgets, schedules, checklists and calendars. It’s great for wedding planning: You can add multiple people to your Planning Pod event, so parents and future in-laws living else- where states can stay up-to-date on fl oor plans, guest lists and websites. Similar to Planning Pod, as well as aspects of Google Drive or Dropbox, is Evernote, which is another great app to store all of your notes, as well as research you’ve done for venues or trav- el itineraries, and it can easily be shared with others and synced to diff erent devices. 24 MARCH 22, 2018 Asana is a good option to outline your daily or monthly tasks, highlighting how high a priority each are. Super Planner is a must-have planning tool for the more business-oriented events. It calculates for you how much of one item you need based on your crowd size. Th at includes under- standing pricing, arranging tables and sizes based on room ca- pacity, or catering based on the number of attendees. Planning Pod: Free 30-day trial; monthly packages range from $19 to $99, depending on how many events you’d like to manage at one time. Available on web, iOS and Android. Evernote: Free; premium plans available for $34.99/year or $69.99/year. Available on web, iOS and Android. Asana: Basic version is free; premium plan $9.99/month. Available on web, iOS and Android. Super Planner: $9.99. Available on iOS and Android. Turn the Tables One of the most irritating party planning particulars is seating arrangements. Aunt Suzy can’t be seen next to Cousin Cathy; the Steins are in a feud with the Sterns; Rebecca is suddenly gluten-free and can’t be around anything that remotely smells edible. But with Social Tables, you can visualize and track ar- rangements in 3-D models. You create a seating chart in digital layouts and schematics of the venue, with customizable table colors and chair sizes. You can also assign menu preferences. Top Table Planner also helps you visualize seating arrangements on the planner’s end. Social Tables: Free. Available on web, iOS and Android. Top Table Planner: Free trial; $20 to $80 yearlong packages. Available on web, iOS and Android. Collect the Memories Candid photos are oft en the best ones from a celebration. Your friends and family have the ability to comfortably be right up in the action. But tracking down photos later on diff erent social networking sites can be a hassle. If attendees download Capsule, they can upload all of the photos from the evening into a shared, public “capsule” online for easy reviewing and tagging later. Capsule: Basic package is free; professional package has a 30-day free trial, then $12/month per user. Available on iOS and Android. Checklist Aficionado If you’re anxiety-prone to to-do lists — or checking off boxes gives you a fulfi lled high — Trello makes the interface simple and satisfying. You create a board, prioritizing your daily tasks. Tasks can be dragged to diff erent sections when done or held for later. It’s the most visual way to collect all of your party plan- SIMCHAS JEWISHEXPONENT.COM Do You Hear the People Sing? Goldstein’s Men’s & Boy’s Apparel Your Mitzvah suit for that special day DKNY ning responsibilities in one place. You can also dive deeper into your workflow, add- ing notes, contacts, comments and attach- ments to a single Trello card. 24me is also great for organization: During all the chaos that goes into planning an event — whether it lasts a month or a year — everyday things can fall through the cracks. 24me is a daily schedule manager to remind you to pay bills or simply wish your special some- one a happy birthday. Trello: Free. Available on web, iOS and Android. 24me: Free. Available on web, iOS and Android. Family owned and operated for 116 years To save some money, DIYers have opted Since 1902 for being their own DJs at events. Apps Visit us in our new location like Spotify and Pandora make it simple to create your own playlists to plug in at the 2537 S Broad Street party. As an added bonus, you can be the Philadelphia, PA 19148 one who decides how many times to play “YMCA” (hint: zero). 