A SUPPLEMENT to the JEWISH EXPONENT ns ia o i r b at elph le ilad e C h i w sh ter P Je rea G in APRIL 9, 2015 2 OCTOBER 30, 2014 JEWISH EXPONENT JEWISHEXPONENT.COM Mazel Tov! The most spectacular venue for your Bar or Bat Mitzvah. We are committed to revealing your dream event. JEWISHEXPONENT.COM JEWISH EXPONENT APRIL 9, 2015 1 Creating Dream Events For Over 100 Years Simchas A supplement to the Jewish Exponent April 9, 2015 3 To the Power of Three By Fredda Sacharow 6 In the Name of the Daughter By Hilary Danailova 9 Good for What Veils Them By Hilary Danailova 14 Connubiality with Individuality By Hilary Danailova 16 On the Event Horizon By Beth D’Addono 18 New Life, Timeless Destination By Deborah Fineblum Schabb 20 A historic clubhouse with old world charm, Philmont Country Club is the perfect venue for your dream wedding, bar/bat mitzvah, rehearsal dinner or shower. Philmont offers a grand lobby and Brazilian hardwood porch, a charming red brick patio overlooking an Olympic-size swimming pool, and an elegant Grand ballroom for dining and dancing for up to 330 guests. 301 T o mli l inson R o ad d Huntingdon Valley, PA 19006 215-5 94 21 947-7 12 1271 71 • w ww ww.p.pp hihilm lmon ontctcc.c.ororgg 2 APRIL 9, 2015 SIMCHAS Classifieds and Advertiser Index Publisher’s Representative/ General Manager Steven Rosenberg Executive Editor Lisa Hostein Editor Greg Salisbury Design Director Joseph Kemp Production Director Josephine Kukuka Prepress Manager Salvatore Patrone Traffic Manager Elizabeth Thompson Production Control Manager Tery Moran-Lever Lud Hughes Production Artists Lionell Robinson Classified Sales Beverly Aldorasi Nick Staller Advertising Representatives Taylor Orlin Helene Rothman Sharon Schmuckler Bruce Wartell Marketing Director Joshua Hersz Accounting Manager Cheryl Lutts Finance Assistant Marie Malvoso Subscriptions Nicole McNally JEWISHEXPONENT.COM Power Three To the A B’nai Mitzvah story that transcends faith, generations and community. By Fredda Sacharow JEWISHEXPONENT.COM PHOTOS/STEVE STERN I f Mary Brodsky had merely adopted her triplet step-grandchildren after her husband and both of the children’s parents died — dayenu. If she had simply kept them grounded in the centuries-old religion of their mother and their grandfather — dayenu. If the Catholic widow had taught herself enough about Judaism to organize a seder every year, complete with homemade gefi lte fi sh, and to read the children a chapter from My Little Dreidel on each of the eight nights of Chanukah — dayenu. If she had dropped the siblings off at Hebrew school every Sunday for years, and then driven three miles down the road to attend mass at St. Francis in Fairless Hills — dayenu. But there’s more, much more, in this saga of a faith that unites two religions, three generations and four people whose love for Judaism—and for one another — transcends blood ties. It stars 12-year-old Madison, Zoe and Jona- than Kemp, who are prep- ping for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah later this month at Congregation Beth El in Yardley. It also stars the woman they call Mom- Mom: Mary Brodsky, wid- ow of their maternal grand- father Jack Brodsky, who is raising the youngsters as Jews and making sure they get a proper Jewish education. “We read in Proverbs about a woman of valor,” says Rabbi Joshua Gruenberg, religious leader of Beth El. “I think it might have been written for Mary.” Th e triplets’ father, Andrew Kemp, died in 2006 during a stay in the hospital for a ruptured colon. Th eir mother, Helena Brodsky Kemp, died two years later of an aortic aneurysm, a bulge in the section of the body’s main artery that can burst and cause major bleeding. Shortly before Helena’s death, Mary Brodsky had been holding conversations with the entity she calls “Th e Big Guy.” Feeling lonely and at loose ends three years after her husband passed away, she spoke to God from behind the wheel of of Mary Brodsky (inset) has helped her three adopted step-grandchildren, (l-r) Madison, Jonathan and Zoe, reach the point of becoming B’nai Mitzvah later this month. her car, confi ding in him, “I need a purpose in life.” Later, when their newly orphaned status found Madison, Zoe and Jona- than in her care, Brodsky had one rueful thought: “I really should be careful what I wish for.” Th e triplets were 5. Mary Brodsky, a retired middle manager for the IRS, was about to be- come a fi rst-time mother in her early 60s. It wouldn’t be easy — she knew that. Zoe was born with short heel cords and was in leg braces for many years. Jonathan, diagnosed early on with cerebral palsy, uses a wheelchair. But although Helena had a sister living in London who off ered to take her nieces and neph- ew, Brodsky was determined to keep them in the home in which they’d grown up, observing the religion on which they’d been nurtured. Before she died, Helena Kemp compiled a list she called “Eight Th ings I’m Passionate About”: “HaShem, Madison, Zoe, Jonathan, Judaism, My Family, Learning, Tikkun Olam — healing JEWISH EXPONENT the world, or at least my little corner of it.” “Th eir mother taught them the Shema before they went to nursery school — they said it ev- ery night,” Brodsky recalls. “One of the reasons I kept the children is that my husband would have wanted them to be raised Jewish.” And Jewish they most defi nitely are. Reclining in his bed, fl anked by his sisters and a stuff ed Minion doll from the movie Despi- cable Me he’s dubbed “Rabbi,” Jonathan Kemp is holding court. He’s the baby of the threesome, temporarily sidelined while recovering from hip-repair surgery less than fi ve weeks earlier — two months before the Big Day. He’s explaining why it’s so important to him to mount the bimah at Beth El to chant his share of Haftorah accompanying the Tazriah Metzorah Torah portion, the passages he’s been learning for the past three-quarters of a year. “Having a sense of being Jewish, that culture passed on to me by my mom, has made me a better person,” Jonathan says, shifting slightly to get comfortable in the cast that encases his lower body from chest to foot. “I want to pass that along to my kids someday. APRIL 9, 2015 3 To the Power of Three Continued from page 3 Being Jewish, to me, has changed my life around.” Each of the Kemp children will recite a third of the Haftorah that Saturday morning, April 25. For Zoe, the highlight of the ceremony will be the sense of accomplishment she expects to feel for sticking it out over the months and years; for Madison, it’s the feeling of having proven herself up to the task. “Th ere’s also the aspect of having a Jewish com- munity around us — that’s what makes you feel more connected to God,” Zoe adds. Th e seventh-graders at William Penn Middle School have also signed on for a B’nai Mitzvah proj- ect suggested by Beth El education director Karen Lewis: collecting toiletries and writing letters to Lone Soldiers, the young men and women from throughout the world who travel to Israel to serve in the Israel Defense Forces, leaving behind family, friends and loved ones. Th e Bucks County synagogue has a personal con- nection to the project, Lewis notes: Elisa Mindlin, who has taught at Beth El over the years, is the sister of Michael Levin, a Lone Soldier who made aliyah from Newtown in 2002, and who died in battle in Lebanon in 2006. But for now, Jonathan brings the talk back to the upcoming festivities, which will feature a catered luncheon donated by the synagogue. “Standing in front of hundreds of people, I’m go- ing to feel like I’m the last man on Earth. It’s amaz- ing to know how I’ve worked my butt off for this,” the newly minted teenager says, looking around at the adults at his bedside to make sure he’s allowed to use that word in polite company. Rabbi Gruenwald nods. Laughs. Th en he notes that the Kemps’ B’nai Mitzvah has blossomed into a community-wide celebration, a feel-good event that has touched many of the 318 families in the Conser- vative congregation. “Th ey’ve watched the kids grow up, and this is a family that serves as a great inspiration to us. It re- minds us what the important things in life are,” says Gruenwald, whose tenure at the Bucks County syn- agogue has included offi ciating at the B’nai Mitzvah of another set of triplets two years ago. “I think I’m leading America in terms of triplets being Bar Mitzvahed,” the rabbi quips. Even before Helena Kemp died, the family was active in Beth El life, Lewis remembers; the children were about 4 or 5 when she joined. Since then, ad- ministrators and members of the congregation have embraced Zoe, Madison and Jonathan as their own. It was Lewis who helped design the Bar/Bat Mitzvah invitation that has each of the triplet’s smiling faces on the