A Second Chance
to Make a
First Bat Mitzvah
MATT SILVER | JE STAFF
T he phrase adult bar or bat mitzvah, if not an apparent
contradiction in terms, reads with some incongruity. Why
would you need a bar or bat mitzvah if you’re already an adult?
In a more technical sense, how could you already be an adult
without having had a bar mitzvah? Questions like these might
twist even Maimonides’ brain into an advanced yoga pose. But,
as a practical matter, there are myriad reasons why a Jewish adult
might have not gone through the holy rite of passage as a young
man or woman. The more interesting question might be: Why
would they want one?
What motivates adults balancing jobs, kids, mortgages — what
compels them to seek this knowledge, attain this milestone that
comes with no tangible reward (one would have to think the adult
bar and bat mitzvah’s gift purse typically pales in comparison to
the 13-year-olds)?
According to Rabbi Howard Cove, now the rabbi of Beiteinu
Synagogue, who has led several bat mitzvah classes for adult
women at both Temple Sinai in Dresher and Congregation Kol
Emet in Yardley, there are several reasons, especially for Jewish
1994 Temple Sinai adult Bat Mitzvah class
women of a certain age.

For younger women, Cove suggests, women in their 40s with
kids of their own approaching bar and bat mitzvah age, what it’s
often about (at least in the beginning) is being a good role model,
modeling for their children that Jewish learning and Jewish
customs are important parts of individual life and an important
part of family life.

But for the slightly older bat mitzvah, it’s often about something
more personal.

“You have to remember that the Torah often wasn’t accessible
to girls,” said Cove, referring to women in their 60s, 70s and
beyond whom he has tutored.

See Bat Mitzvah, Page 22
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