In the Name of the Daughter
A P ERFECT
D AY
Continued from page 7
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and Jewish website I consulted, the assignment of
a name to a Jewish child carries enormous spiritual
and metaphysical weight. For Ehrlich, that meant
choosing biblical names of “kind of unconventional
women,” she explained. “Th at was a fun and interest-
ing way to name daughters.”
Mindy Rubinlicht-Torban of Horsham told me
how she struggled to adapt two family names —
Efraim and Velvel — into a Hebrew name for her
daughter Julia, now 2 years old. She settled on Effi
Ziva; Effi is a Yiddish nickname, and Ziva is the femi-
nine form of Zev, which — like Velvel — translate to
“wolf.” So maybe the Yiddish “Zelda” would pass muster,
I thought, though I’d need a second name to honor
family members. Rubinlicht-Torban also eased my
anxiety over another factor that has delayed Zelda’s
ritual: the reality that since her birth, our family has
been in geographical transition. With her father and I
splitting our time between both coasts — and having
lived abroad for several years before that — we sorely
lack the communal or congregational roots that sud-
denly feel so crucial.

As it happens, the Rubinlicht-Torbans were also
unaffi liated. “I said, ‘I don’t want some rabbi I have
no connection with naming my child,’” recounted
Rubinlicht-Torban, who has found community in on-
line forums such as jkidphilly.org. Instead, she asked
a Jewish neighbor with whom they shared Shabbat
dinners to offi ciate at her parents’ home.

Th e friends planned a service that incorporated
Jewish blessings, poems and responsive readings into a
booklet for guests. “We got everyone involved in bless-
ing the baby,” Rubinlicht-Torban recalled. “And we
had this person we loved and respected, an example of
how we wanted to lead our Jewish lives down the road,
naming our daughter. It was just the most beautiful,
personal, intimate experience.”
Julia’s naming took place about eight weeks after
her birth — but in the course of researching this piece,
I heard about plenty of namings for girls old enough
to walk to the bimah and eat the bagels afterward. I
stopped feeling like a bad Jewish mother for not hav-
ing named my almost-toddler yet.

Because as Yanoff reminded me, it’s never really too
late. He recalled a woman he once coached in an adult
B’nai Mitzvah class, a retiree who had been raised
without any Jewish ritual at all. When the day came
for the woman’s Bat Mitzvah, he included a special
naming blessing — the one his septuagenarian pupil
had never received as a baby.

And technically speaking, there is nothing wrong
with that. “It’s the best part about having a girl,”
Mindy Rubinlicht-Torban told me. “You really can do
whatever you like.”
Hilary Danailova is currently winnowing her way
through possible Hebrew names for her daughter.

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8 APRIL 9, 2015
SIMCHAS JEWISHEXPONENT.COM




Good
Veils Them
for What
It’s time to uncover the latest trends
in bridal headwear.

By Hilary Danailova
I n
the traditional Jewish wedding ceremo-
ny, there comes a moment when the
groom gently lifts the bride’s diaphanous
veil, revealing the face of his beloved — a
gesture that recalls the biblical matriarch
Rebecca, who covered her face with a handkerchief
when marrying Isaac. Th e veiling ceremony, known as
bedeken, alludes to both the married woman’s physi-
cal modesty and the emphasis on spiritual, rather than
physical, beauty in the eyes of her groom.

Modesty and spiritual connection will have to fi nd
their metaphors elsewhere for
many of today’s brides, how-
ever. For modern-day Rebec-
cas, that handkerchief is more
likely to be a garland of dahl-
ias, a birdcage-style fascina-
tor, or even a sparkly crystal
headband, as bridal headwear
has evolved
from the de
rigueur veil to a range of expressive accessories.

“Th at princess tiara, with big crystals and a poufy
veil, is not feeling as modern,” observed Ivy Kaplin,
owner of Lovely Bride Philadelphia.

Instead, as a survey of local bridal experts revealed,
contemporary brides are overwhelmingly seeking a rus-
tic look that’s right in step with today’s green ethos. Or-
ganic: it’s not just for arugula anymore.

In fact, “organic” was a word that came up again and
again to describe the favored look for 2015 weddings
— along with “ethereal,” “soft” and, of course, “natural.”
“Today’s brides are looking for a softer style, some-
thing more organic-looking,” said Kaplin, who opened
the Philadelphia outpost of Lovely Bride a year and a
half ago to cater to what she describes as “a little less
traditional, creative, DIY bride.”
“We’re seeing lots of fl oral-looking hair vines that
have some sparkle — something to give the brides a
little glitz but also feels more natural, not so overpower-
ing to wear,” Kaplin added.

At Philadelphia Bridal Company, a midprice sa-
lon, Ashley Erin Corbett is seeing brides who want “an
ethereal, nymph-like eff ect,” she said. It’s a less studied,
girlier look than in previous eras — “think of the An-
thropologie customer.”
Like her colleagues, Corbett sells a
lo lot of headbands and wreaths these days;
m many incorporate metal fl owers or vines,
S Swarovski crystals or sheer organza ribbons,
e even feathers.

What’s driving the trend appears to
b be the growing popularity
o of weddings that take place
o outdoors or in rustic settings.

W Whereas ballrooms were once
the standard for receptions, couples increasingly host
their fêtes at farms and even in barns, a refl ection of the
current vogue for a sustainable, natural lifestyle.

“Th e most popular place we always hear about is the
Horticulture Center” in Fairmount Park, said Kaplin.

“In Philadelphia there are a lot of great arboretums and
outdoor venues that give much more of this natural feel
for a bride who wants something that isn’t as formal, but
is still beautiful.”
At the upscale boutique Elizabeth Johns in Ard-
more, bridal consultant Erika Perry sells ornate crystal
Wedding headpieces from (l-r) Maria Elena; Pronovias; Jennifer Behr; Jenny Packham; and Love ‘n Fresh Flowers
JEWISHEXPONENT.COM JEWISH EXPONENT
headbands with trailing ribbons, soft headbands that
go across the foreheads and “viney, organic” headbands
that give a halo eff ect. “It’s the boho feel — hair down,
parted in the middle with a loose wave,” Perry said. “I
have a lot of brides getting married on farms, with long
tables and Mason jars, and they like a messy, undone
look.” Even in a barn, Perry noted, sparkly crystal ac-
cents in the hair keep the look bridal — not milkmaid.

“Th ere’s a defi nite move away from the stiff , formal
aesthetic,” said Jennie Love, owner of Love ‘n Fresh Flow-
ers in Chestnut Hill. “Everyone’s embracing a more natu-
ral, earthy style.” Love’s business has evolved from selling
fl owers at farmers’ markets to doing fl owers for weddings
to creating fl oral headpieces for eco-chic brides — the ul-
timate in local, seasonal and sustainable fashion.

“Th e fresh hair fl owers started maybe four years ago
in a big way, and it has defi nitely gotten more and more
popular,” said Love. And it’s
n not just the boho brides any-
m more, she added: “At fi rst it
w was for laid-back, outdoor
w weddings, but now it can be
a any type of wedding.”
While some
are happy with silk
or metal fl oral ac-
cents, “most girls
who want fl owers
do want real fl ow-
ers,” Kaplin said.

Fresh blossoms are
also a way to add a
note of color; brides who would never don a purple veil
will usually match their hair fl owers to their bouquets or
bridesmaids’ dresses.

Wearable blooms are possibly the most striking trend
in bridalwear — which might seem surprising, given how
Continued on page 12
APRIL 9, 2015
9