cover, which members of the synagogue’s USY chapter stuff ed into envelopes at 3 a.m. on an early March Sunday morning during a weekend sleepover. It was his fellow students who sent Jonathan High Standards. Phenomenal Service. Enviable Events. REDEFINING THE ART OF KOSHER CATERING 550 Allendale Road King of Prussia, PA 19406 610-257-3050 • info@sixpointskosher.com www.sixpointskosher.com 4 APRIL 9, 2015 SIMCHAS “Rabbi,” the jaunty yellow Minion doll sporting a turquoise kipah and the scrawled signatures of his pals, and it was their parents who delivered home- cooked meals to the home in the immediate after- math of his surgery so his Mom-Mom could attend to his other needs. Many of the congregants will crowd into Beth El’s sanctuary next month when the triplets mark their formal passage into Jewish adulthood. Brodsky, who acknowledges that her grasp of He- brew isn’t stellar, will recite the Shehecheyanu prayer three times — once for each celebrant — thanking God for allowing them all to reach this day. She’ll be thinking of her late husband that day, and how pleased he’d be that another generation of Jews had been successfully launched. She’ll be mar- veling over how the congregation has so generously adopted her family, much as she had adopted Zoe, Madison and Jonathan. But mostly, she says, she’ll be hoping that the months of training provide a solid grounding as the triplets chant on the bimah that morning. “If they get through their Torah portions, I will be the proudest person in that room,” Mary Brodsky says quietly. “Th ey have been studying so hard — I will be holding my breath the whole time.” Fredda Sacharow is a frequent contributor to Special Sections. SIX POINTS KOSHER EVENTS JEWISHEXPONENT.COM Preparing for a Special Needs Bar/Bat Mitzvah By Rabbi Margot Stein My son, a high-functioning child with autism, did not speak until he was 4 years old and is only now, in seventh grade, learning to read indepen- dently. Yet he chanted from the Torah, recited the Shema, helped lead the service, and delivered a d’var Torah that was unique in several important ways. He was thrilled, and so were we. How can you make your child’s celebration equally memorable? 1. Know your child and make accommodations accordingly. Do not hesitate to ask your rabbi to work with you on this. If your child is as outgoing as our son is, and can handle a lot of guests, fi ne. If she is fearful of crowds or has performance anxi- ety, keep it intimate. While we are close with our synagogue rabbi, we also asked Rabbi Zev Baram from the Philly Friendship Circle to be a spiritual mentor for our son, since the Barams’ work with the special needs community has taught our son much about what it means to be Jewish. 2. Choose a time and place where you have more control. A big sanctuary with two B’nai Mitzvah each week is probably not going to be the right setting if you want to bend rules and de- velop an individualized event. We chose a mincha, or afternoon, service beginning an hour before sundown on Saturday afternoon and culminating with Havdalah. It’s a beautiful time of day, and one that has fewer requirements in terms of the liturgy but does include a Torah service (be sure to cal- culate the correct reading based on the following week’s parsha). 3. Determine how your child learns best. Is she a natural mimic? Can he read with ease? Would a kinesthetic, hands-on approach be more effec- tive? I can’t tell you how helpful it is to work with a qualifi ed tutor who is able to develop a multi- sensory plan. Rabbi Michelle Greenfi eld brought Alef-Bet games, developed a reward system to motivate learning, created an enlarged notebook of the appropriate pages from the prayer book, used highlighters and other visual cues, and cre- ated a visual schedule of each week’s tutoring session. As parents, we also made recordings, built rewards into his week for practicing, and made arrangements with his special needs camp to continue his tutoring over the summer. 4. Don’t be afraid to veer off the beaten path — and get help from others along the way. As the weeks went by, we realized our son would not be able to deliver a traditional Dd’ar Torah. So we asked a beloved adult friend to help. Together, they prepared the story, decided what was important about it and designed a conversation that elicited the points they wanted to make. On the big day, this friend gently guided him through their foam core note cards, asking questions and elaborating here and there. Our son’s natural talkativeness and preference for relational experi- ences shone through. 5. Do some things that are just plain fun. In our case, announcing the page numbers seemed to fi t the bill (the rabbi whispered them in his ear and he repeated them aloud). One boy wrote a song for his d’var Torah and sang it with his dad, with the whole congregation joining in on the cho- ruses. If your child has a special interest, build that into the service in some way. Melissa Bell The Jewish Relief Agency honors the efforts and dedication of the B’nai Mitzvah students who, over the past year, did an awesome job helping to deliver food and a smile to more than 3,200 needy families each month. Mazel Tov and thank you all for inviting your friends and family to join in your mitzvah at JRA! Marlee Berger Mark Klinchin Old York Road Temple-Beth Am Stuart Berman Shir Ami Michael Kumnick Temple Emanuel, NJ Philip Brosof Congregations of Shaare Shamayim Amalia Littwin Congregation Sons of Israel Alex Burick Beth Tikvah-B’nai Jeshurun Cara Margolis Main Line Reform Temple Madison Cacopardo Old York Road Temple-Beth Am Micheala Patalano Old York Road Temple-Beth Am Matthew Center Beth Tikvah-B’nai Jeshurun Isaac Perera Shir Ami Erin Cheifetz Old York Road Temple-Beth Am Adam Plotnick Temple Judea of Bucks County Samantha Frank Temple Brith Achim Will Pludo Alexandra Fronstin Congregation Beth Or Maci Gordon Congregation Beth Or Allie Hershman Congregation Beth Or Michael Kalman Temple Sinai, Dresher Mina Kessler Suburban Jewish Community Center-B’nai Aaron April 12, May 3, June 7, & July 12 6. Plan the reception with as much support as you need and in a way that works for you. In our case, we wanted the dinner to follow right down- stairs for the easiest possible transition. With 15 classmates with a range of special needs in atten- dance, we also invited a parent chaperone (both parents, if we knew them or had socialized with them), plus we hired two teenaged girls to help the kids dance and follow directions for games on the dance fl oor. Work with your bandleader or DJ to make the whole party as easygoing and kid- friendly as possible, or skip the music if your child dislikes loud noise. 7. Do a Mitzvah Project. Sometimes we let kids with special needs off the hook when it comes to helping others. I think this can be a mistake; all kids feel better about themselves when they are helping others. Choose a project that is attain- able for your child, and support her every step of the way. Our son wanted to help animals (which integrated perfectly with his study of Noah and the Ark). We were lucky to fi nd Sam’s Hope, which packs donated food and delivers it to food pantries, shut-ins, and others who cannot keep their pets at home without food support. 8. Delegate someone to troubleshoot logis- tics once the service begins. Your job is to sit up front, surrounded by loved ones and enjoy every second as it unfolds! Rabbi Margot Stein is a graduate of RRC, where she currently teaches prayer and liturgy to rabbinical students. She is a board member of Jewish Learning Venture and consultant to the agency’s Whole Community Inclusion initiative. Leah Kleinman Temple Shalom Daniel Rosenthal Shir Ami Jacob Saltzburg Reform Congregation Keneseth Israel Sophia Shapiro Beth Sholom Congregation Melissa Sicherman Glazier Jewish Center Sammy Vaniver Ohev Shalom of Bucks County Lily Warkow Temple Sinai, Dresher Emma Zucker Temple Judea of Bucks County The Good Life A supplement only in the Jewish Exponent Appearing May 14 To advertise in this special section, call 215.832.0700 or your sales representative. JEWISHEXPONENT.COM JEWISH EXPONENT APRIL 9, 2015 5 In the Name Daughter of the W hat my tiny daughter lacked in pounds and ounces, she more than made up for in syllables. Th e name I bestowed on my di- minutive newborn was Zelda Zorina Ognianova Danailova — a substantial moniker in- deed. Obviously, I like the letter Z; Ognianova, in her father’s Bulgarian culture, is the patronymic, meaning “daughter of Ognian.” And Danailova is the feminine form of our Slavic family name. But it became apparent that those 14 syllables were not enough. Zelda would also need a Hebrew name, my mother decreed, and she should receive