215-468-0564 And when your elderly relatives inev- Now carrying shoes itably approach the DJ kvetching that the Major M, T, Th, F, Sa 10-5:30; W 10-7:30 • ALTERATIONS AVAILABLE music is too loud, you can be the judge of Credit Cards that. Decibel Ultra measures volume and www.goldsteinsclothing.com determines the noise level compared to an average benchmark, so you can clapback with some facts. Spotify: Free; subscription $9.99/month. Available on web, iOS and Android. Pandora: Free; subscription options for $4.99/month or $9.99/ month. Available on web, iOS and Android. Decibel Ultra: Free. Available on iOS. Drippin’ in Finance As taboo as it is, let’s talk finances. A lot goes into big parties, from renting big elements like the venue to small ones like silverware. Fud- get, a budget planner tracker app, is a simple way to manage those complex charges. It adds and subtracts your monthly bills, and you can add in other factors based on the income you have left. And to keep all your receipts in one place, ScannerPro or Cam- Scanner eliminate the paper clutter. Simply take a picture in the app, and it converts the receipt into a PDF that can be emailed and saved. Fudget: Free. Available on iOS and Android. ScannerPro: $3.99. Available on iOS. CamScanner: Basic account is free; premium and business accounts are $4.99 and $6.99, respectively. Available on iOS and Android. What’s My Name Again? You see her crossing the dance floor. She looks familiar; you know she’s a distant cousin who you only see every few years. But what’s her name? Namerick uses repetition and mnemonics to keep track of names of people you meet at parties, so you’ll never forget. Ninety-nine cents well spent. Namerick: 99 cents. Available on iOS. ❤ Legendary. Intriguing. Connected. From catering services to event planning, let the Warwick handle every aspect of your special day. Celebrate where legends have stayed and history’s been made. Contact Lauren Belsh at L a u r e n . B e l s h @Wa r w i c k R i t t e n h o u s e . c o m 215.735.6000 220 South 17th Street P h i l a d e l p h i a , PA 1 9 1 0 3 WA RW I C K R I T T E N H O U S E .C O M rkurland@jewishexponent.com; 215-832-0737 JEWISHEXPONENT.COM SIMCHAS MARCH 22, 2018 25 Y OUR PALMS are sweaty. But in the end, it teaches the students “when you put your mind to Knees weak, arms are heavy. something, you can do it.” No, you’re not Eminem; you’re a probably-a-little-bit-nervous For Senior Rabbi Lance J. Sussman of Reform Congregation Ke- 13-year-old about to give your speech at your Bar or Bat Mitzvah. neseth Israel, there are five elements to a good d’var Torah. Going in front of an audience and giving a speech can be daunt- “The speech demonstrates to the student, their family and the congrega- ing. But with the right guidance, you can deliver a d’var Torah that tion they’ve invited that they understand what they’re reading, that they’re is thought-provoking and personalized. able to explain it and interpret it, that it means something to them,” he said. When it came time for the October 2017 Bar Mitzvah of her son, Josh “I find that people do listen. It’s one of the only parts of a service where the Krain Sasson, Abbey Krain helped him student is reading that’s not in the book, so write his speech, as she had for her two to speak, so people pay attention.” other children. For her, it was important And he coaches the students to be that it not only included nuggets of wis- “loud, slow and clear” so they don’t speed dom he gleaned from his Torah portion through it at “200 miles per hour.” that he could impart on his audience, but The synagogue clergy divvies up du- also included bits of himself. ties when working with students for their His Bar Mitzvah fell during Sukkot, Bar or Bat Mitzvahs. Sussman helps them the holiday that focuses on the harvest write their speeches, of which he has and agriculture — a fitting holiday for helped write more than 1,000. But for Josh, as he is an avid gardener. In his him, it’s fun because “every kid is different speech, he tied in his Torah portion with and every family is different.” not only his mitzvah project — in which He broke down d’var Torah elements: he worked with the Jewish Farm School MARISSA STERN | JE STAFF and Philly Farm Crew — but also an an- 1. Citation. He helps the student explore where their cient Jewish fable in which two brothers section of the parsha is found in the Torah, which secretly deposited bits of their harvests to the oth- book it appears in, what’s special about that week’s er’s bounty to ensure they were well-fed until they discovered it was his brother adding to the pile. parsha, and questions like that. Josh, however, changed the story in his speech 2. Summary. to a brother and sister to allow the story to apply The student summarizes the material they’re to more than just two men. And he has a