t was 1980 and I was new at school. I wore purple my first
day, because everyone liked purple, and I tried to be
friendly without looking desperate.

The new-kid anxieties ratcheted up several notches, though, once
Bar Mitzvah season kicked in. Would a new kid get invited to the
parties? If I did, what would I bring as gifts? And what would I wear?
I needn’t have worried. Back in those dark ages, Bar Mitzvah
parties were decidedly less extravagant than they are today (and
less inclusive). With the exception of Sandy P.’s Star Wars-themed
party, most of the post-Mitzvah celebrations were not themed;
some even took place — without the aid of DJs or emcees! — in
synagogue basements or private homes. No one cared about what
I brought or what I was wearing. Whew!
Nowadays, as you see from the splurges featured on page 8 of
this issue, religious rites of passage are heavy on the bling. And
that’s just the beginning of the pressure. After the Bar or Bat
Mitzvah comes the sweet 16, homecoming dances, junior and
senior prom, graduation from high school and college, the
engagement soiree, the wedding, the baby shower, the first-birth-
day fête … and on and on it goes. The circle of life, etched in deli-
ciously sugary icing.

And while each one of these seminal events would
ideally be marked in exquisite style and in dream-like
settings — an all-expenses-for-everyone-
paid destination wedding on a pris-
tine beach in Mustique, let’s say —
spending so liberally is not always
an option.

Even so, there are many ways
to have a wonderful event while
Top: Vstock LLC/Thinkstock.com; above: Wavebreakmedia Ltd/Thinkstock.com
14 MARCH 23, 2017
SIMCHAS JEWISHEXPONENT.COM