it the way I had received my own — in a Jewish naming ceremony. “We all stood around the living room with friends and family,” my mother recalled, “and your father and I talked about our hopes and wishes for you, and how we felt about having a child, and the symbolism and meaning of the names we chose.” Hopes? Meanings? Th e prospect of talking about my feelings at all, much less in front of other people, makes me want to crawl under a sofa and hide. But more than that, it was the nebulousness of feminine ritual that left me confused. I yearned for a script to follow — an advantage enjoyed by parents of boys; everyone knows you perform a bris on the eighth day of life, at which point the baby receives his Hebrew name in exchange for his foreskin. Because there is no similar halachic prescription for welcom- ing a girl, and because the entire ritual — commonly referred to as simchat bat or brit bat — is a relatively recent practice, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by op- tions. As I talked to parents and clergy, however, it be- came clear that many view those options as a plus. “It aff ords us a lot of creativity,” said Rabbi Eric Yanoff of Adath Israel, a Conser- vative synagogue in Merion 6 APRIL 9, 2015 The brit bat offers a myriad of ways to celebrate a Jewish baby girl’s birth. By Hilary Danailova Station. “Th ere is a huge treasure trove of meaningful traditions developed by people over time. So let’s as- sume the tradition has something to off er, and not be afraid to innovate.” I learned that American girl-naming ceremonies fall into two categories. One is roughly what my par- ents did — a private gathering of friends and family, often at home but sometimes in a synagogue event space, wherein the new parents speak about the meaning of the baby’s name. Generally, an offi ciant — a rabbi or layperson — recites Hebrew naming blessings, followed by toasts and a reception. Th e more traditional approach, which is stan- dard in Orthodox communities, involves the parents bringing the baby to synagogue for the fi rst Torah reading day following her birth; during the service, the rabbi announces the baby’s arrival and Hebrew name and invites the father — or in egalitarian rites, both parents — for an aliyah. Afterward, it is com- mon for the family to sponsor a Kiddush, when the entire community joins in celebration of its newest member. Two schools of thought also compete on the timing of a brit bat. Some parents are happy to take advantage of the fl exibility aff orded by not having to adhere to the eighth-day edict, and baby girls are commonly named anytime during their fi rst year — or even beyond. But other Jewish parents feel strongly about honoring their daughters in a way that mirrors, as closely as possible, the welcome given to a son. “What was most important was egalitarianism in this part of the life cycle,” Rabbi Michael Ramberg of Philadelphia, who is now the campus rabbi at Ursi- nus College, recalled of his daughter Pina’s cer- emony. “Th e fact that such a big deal is made of naming for boys made us want to do that for our daughter.” At the time of her naming, Ram- berg was still at rabbinical SIMCHAS college, so he was exposed to plenty of potential nam- ing rites — some of which, he told me, were “physi- cally intrusive” in ways intended to reference male cir- cumcision. “You hear some wacky ideas in rabbinical school,” Ramberg acknowledged. I explored some of the less-wacky ideas at the Re- constructionist website Ritualwell.org, which Ram- berg and several others recommended for inspiration. (Another popular reference is Anita Diamant’s Th e New Jewish Baby Book.) Refl ecting on rituals that ranged from the touchy-feely to the gender-neutral to the specifi cally feminine, I realized I wanted a cer- emony that emphasized Zelda’s role as the newest in a matriarchal line of Jewish women — I am Jewish on my mother’s side — rather than an approximation of the male rite. But such impulses are deeply personal. In the end, Ramberg gathered some 30 family members, friends and rabbis-in-training for a Sunday service in a small sanctuary at Mishkan Shalom, a Philadelphia Re- constructionist synagogue. Th e congregation’s rabbi performed a ceremony that incorporated candlesticks used by Pina’s great-grandmother Hasha, whose name Pina received as a Hebrew appellation. Th e core of Pina’s ceremony was a ritual foot- washing. “Th ere’s a symbolic meaning to water, and references to foot-washing from the Torah, to enter the covenant,” Ramberg explained. Foot-washing is one of several rituals adopted by parents seeking physical gestures that feel meaningful, timeless — and allusive, in some way, to the corporeal- spiritual connection implicit in circumcision, which represents human covenant with the Divine. Yanoff de- scribed how he holds the baby girl up to the Torah and touches her JEWISHEXPONENT.COM foot to the scrolls, saying something like, “You are touching the Torah; may it touch you and inform you all the days of your life.” Th e young rabbi has thought hard about phys- ical acts that provide that kind of indelible spectacle for witnesses: “I try for ritual moments.” One he also likes involves swad- dling the baby in a tallit that may have belonged to a beloved family member. “Th ey are literally wrap- ping the baby in the tallit of some- one meaningful,” he said. “It’s a 30-second moment, but it’s that visual impact.” Another popular ritual involves handing the baby a mezuzah, per- haps the one destined for the baby’s nursery door. Babies, especially older ones, will inevitably put it in their mouths, providing the image of the baby “kissing” the mezuzah. “You don’t have to just take out,” Yanoff noted, referring to the unassailable rite at the center of male naming, which is obviously not possible for girls. “You can also put things in.” Or as Rabbi Jill Maderer ob- served, in an unconscious double entendre: “Obviously there’s a big missing piece to the girls’ experi- ence. But other than that, the prayers are the same, the experience is the same.” For Maderer, who is a rabbi at Congregation Rodeph Sholom, egalitarianism was the driving prin- ciple behind her daughter’s eighth- day brit bat, which was led by her sister. “I decided that if I was in a huge rush for my son, I wanted to do the same thing for my daugh- ter,” she explained. Maderer opted to have the rite at home, with only immediate family, for the same reason many people either keep it simple or wait awhile: “I wasn’t feeling up to en- tertaining a large group just a week after giving birth,” she said. A more personal ritual also proved satisfying for Heather Stecker of Bryn Mawr, whose second daughter, Leila Morgan, was named in a private ceremony conducted by Yanoff . Whereas her fi rst daughter, Belle Rose, had been named during a Saturday ser- vice, for Leila’s naming the Steckers gathered about 20 people in a small room at Adath Israel, wrapping the baby in a tallit that had belonged to her grandfather. In addition to discussing their JEWISHEXPONENT.COM naming choices, Stecker and her husband talked about praying for their babies’ arrivals — an allusion to the fertility challenges they had overcome. “It was very moving and very intimate,” Stecker explained, “and not something you can do in a sanctuary with 100 people. We wanted the focus to be on our fam- ily, not on whoever was being Bar Mitzvahed that day.” For Ilana Ehrlich, a Philadel- phia lawyer, egalitarianism was so important that — hewing to the tradition for male children — she and her husband, Adam, declined to share their daughters’ names before their synagogue rituals, which occurred within days of the respective births. “As a mother of girls, in some ways that’s the clos- est you’re going to get to a bris,” explained Ehrlich. Also, given their preferred timing, the syna- gogue service was “a very simple way to do a naming.” While the Shabbat service can strike some parents as a less-per- sonal setting, for families like the Ehrlichs — who are involved with Minyan Tikvah in Center City — it may be the most haimish way to celebrate. “We wanted to give ev- eryone in our community a chance to know at the same time what we were naming, and why,” Ehrlich said. Th e Ehrlichs named their sec- ond daughter at Ilana Ehrlich’s parents’ shul, Germantown Jewish Centre, “so I got to celebrate it with people who watched me grow up, which was a lovely way to welcome a child into a community,” Ehrlich said. Th e Ehrlichs made the deliber- ate choice to give their children one set of names for English and He- brew use. I had always wondered about the logic of our myriad un- used monikers; nobody has used my own Hebrew name, Sara Tzvia, since my Bat Mitzvah in 1989. So the idea that little Gabriela Yael and Noa Reva Ehrlich would feel a meaningful connection to the names they hear in shul seemed profoundly refreshing. I discovered that in choosing Hebrew names, Jewish parents are increasingly venturing beyond classics like Yitzhak and Chaya to modern choices like Netanya and Ayelet — and even to Yiddish bor- rowings. But meaning remains im- portant. 