sister, so reading and the context in which it appears in it made it more personal, his mother added. the parsha. Is it during Exodus? Is it during Abra- “He spent really the bulk of it making it per- ham’s journey in the Land of Canaan? Sussman sonal and talking about the agricultural tie-in of likened this part to a “mini book review” in which Sukkot and his hobby of gardening,” said Krain, the student gives an overall idea of the content. executive director of Temple Sholom in Broomall, “and how important it is in this day and age to 3. Theme. realize there are actually people in our own back- Josh Krain Sasson volunteers at an orchard “I ask the kids, ‘What do you think the Torah is yard that don’t have enough food.” teaching you?’ And this is interpretive; there’s no His two older siblings also incorporated sto- with Teens 4 Good. Photo provided right or wrong,” Sussman explained. “There’s in- ries in their speeches, which Krain said was a cool teresting and very interesting. And this is where they might do a little way to integrate ancient Jewish storytelling into today’s world. For Krain, who does Bar and Bat Mitzvah tutoring, the impor- research into commentaries and Midrash and things like that.” tance of the speech lies in the skills and lessons it teaches. “One is the opportunity for the child to have a chance to both practice 4. Application. and to do public speaking,” she said. “At that age, it helps with maturity Sussman asks the students to think about, “What does it mean to me?” “I then ask them to think of situations in their own young lives or in level and it gives the child — whatever level they’re at — a little confi- dence their peers who don’t have a Bar Mitzvah don’t get the opportunity their family or something they’re deeply aware of and to make an appli- to have because there are very little chances for public speaking like that cation of the Torah’s teaching to their own life and why that’s important.” when you’re a 13-year-old.” Another is the chance to connect more deeply with the text. While 5. A report on the mitzvah project. (This a bit self-explanatory.) each Torah portion is “chock full” of information, the student has a The d’var Torah is one of three speeches the students give at KI, where chance to take the bits they connect to and build on it in his or her speech. they lead the whole service for their Bar or Bat Mitzvah. The first is a wel- “Something else that’s important about the speech is actually the come statement, another is a statement of thanks given during the section learning opportunity,” she said. “Sitting down with mom and dad or your in which prayers of thanks are recited. The third is the d’var Torah. teacher or your rabbi, whoever it may be, and actually looking at the part (And even though they aren’t leading the service, parents aren’t off the and reading it and understanding it.” hook. They give a short speech, too.) It’s also a chance for the student to see what they can understand from For the students, the d’var Torah is an obstacle to overcome — and the ancient viewpoint and if they can bring it into today’s world, she said. they want to do it well. “At the end of the day, they are putting themselves on display before There are many lessons to be learned from the process of writing the speech — namely, that once you write it, it isn’t quite done. They learn the their entire world,” Sussman said, “and even if takes a little work to get to editing process and how to tweak their ideas into the finished product. it, at the end of the day, all the kids want to do a good job on d’var Torah, And of course, the biggest hurdle of all: delivering the speech. and that helps them connect to the tradition, so it’s a win.” ❤ Josh worked with his rabbi at Tiferet Bet Israel to learn delivery tech- niques and bring animation into his speech. At home, he would practice mstern@jewishexponent.com; 215-832-0740 these tools — often pontificating on their Ping-Pong table, Krain said. SPEECHES Present Learning Opportunity for Bar and Bat Mitzvahs 26 MARCH 22, 2018 SIMCHAS JEWISHEXPONENT.COM Rabbi Rayzel Raphael Dana Winiarz Bar/Bat Mitzvah tutoring 267-255-1084 B y I nvit a tion O nly Dana10484@verizon.net Personal service & extraordinary invitations at discounted prices www.Shechinah.com 1211 Ansley Ave. Melrose Park, PA 19027 215-237-2955 cell 215-782-1221 home By Invitation Only RRayzel@Shechinah.com Phyllis R. 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