cancer. Ben is quite a handful and he knows it. “So cancer turned
me into a saint? Give me a break,” he says. “It didn’t change my dad,
either. He was a warrior before cancer and he’s a warrior still. Cancer
isn’t magic, certainly not the good kind. It’s a disease. Nothing pos-
itive comes from disease. It only does one thing: It sucks.”
That’s the truth, as plain and simple as it is refreshing. All of the
community support was amazing, Ben says, but in some ways, it
was camouflage for the really scary parts of last year. Ben’s parents
wouldn’t tell him the survival rates for colon cancer because, they
say, Michael’s form of it was rare. Ben went online and learned the
sobering facts for himself. “I wish they’d just given it to me straight,”
he says. “If I’m supposed to talk to my parents about everything,
then that includes the stuff that’s really hard — and that includes
the fact that Dad might have died. Like, let’s just be honest and talk
about it.”
They did. And Ben’s right. “It did suck,” Michael admits as his
eyes water with tears. “God, this is really hard to talk about. It sucked.

No doubt.”
And it wasn’t fair. Michael dedicated his life to healing other peo-
ple. He exercises religiously and is a vegan master of clean living.

Michael did everything right but still got a rare, very deadly cancer
at a young age. “No, it’s not fair,” Michael agrees as a few tears ease
down his visage. “I haven’t put thoughts to this because it’s easier to
dwell on the positive.”
But Ben has put thought to this, aided by his Bar Mitzvah tutor,
Rabbi Yitzhak Nates of Derech HaLev, a havurah in Lower Merion
Township and Jenkintown. Nates says that, whether he realizes it
or not, Ben’s questioning God is quintessentially Jewish. “With Ben
more than the average student, we’ve been talking about ways to
live life, what’s important and how we want to spend our days,” Nates
says. “He’s gravitated to larger religious questions, probably because
he’s dealing with large issues.”
Truth is, Ben didn’t need to read the Bible or memorize a Haftorah
to become a Jewish adult. He learned Jewish values like family, com-
munity, tikkun olam and courage by watching his parents, especially
his father.

Back at the Ross’s kitchen table, Michael wishes that Ben could’ve
learned those life lessons without cancer. The worst part of last year,
Ben Ross (left) and his father, Dr. Michael Ross, share a moment
together before Ben’s Bar Mitzvah.

Michael says, was the uncertainty over whether he would live or
die. Watching Ben and his younger brother, Jacob, deal with his can-
cer was more painful than anything Michael experienced physically.

As he thinks about it, Michael’s eyes fill with tears again.

“Oh, Dad,” Ben gently scolds his father as Michael lets the tears
flow. Ben circles the table to where Michael sits and wraps his father
in a big hug. They stay like that for a while, in what seems like a fa-
miliar embrace. Ben comforts his father with pats on the back, having
no problem displaying affection. He’s proud of their bond and un-
derstands that, although Michael’s warrior status is uncontested,
Ben himself is a source of his father’s strength. It seems that Ben has
plenty to share. Clearly, the boy has become a man. l
A team of Michael Ross’ supporters ran the Philadelphia Marathon wearing “semi-colon” shirts in a show of solidarity.

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