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Dekalb Pike | King of Prussia, Pa | 610-312-0356 www.doubletreehotelvalleyforge.com JEWISH EXPONENT APRIL 9, 2015 7 In the Name of the Daughter A P ERFECT D AY Continued from page 7 needs A Perfect Place Tiferet Bet Israel Blue Bell, Pennsylvania Complete Facilities for All Your Simchas, Ceremonies And Celebrations 610- 610 - 275- 275 - 8797 www.tbibluebell.org Photo by Howard Karashoff and Jewish website I consulted, the assignment of a name to a Jewish child carries enormous spiritual and metaphysical weight. For Ehrlich, that meant choosing biblical names of “kind of unconventional women,” she explained. “Th at was a fun and interest- ing way to name daughters.” Mindy Rubinlicht-Torban of Horsham told me how she struggled to adapt two family names — Efraim and Velvel — into a Hebrew name for her daughter Julia, now 2 years old. She settled on Effi Ziva; Effi is a Yiddish nickname, and Ziva is the femi- nine form of Zev, which — like Velvel — translate to “wolf.” So maybe the Yiddish “Zelda” would pass muster, I thought, though I’d need a second name to honor family members. Rubinlicht-Torban also eased my anxiety over another factor that has delayed Zelda’s ritual: the reality that since her birth, our family has been in geographical transition. With her father and I splitting our time between both coasts — and having lived abroad for several years before that — we sorely lack the communal or congregational roots that sud- denly feel so crucial. As it happens, the Rubinlicht-Torbans were also unaffi liated. “I said, ‘I don’t want some rabbi I have no connection with naming my child,’” recounted Rubinlicht-Torban, who has found community in on- line forums such as jkidphilly.org. Instead, she asked a Jewish neighbor with whom they shared Shabbat dinners to offi ciate at her parents’ home. Th e friends planned a service that incorporated Jewish blessings, poems and responsive readings into a booklet for guests. “We got everyone involved in bless- ing the baby,” Rubinlicht-Torban recalled. “And we had this person we loved and respected, an example of how we wanted to lead our Jewish lives down the road, naming our daughter. It was just the most beautiful, personal, intimate experience.” Julia’s naming took place about eight weeks after her birth — but in the course of researching this piece, I heard about plenty of namings for girls old enough to walk to the bimah and eat the bagels afterward. I stopped feeling like a bad Jewish mother for not hav- ing named my almost-toddler yet. Because as Yanoff reminded me, it’s never really too late. He recalled a woman he once coached in an adult B’nai Mitzvah class, a retiree who had been raised without any Jewish ritual at all. When the day came for the woman’s Bat Mitzvah, he included a special naming blessing — the one his septuagenarian pupil had never received as a baby. And technically speaking, there is nothing wrong with that. “It’s the best part about having a girl,” Mindy Rubinlicht-Torban told me. “You really can do whatever you like.” Hilary Danailova is currently winnowing her way through possible Hebrew names for her daughter. CELEBRATE LIFE’S IMPORTANT MOMENTS WITH A MAZEL TOV BOND MAZEL TOV BONDS A Gift of Mazel Tov Bonds Helps Support Every Aspect of Israel’s Economy, Allowing for Advances in High-Tech, Biotechnology and Communications INVEST IN ISRAEL BONDS · ISRAELBONDS.COM Harold F. Marcus, Executive Director Development Corporation for Israel/Israel Bonds 1500 Walnut Street, Suite 1302 · Philadelphia, PA 19102 215.545.8380 · 800.752.5671 · philadelphia@israelbonds.com This is not an offering, which can be made only by prospectus. Read the prospectus carefully before investing to fully evaluate the risks associated with investing in Israel bonds. Issues subject to availability. Member FINRA Photos: Aleksandr Kutsayev, Corbis, Comstock, istockphoto.com 8 APRIL 9, 2015 SIMCHAS JEWISHEXPONENT.COM Good Veils Them for What It’s time to uncover the latest trends in bridal headwear. By Hilary Danailova I n the traditional Jewish wedding ceremo- ny, there comes a moment when the groom gently lifts the bride’s diaphanous veil, revealing the face of his beloved — a gesture that recalls the biblical matriarch Rebecca, who covered her face with a handkerchief when marrying Isaac. Th e veiling ceremony, known as bedeken, alludes to both the married woman’s physi- cal modesty and the emphasis on spiritual, rather than physical, beauty in the eyes of her groom. Modesty and spiritual connection will have to fi nd their metaphors elsewhere for many of today’s brides, how- ever. For modern-day Rebec- cas, that handkerchief is more likely to be a garland of dahl- ias, a birdcage-style fascina- tor, or even a sparkly crystal headband, as bridal headwear has evolved from the de rigueur veil to a range of expressive accessories. “Th at princess tiara, with big crystals and a poufy veil, is not feeling as modern,” observed Ivy Kaplin, owner of Lovely Bride Philadelphia. Instead, as a survey of local bridal experts revealed, contemporary brides are overwhelmingly seeking a rus- tic look that’s right in step with today’s green ethos. Or- ganic: it’s not just for arugula anymore. In fact, “organic” was a word that came up again and again to describe the favored look for 2015 weddings — along with “ethereal,” “soft” and, of course, “natural.” “Today’s brides are looking for a softer style, some- thing more organic-looking,” said Kaplin, who opened the Philadelphia outpost of Lovely Bride a year and a half ago to cater to what she describes as “a little less traditional, creative, DIY bride.” “We’re seeing lots of fl oral-looking hair vines that have some sparkle — something to give the brides a little glitz but also feels more natural, not so overpower- ing to wear,” Kaplin added. At Philadelphia Bridal Company, a midprice sa- lon, Ashley Erin Corbett is seeing brides who want “an ethereal, nymph-like eff ect,” she said. It’s a less studied, girlier look than in previous eras — “think of the An- thropologie customer.” Like her colleagues, Corbett sells a lo lot of headbands and wreaths these days; m many incorporate metal fl owers or vines, S Swarovski crystals or sheer organza ribbons, e even feathers. What’s driving the trend appears to b be the growing popularity o of weddings that take place o outdoors or in rustic settings. W Whereas ballrooms were once the standard for receptions, couples increasingly host their fêtes at farms and even in barns, a refl ection of the current vogue for a sustainable, natural lifestyle. “Th e most popular place we always hear about is the Horticulture Center” in Fairmount Park, said Kaplin. “In Philadelphia there are a lot of great arboretums and outdoor venues that give much more of this natural feel for a bride who wants something that isn’t as formal, but is still beautiful.” At the upscale boutique Elizabeth Johns in Ard- more, bridal consultant Erika Perry sells ornate crystal Wedding headpieces from (l-r) Maria Elena; Pronovias; Jennifer Behr; Jenny Packham; and Love ‘n Fresh Flowers JEWISHEXPONENT.COM JEWISH EXPONENT headbands with trailing ribbons, soft headbands that go across the foreheads and “viney, organic” headbands that give a halo eff ect. “It’s the boho feel — hair down, parted in the middle with a loose wave,” Perry said. “I have a lot of brides getting married on farms, with long tables and Mason jars, and they like a messy, undone look.” Even in a barn, Perry noted, sparkly crystal ac- cents in the hair keep the look bridal — not milkmaid. “Th ere’s a defi nite move away from the stiff , formal aesthetic,” said Jennie Love, owner of Love ‘n Fresh Flow- ers in Chestnut Hill. “Everyone’s embracing a more natu- ral, earthy style.” Love’s business has evolved from selling fl owers at farmers’ markets to doing fl owers for weddings to creating fl oral headpieces for eco-chic brides — the ul- timate in local, seasonal and sustainable fashion. “Th e fresh hair fl owers started maybe four years ago in a big way, and it has defi nitely gotten more and more popular,” said Love. And it’s n not just the boho brides any- m more, she added: “At fi rst it w was for laid-back, outdoor w weddings, but now it can be a any type of wedding.” While some are happy with silk or metal fl oral ac- cents, “most girls who want fl owers do want real fl ow- ers,” Kaplin said. Fresh blossoms are also a way to add a note of color; brides who would never don a purple veil will usually match their hair fl owers to their bouquets or bridesmaids’ dresses. Wearable blooms are possibly the most striking trend in bridalwear — which might seem surprising, given how Continued on page 12 APRIL 9, 2015 9 now tax-free Guest-of-a-Wedding or Bar/Bat Mitzvah? Mother-of-the-Bar/Bat Mitzvah? Mother-of-the-Bride/Groom? Then visit the largest dress store in the region Located 5 miles from the Ben Franklin Bridge! 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Save up to 8% by shopping at Jan’s! you know Jan’s for its Evening dresses now get to know us for our amazing Pre-Teen Dresses Morning appointments receive a $50 e-gift card don’t get fooled, by law your local PA dress retailer must charge you up to 8% sales tax, it pays to cross the Bridge! established 1974 JEWISHEXPONENT.COM Alterations on Premises JEWISH EXPONENT 20,000+ Dresses online APRIL 9, 2015 11 Good for What Veils Them Continued from page 9 The Bou que Created Especially for Girls Sizes 7-14, Preteen & Junior Trunk Shows Coming in June C. W. Designs Gowns, Dresses & Suits for your Special Occasion. Appropriate Bimah A re Sondra Celli Couture Custom Designed Gowns, Dresses & Suits Great Selec on of Prom Gowns 215-579-9899 Closed Mon.; Tues.-Fri. 11 – 5:30; Thur. eves  ll 8; Sat. 10 – 5; Sun. 12 – 5 4 Cambridge Lane, Newtown, Pa. 18940 www.partygirlsnewtown.com Search Party Girls Newtown wedding pieces tend to be cherished as heirlooms to pass on. You can’t do that if your chignon is accented with ranunculus. “Th ere’s some beauty in the fact that it’s just for one day,” explained Love, who said the most-requested blossoms also include dahlias and lisianthus. “It makes the wedding day all the more special.” Not every bride feels that way, of course. Many are embracing a vintage aesthetic, inspired by Downton Abbey and by a desire for things that feel meaningful and authentic. So-called birdcage, Rus- sian, or fi ngertip veils — the fl irty piece of netting that covers just the Kosher Foods & More Kosher Platters for All Occasions LOCALLY-BASED! We Offer Meat, Dairy and Fish Menus. Choose from our extensive selection, including smoked fi sh, deli, sushi, wraps, fruit salads and more... Ask us about our KIDDUSH catalog! Tel: 267-722-8530 Set up and delivery available. Under the strict supervision of Community Kashrus of Philadelphia. 12 APRIL 9, 2015 SIMCHAS eyes or the top half of the bride’s face, attached to a fascinator or comb — have become ubiquitous on the wedding aisle. So are headpieces that repurpose sentimental items like a grand- mother’s jewelry or veil. “Th ey might take an old brooch or some- thing that had been in the family, and incorporate it into their hair,” said Janice Martin, owner of the eponymous Ardmore couture shop where she has designed custom bridalwear for 25 years. Unlike the more ornate head- pieces of yesteryear, many of today’s headbands, jeweled combs and discreetly sparkly hairclips can be worn again, said Pattie Lamantilla, who owns the Wedding Shoppe in Wayne, where affl uent brides spend an average of $5,000 on the gown alone. “Some of these hair jew- els can be converted to a brooch,” added Lamantilla, “so that you can have your own heirloom from your wedding.” Headpieces — which typically cost in the low to mid-three fi g- ures — aren’t generally associated with well-known labels, the way gowns are. An exception, said La- mantilla, is a vintage-inspired line by Jenny Packham, the London designer who became a celebrity thanks to her most famous cli- ent, Kate Middleton. (Middleton herself, the glamorous duchess of Cambridge, is credited with popu- larizing a more conservative wed- ding look, bringing back sleeves and lace.) “Th e new headbands are really thin, so the wire is hidden, and it looks like the little brooch or the crystals are just fl oating in your hair,” Lamantilla explained. With all the new options, whither the veil? Th e most essen- tially bridal of vestments, it is the single article of clothing that — at least in contemporary America — is worn exclusively by brides. And veils remain the choice of roughly half of them, according to sales- people. “A lot of Jewish brides defi nitely will wear a veil, because it becomes a part of the service when the groom lifts the blusher,” noted Lamantilla, using the industry term for a sheer, chin-length face veil. But according to Reena Spicehandler, the visiting rabbi at Philadelphia’s German- town Jewish Centre, the Jewish veiling ceremony is custom rather than law — so while tradition- minded Jewish brides often want veils, it’s not obligatory. Rabbi Spicehandler herself went veil-free as a bride. “I wore fl ow- ers in my hair,” she recalled with a laugh. “It was 1973.” Today’s veils are likely to be lace — and to drape gently from the nape of the neck, rather than poufi ng out from the crown of the head. “Veils are softer, straighter and less voluminous,” said Kap- lin. “Brides want something that breathes in the wind.” And while long trains call for longer veils, there is no dominant length right now; brides are choosing everything from the Russian veil — which hits at the bridge of the nose — to the full-length sweep that gets pinned up so the bride can dance at the reception. With so much focus on the headwear, modern brides are es- chewing necklaces and earrings to keep the look refi ned. “Th ey do hair jewelry instead of large earrings,” said Lamantilla, “and the other ac- cessory might be a jeweled belt or a sash.” Hairstyles also tend to be simple — soft chignons, French twists — in keeping with the pref- erence for a natural aesthetic. And aside from those brightly hued fl owers, brides still over- whelmingly opt for a classic, sub- dued palette: ivory, cream, blush, although Janice Martin recently dyed silk fl owers in turquoise and hot pink for a headpiece to match a custom wedding gown, she re- called. “I’m also developing a line of fi beroptic and LED headwear for the Japanese market,” said Martin. Th e gadget-mad Japanese, she ex- plained, “do a lot more with tech- nology in their everyday clothing,” so it was only a matter of time be- fore high-tech made it into bridal- wear. But fi beroptic hairclips seem unlikely to make headway — pun intended — with the natural-and- organic crowd. “Honestly,” Martin said, “I don’t see it coming to this country anytime soon.” Hilary Danailova is a fan of acces- sorizing whenever possible. JEWISHEXPONENT.COM JEWISHEXPONENT.COM JEWISH EXPONENT APRIL 9, 2015 13 Connubiality Individuality L The number of ways to personalize your wedding is only limited by your imagination. with ast December, surrounded by relatives who held up the bright blue family chupah, Amy and Mi- cah Kagan were married under that symbolic cloth — adding their own gold-embroidered leaf to that of six other couples on the chupah’s family tree. Twenty-fi ve people watched the traditional Jew- ish ceremony, which Rabbi Eric Yanoff performed in Philadelphia so that elderly grandparents could easily attend. A month later, a crowd of 110 gathered near the slopes at a mountaintop ski lodge in Park City, Utah for a second Jewish wedding that refl ected the couple’s passion for winter sports. But instead of hav- ing the rabbi intone the seven traditional wedding blessings, the Kagans assigned seven friends and fam- ily members to recite their own interpretations of the prayers. “We wanted a modern take on the Jewish wed- ding ceremony,” Amy Kagan explained of their idiosyncratic nuptials. “And both rabbis helped us achieve that. Everyone really hit it out of the park. It was moving and mean- ingful and heartfelt.” Th e Kagans are part of a generational trend toward highly personal- ized, distinctive wedding ceremonies. As the focus of matrimony has shifted from cementing communal status to celebrating the union of two individuals, Jewish weddings have be- come more individualized as well, with quirky touch- es that refl ect a couple’s passions and priorities. So along with vows on mountaintops — “I al- ways dreamed of skiing down the mountain in my wedding dress,” confi ded Amy Kagan — brides and grooms today might decorate a ketubah with pictures from Camp Ramah; recite poems that refl ect a shared love of the Spanish Golden Age; or incorporate senti- mental artifacts into the ceremony, from a family ring to a grandfather’s tallit. “Many couples want to personalize the wed- ding, to make it more meaningful, so that it speaks to them,” observed Rabbi David Straus of Main Line Reform Temple in Wynnewood. He views it as part of a larger phenomenon — “the privatization of Jewish life-cycle events,” as he described it. Witness the grow- ing number of Bar Mitzvahs that take place at hotels 14 APRIL 9, 2015 By Hilary Danailova It was snow problem for Amy and Micah Kagan to hold a second wedding ceremony in Park City, Utah. with hired clergy, or in exotic destinations abroad with only family present. “And weddings, certainly in the liberal community, have become not communal but private aff airs,” Straus noted. Th at may refl ect both our highly individualistic society and the evolution of marriage from social ob- ligation to lifestyle choice. But when it comes to tying the knot, most seem to agree with Straus: “I think whatever you do to make it personal, more meaning- ful and more intentional for you, the better,” he said. When Spencer Hoff man and Adam Putzer, a Manhattan couple, got married in Philadelphia last October, they designed a printed program that — along with explanations of the ceremony for non- Jewish guests — included a picture of their family tree. “Th at way every guest could see where we come from,” Hoff man said, adding that an Irish branch of her family converted from Catholicism. “Especially for our parents’ friends or extended family who don’t know us, they got a better sense of who we are.” SIMCHAS During the ceremony, friends read texts that the bride and groom had secretly selected that made each think of the other; Hoff man’s came from the novel Th e Portrait of a Lady, while Putzer’s was from the writings of a physicist. Another special decision was the reading of their ketubah out loud dur- ing the ceremony — an increasingly popular, and visible, inclusion for what was traditionally a legal marriage con- tract that was signed out of sight of the guests. “We wanted to share it with ev- erybody,” explained Hoff man. Perhaps no single item symbolizes the personalization trend more than the ketubah, which has evolved into a distinctive, artistic expression of a cou- ple’s love. Chances are good that you’ve never seen your grandparents’ ketubah — but if you have Jewish friends who were married in recent decades, you will likely have noticed a colorfully il- lustrated, Semitic-language parchment on prominent display. “Th ere was always the tradition of the ketubah, but a generation ago, it was just that legal document,” ex- plained Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer, author of Th e Cre- ative Jewish Wedding Book and an offi ciant with Jour- neys of the Heart, a Philadelphia agency that provides interfaith clergy. “In the Orthodox world, it still is. But in the progressive Jewish world, it’s become more of a spiritual document — the idea of having artwork that you and your partner choose together.” Writing their own ketubah was a profound bond- ing experience for Kaplan-Mayer and her husband, a Jewish Buddhist, who married in 2001. “It was the heart of our ceremony,” Kaplan-Mayer recalled. “We wrote our own commitment to each other, and my husband used some language from the Buddhist tra- dition in his part,” with each reading aloud during the ceremony. Over the years, Kaplan-Mayer has guided numer- ous couples as they plan ceremonies that, like her own, embrace the details that make each partnership unique. She has stood by while grooms recited Bruce Springsteen lyrics, coached brides through the Song of Songs, and helped fi nd love poems from sources as JEWISHEXPONENT.COM diverse as Edna St. Vincent Millay and Robert Fulghum. And in Kaplan-Mayer’s opin- ion, it is the Internet — particu- larly the blogosphere — that has transformed wedding planning, inviting Jewish brides and grooms to consider a universe of options. Whereas couples once had to trek to a Judaica shop to fi nd a decorat- ed ketubah, for instance, “now you can look online at fi ve or 10 diff er- ent artist websites and see what’s out there,” she said. Such innovation is less accept- able in the Orthodox community, according to Rabbi Eliezer Hirsch of Mekor Habracha, a Center City Orthodox congregation. He said an Orthodox ketubah must con- tain the original Aramaic text — no Hebrew, English or poetry, as is commonly found on those of non- Orthodox or secular couples — and the witnesses who sign it must be observant Jewish males. “My approach, when I’m asked to perform a wedding, is to bal- ance the elements,” Rabbi Hirsch explained. “Th ere are certain ele- ments that are not compromisable. For example, the ring ceremony — that has to be done exactly cor- rectly, because that’s what makes the marriage.” Th e seven blessings, also at the core of Jewish ritual, are one of the components most likely to be per- sonalized in non-Orthodox wed- dings. Some couples opt to write their own interpretations; have the blessings recited in both Hebrew and English translation; or, most popular of all, to assign people to read the blessings as a way of par- ticipating in the ceremony, as the Kagans did. At Old York Road Temple-Beth Am in Abington, Rabbi Robert Leib gives seven numbered cards containing “short, concise, non- literal” English translations of the blessings to each set of potential spouses. “It’s up to them to select seven individuals, and it adds an- other fl avor, as it were, to the cer- emony,” he said. But it is the chupah — the wed- ding canopy — that is at once the most iconic and most customiz- able piece of a Jewish wedding. Be it of cloth, fl oral garlands or other materials that have personal sig- nifi cance, the chupah hangs over the bride and groom as a metaphor for the Jewish home they will build together. It was that symbolism that led Sara Kunzman and Da- vid Baumgarten — Philadelphians who are sorting through traditions for their interfaith wedding — to settle fi rst on a chupah: “We both really thought, the chupah is a nice visual element,” Kunzman said. Kaplan-Mayer, who has seen chupahs made out of Shabbat ta- blecloths or from quilts with contri- butions from many friends, said the wedding canopy is the most popu- lar of Jewish traditions. In addition to its creative potential, “especially for the Jewish grandparents, there’s something about the visual symbol- ism that really resonates,” she said. Rabbi Leib has offi ciated under chupahs that wove threads from a grandfather’s tallit, and his couples are also increasingly likely to use old family jewelry for the ring ex- change. “It’s something very beauti- ful and meaningful to incorporate these generational Jewish ritual objects into the ceremony,” he said. Th e emphasis on family bonds also lends emotional weight to a ritual that — though private rather than communal — is still about the union of families. Kunzman and Baumgarten, whose wedding will take place in June, have already decided to honor both her Presbyterian side and his Jewish heritage with a unity candle ritual, employing candlesticks from her own family and the set used at Baumgarten’s sister’s wedding. “We’ve been researching heirlooms and concentrating on what we can do to meld the two families togeth- er,” Kunzman explained. Many observers trace the cre- ativity trend in weddings to the 1970s, when the feminist move- ment prompted Jews from across the spectrum to take a closer, more critical look at the ancient institu- tion of marriage — an institution whose gender roles had been strictly codifi ed for centuries. “Women started reclaiming and re-imagining ritual,” said Kaplan- Mayer. “Before the 1970s, women really weren’t consulted in the cre- ation of Jewish ritual. When wom- en started bringing their creative energy to ritual, change happened. And that’s been the trajectory.” Th at movement has eff ected change among the Orthodox as well. For example, Mekor Habra- cha’s Hirsch has married couples in which the woman seeks a more prominent role than might be tra- ditional, and he seeks to accommo- date that desire within halachah, or Jewish law. While the blessings must be re- cited by men in the Orthodox rite, for instance, a woman might follow the man’s blessing with a recited translation, he said. And although Jewish law does not allow for a two-way ring exchange — as many egalitarian-minded Jews seek today — some couples choose to have the woman present her groom’s ring with a recited blessing at another point in the ceremony. Some of these contemporary touches might end up as traditions of their own. Th e personalized fam- ily chupah, for instance, has been popular for more than a generation now — and the one Main Line Reform’s Straus created for his own wedding, which took place decades ago, has been shared by many cou- ples since. “My mother-in-law em- broiders the names of each couple who uses it,” he said. “We’ve been fortunate not to have to take too many names out.” Hilary Danailova is a frequent contributor to Special Sections. HAVE A PARTY SO GOOD EVERYONE WILL BE BEGGING FOR AN ENCORE! Crank up your event at the Hard Rock. It’s a one of a kind party venue where you can throw down like rockstars! Private space for Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, Wedding Receptions, and Rehersal Dinners. PHILADELPHIA | 1113-31 MARKET ST. | +1-215-238-1000 HARDROCK.COM ©2015 Hard Rock Cafe International (USA), Inc. All rights reserved. JOIN HARDROCKREWARDS . COM JEWISHEXPONENT.COM #THISISHARDROCK JEWISH EXPONENT APRIL 9, 2015 15 On the Event Horizon Logo designed by ©studio Kalderon Receptions are more entertaining than ever; here are a few reasons why. P hiladelphia master wedding consul- tant Lynda Barness thought she’d seen it all. Until her clients Shelby Zitelman and Dan Stamm proposed the idea of a silent disco for their June wedding. It was a fi rst for Barness, of I DO Wed- ding Consulting in Philadelphia “I still love surprises, and Shelby and Dan had one at their wedding that I had never seen before,” she marveled. Th e couple got married at the Abington Art Center last June and they decided to contain the noise and have fun in a new way. So, they hired Silent Storm, a company that supplied 200 wireless headsets and transmitters for the 7-10 p.m. after-party. “For the after-party, there were two — yes, two — separate DJs, and the guests could listen to the DJ and music of their choice through the headsets and dance to the music. But if you were standing in the room, all you could hear was the chatter of guests talking and no music. Th is would be great for a wedding in a township with a noise ordinance, too!” “Yeah the headphones are an awesome, easy and inexpensive gadget to add to any aff air,” said Zitelman. “We’d experienced the headphones at a music festival and wanted to recreate the amazing ex- perience for our wedding.” Once again, technology grabs the headlines. Whether you’re planning a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, wedding or cor- porate event, there’s no dodging the high-tech bullet. Depending on the occasion, tech can be in the spotlight, or on the down low, but it’s always going to factor. Even if you want low-tech, there are some fun developments on the social and corporate scene that can add a sense of Right Now to your next Big Day. By Beth D’Addono Social Media — Yes or No? According to a survey by Wed- ding Paper Divas, the average nuptials guest shared 22 wedding- related photos to social media sites, and four in 10 recent wedding guests reported a specifi c hashtag was provided and social sharing was encouraged for the event. Th e company’s etiquette maven, Am- ber Harrison, advises thinking before you post. “Be very thought- ful and deliberate about what and when you choose to post. When in doubt, hold off . Nothing will be harmed by waiting a few hours, or even days, to post that photo.” Th ere’s no right or wrong ap- proach to social media for a special occasion or event, but the reality is that attendees need to know how the host feels. In the case of wed- dings, Harrison says that “it’s im- portant for the engaged couple to establish the tone and make a de- cision about what best suits them, so they can clearly communicate those wishes to guests along the way.” If the hosts are all about the share, then the simplest thing to do Chandelier winch and wedding cake at Cescaphe elegantly inspired for every occasion Phoenixville Foundry has been transformed into the premier special event facility in Chester County, PA. This perfect venue for your Wedding or Mitzvah’s can accommodate up to 500 guests and offers first-class hospitality and amenities. 16 APRIL 9, 2015 SIMCHAS PHILIP GABRIEL PHOTOGRAPHY p. 610.917.8400 • phoenixvillefoundry.com JEWISHEXPONENT.COM is create a unique hashtag for use on social media channels such as Twitter or Instagram, and inform your guests to utilize it. Th at way you can also track the great photos they’ll capture, too. WedPics Award-Winning Klezmer Music Music For All Occasions (610) 389-6036 www.phillyklezmer.com susan@susanwattsonline.com Fantasy Realized Bar and Bat Mitzvah parties are more engaging than ever. One hot trend in this department include TV-show themes – think Walking Dead or Game of Th rones, accord- ing to party planner Marla Mace, whose company, Party Poopers, Susan Watts YOU AND YOUR GUESTS CAN ENJOY ELEGANT KOSHER, PARVE, GLUTEN-FREE, ALLERGEN-FREE “CUSTOM” SPECIAL OCCASION CAKES FOR ANY SIMCHA • Customized Novelties • Beautiful Cupcake Displays 234 Holland Road Southampton, PA Under Orthodox Rabbinical Supervision 267.288.5080 Elaine Hoffman Watts www.glutenfreesweetmegan.com HY PAUL STUDIO Who doesn’t remember Pepsi shaking up Super Bowl XLVII with its crowdsourcing campaign that invited fans to upload a photo of themselves recreating a daily pose by Beyonce?  Th e photos were all in one place where anyone and every- one could view them. Th is technol- ogy isn’t just limited to a big corpo- rate marketing gimmick; it’s here for everybody. WedPics is an app that brings the same crowdsourc- ing idea to wedding guests. Avail- able for the iPhone and Android Center is a big wow, a place to take visitors and kids for a dose of Philly cool. Get your own version of that wall at your party or event with the help of PSAV, a technology pro- vider with locations from Philly to L.A. and the Virgin Islands. Th ink of the wall as a large iPad, with custom videos, maps, logos, games and slide shows. Use a live feed, put guests in the spotlight in the mo- ment, and turn up the wattage on your next big shindig. A 2LifeTalent Dj gets this Bar Mitzvah party started. phones, the app allows high-def sharing between social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook or Pin- terest, and in one click, the bride (or anyone with admin rights) can download all the pictures or send them to Facebook, creating an in- stant photo book. plans elaborate Bar and Bat Mitz- vahs in New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Adventure and in- volvement are popular, she added, ranging from circus arts stations to scavenger hunt boot camp and laser tag. Karaoke, always fun, is bigger than ever these days. Turn That Cake Upside Down Long Live the Selfi e Joe Volpe heard about the hang- ing chandelier wedding cake cre- ated by Butter End Cakery for the California wedding of Big Bang Th eory star Kaley Cuoco, and he was inspired. Working with Jenni- fer Roach, Cescaphe’s award-win- ning cake artisan, Volpe added a winch to the newly renovated Ces- caphe Ballroom to ensure stability and maneuvering. Voila! A chan- delier cake done up in icing, roses and crystal swags is lowered from the ceiling. Smack-dab at the inter- section of delicious and drama, the chandelier wedding cake sure does jump-start the cutting of the cake. Do you have social media fa- tigue? Consider following the advice of the party pros at 2Life- Talent in Philly and bring on a social media concierge to manage it all for you. Th is person will be your go-to for assisting guests with hashtags, taking pictures with a designated phone throughout the night and more. Also trending: video DJs who can mix music vid- eos and live feed for a truly real- time party. Th ese visuals, when synced perfectly in line with the audio, puts technology in the spotlight to give your special day an extra wow. Interactive Video Wall Beth D’Addono is a frequesnt con- Th e video wall at the Comcast tributor to Special Sections. JEWISHEXPONENT.COM JEWISH EXPONENT APRIL 9, 2015 17 New Life, Timeless Destination ANDREAS FJELLMANN/WIKIMEDIA COMMONS What better place to begin a Jewish married life together than in Israel? By Deborah Fineblum Schabb A Don’t let your old wedding dress gather dust! I can deconstruct it and re-create it as a 6x6 foot Huppah. Or I can design and construct one with your choice of theme and colors. The sun shines on Lake Kineret in Tiberias fter Bernie and Yonah Miriam Schulman’s wed- ding in 2004, the Baltimore couple took off for their dream honeymoon—in Israel. “We couldn’t imagine being anywhere else,” Bernie says a decade later. “And with the natural beauty, the feeling of being in a Jewish country with Hebrew all around us, and the people, too, the entire experience turned out to be even more amazing than we’d imagined. We couldn’t have planned it.” As a matter of fact, they didn’t. 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Call our Certifi ed Nutrition Specialist today to learn more. www.pamedicalweightloss.com info@pamedicalweightloss.com 18 APRIL 9, 2015 Th e couple fl ew into Ben Gurion Airport, rented a car and took off , letting the trip evolve spontaneous- ly. After three weeks, they’d fl oated in two inches of water in the Dead Sea, reached the peak of Masada just as the sun was peeking over the mountain, communed with ibex at Ein Gedi and much more. In 1999, Josh Tolub and Tabitha May-Tolub took a similar newlywed journey, an adventure they can still enjoy thanks to the video camera they received as a wedding present. “We wanted to record everything we saw for my mother-in-law, who’d never been there,” says Josh. In fact, Israel is a popular hon- eymoon destination for newlyweds from all over the world. Just look online for honeymoon packages for a sampling of the off erings, ranging from back-to-nature backpacking tours to fi ve-star opulence. Traditional Jewish couples stay pretty close to home after their weddings for a week’s worth of she- va brachot (celebratory meals) with family and friends. Nevertheless, these couples often wish to take a few days away before getting down to the business of being married. Th e 10-day honeymoon of Josh Tolub and Tabitha May-Tolub in Israel also served as an introduction to Jewish life. As an initially inter- faith couple (Tabitha has long since converted to Judaism), they shared the transformative experience of enjoying the Jewish state together. “It was a wonderful place for a honeymoon,” says Josh, whose family now resides in the Boston area. “It was a true emotional high, going to the Kotel, walking around Ben Yehuda Street, eating kosher Kentucky Fried Chicken, and see- ing it all through [Tabitha’s] eyes and the wonderful emotions of her fi rst time in Israel.” SIMCHAS A new program makes it even easier for couples to experience the magic of an Israeli honeymoon. Th is spring, Honeymoon Israel is sending pilot trips of newlyweds on heavily subsidized nine-day hon- eymoons. Honeymoon Israel’s co- CEO, Avi Rubel, says the chance to honeymoon in the Jewish state is “an opportunity to take people out of their normal atmosphere and give them a Jewish experience.” However they are able to get there, opportunities abound for newly minted couples to celebrate in Israel and unwind from the wed- ding hoopla. Here is a sampling of 10: architecture, and historical and re- ligious sites. Moshe ben Maimon (aka Maimonides or the Rambam) and other giants of Jewish thought are buried here. For history buffs: Caesarea Standing in the ruins of the Hellenistic and Crusader periods — when Caesarea was a port city and, for many years, the capital of Israel — might be practically the closest thing to time travel. Caesar- ea was named for Augustus Caesar and was a gift to him from King Herod, complete with a huge port and a thriving metropolis. In addi- tion to a birds-eye view of 2,300 years of history, Caesarea also of- For art lovers and mystics: Tzfat fers such modern attractions as golf It can also be Tsfat, Zefat, Zfat, courses, deep-sea diving, live music, Safad, Safes, Safet, or Safed. But an art museum, horse racing and a however you spell it, this ancient large national park. northern city is elevated enough to command majestic views in every For nature lovers: Israel direction: from the Golan to Mt. National Trail Meron to Lebanon, Tiberias and Th e Israel National Trail invites the Kineret (Sea of Galilee). For hikers to traverse the country from couples seeking to kick off their south to north, from the Gulf of marriage on a spiritual high, Tzfat Aqaba in Eilat all the way to Dan, is also home to the mystical Jewish near the Lebanese border. Th e trail, tradition of Kabbalah. In fact, tra- which measures some 620 miles dition has it that the Messiah will and takes a decidedly scenic path come from Tzfat on his way to Je- through the country, was the cre- rusalem. Mystic Rabbi Yitzhak Lu- ation of journalist Avraham Tamir ria (1534-1572), known as Ha-Ari who, having hiked the Appalachian HaKadosh or the Arizal, is among Trail, decided Israel needed its own the greats buried in Tzfats Old national trail to show off its natu- Cemetery, and Zohar author Rabbi ral beauty. Th e trail was offi cially Shimon bar Yochai (100-160) is opened in 1995. buried in nearby Meron. For water babies: Tiberias For wine afi cionados: Zichron Ya’akov Perched on the shores of Lake Kineret, Tiberias gives honey- mooners a chance to warm up nearly year-round, in sharp contrast to the bracing air of Tzfat, a short ride to the north. Here one can en- joy water sports and a marina along the extensive waterfront, ancient You don’t need to love wine to honeymoon in Zichron Ya’akov, but it certainly helps. Blessed with the golden sunshine to facilitate grape growing, Zichron was es- tablished at the tip of the Carmel mountain range in 1882 with the help of Baron Edmond de Roth- JEWISHEXPONENT.COM AVISHAI TEICHER/PIKIWIKI ISRAEL schild, the Jewish philanthropist who supported many of Israel’s early communities. Visitors will fi nd a town rich in history (during World War I, it was home to the underground that helped the British defeat the occupying Turks), the Museum of the First Aliyah, quaint crafts shops and eateries, architectural gems and some of the fi nest winery tours in Israel. Henning’s Custom Catering Perfect For All Functions • From Private to Corporate • All Inclusive Meals • All Food Cooked on Premises by our In-house Chefs • Set Up & Service Available • Meeting & Party Room Up to 60 Guests For city slickers: Tel Aviv Tel Aviv is Israel’s undisputed economic, retail and cultural epi- center. Honeymooners will fi nd theater, a never-ending nightlife, crafts shows, architectural delights (including the world’s best speci- mens of Bauhaus architecture from the 1930s), a lively, outdoor shuk (market), live music, art galleries and some of the country’s fi nest restaurants. In addition, the pristine white Mediterranean beaches provide a dramatic contrast to the skyscrap- ers just feet away. Nearby, Old Jaff a combines old and new in a decid- edly hip and entertaining fashion. For heart specialists: Jerusalem Conquerors have fought and died for Jerusalem for thousands of years, but they never vanquished its eternal beauty and splendor. Th e Kotel (Western Wall) and its Old City neighborhood welcome some 10 million visitors a year. Other attractions include theater, music, synagogues and yeshivas, architec- tural tours, historical sites, a world- famous shuk and countless ancient sites. What’s more, getting around the city has never been easier thanks to a modern, sleek and fast light-rail system. One must-see: the Rake- Your Caterer For... vet (Hebrew for train), a popular walking and cycling path through the German Colony that has risen from the wreckage of a deserted train track. stars are dazzlingly bright to the eye. If you don’t mind sleeping on mat- tresses alongside a chorus of snor- ing strangers, there are Bedouin tents nearby to stay in at a low cost. Besides providing your own private For rest-and-relaxation light show, Mitzpe Ramon off ers seekers: the Dead Sea Jeep, bicycle and camel tours, rap- Th e lowest spot on Earth, the pelling, an array of desert animals Dead Sea may be the highest for and historical sites. honeymooners. Couples can wash away the stress of the wedding with For sun-seekers: Eilat therapeutic mud. Located roughly Head south and when you can’t 1,300 feet below sea level, the Dead go any farther without swimming, Sea is the world’s saltiest body of you’ve hit Eilat. Called the “win- water. Th e salt has eased the pain dow on the Red Sea,” Eilat is Israel’s of thousands who come annually premier resort town, complete with to take in its healing properties. But scuba diving (the coral reefs are gor- why is it called the Dead Sea? Th e geous), water skiing, world-class high salt content would kill any life bird-watching, boating and sizzling form that attempted to survive in nightlife. these waters. Th anks to its balmy climate (it rains an average of six days a For stargazers: Mitzpe Ramon year), Eilat attracts sunbathers year- Th ere’s something so roman- round. Look for a busy port and an tic about lying on your back on a under-water aquarium, along with sleeping bag and having the entire land-based activities that include Milky Way arrayed before you. rappelling on steep cliff s, desert Th is is the magic of the Ramon hikes and mountain biking. Crater at Mitzpe Ramon, where the absence of city lights means that Th is article is provided by JNS.org. CATERING FOR ALL OCCASIONS FOR OVER 50 YEARS AFFAIRS FOR ANY BUDGET CERTIFIED KOSHER CALL FOR YOUR FREE MENU AND PARTY PLANNING GUIDE 215-633-7100 888-309-3800 WWW.FOODARAMA.COM Celebr ate Photo by Laura Novak Photography. ESTER INBAR/WIKIMEDIA COMMONS Custom-create your special day with our unique event spaces, experienced event planners, and all-inclusive packages. 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