Reunited and it Feels So Good
HILARY DANAILOVA | JE FEATURE
Kay Taub’s family gathered in 2017 at the Pearlstone Center, a Jewish retreat in the countryside outside Baltimore.

W hen Valori Zaslow was growing up in Philadelphia,
most of her family lived nearby. Now aunts and cousins
are scattered from L.A. to Detroit to Florida.

“We’re all over the place, and we don’t have an opportunity to
see each other as much as we’d like,” refl ected Zaslow, who lives in
Penn Wynne. “So we look for reasons for reunions.”
One came last March, when Zaslow’s nephew, Shalom Henesch,
was Bar Mitzvahed in Israel; Zaslow joined 26 other relatives for a
weeklong family vacation, chartering a bus to explore the Western
Wall tunnels and ogle the Dead Sea scrolls. Th ey even packed
food together to distribute to needy families for Shalom’s mitz-
vah project.

“If we weren’t close as a family before, we certainly are now,
aft er climbing Masada together,” laughed Zaslow, who has
planned dozens of B’nai Mitzvahs through her fi rm, ReEvent in
Bala Cynwyd. “It’s wonderful to be in Israel for Shabbos, coming
together as a Jewish family in the Jewish homeland.”
Th ere are no hard statistics on the topic, but anecdotal evidence
suggests that Jewish clans are more likely to gather around an event,
holiday or milestone. Stories abound of 40-relative entourages to
Israel, Passover getaways with dozens of cousins, and three- or
four-generation cruises for 50th anniversaries or 90th birthdays.

“Everyone’s busy, but when something big takes place, that
brings everyone together,” Zaslow observed.

Bree Tomar, an executive planner at Philadelphia-based All
About Events, handles a lot of requests for multiday reunions built
around an occasion.

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PHOTOS PROVIDED
“I defi nitely notice people planning three or four days of
pre-wedding events, so the family members can get a chance to
spend more time together,” she said. “For a lot of families nowa-
days, milestone events like a wedding or a Bar Mitzvah is the only
time they’ll get to see each other.”
Outside of a formal occasion, however, most families plan their
own get-togethers, designating one or two organizers to coordi-
nate place, date and activities. (Experts advise starting a year in
advance). Sometimes the organizer also sponsors the event — typ-
ically a grandparent — but parties commonly pay their own way,
especially at larger gatherings.

Tomar’s father always dreamed of taking his extended, blended
family on a Caribbean cruise, and this year, he fi nally did it.

“I hadn’t seen my stepbrothers in about fi ve years; our kids had
never met their kids,” the planner recalled. “Suddenly, we’re all
shacked up on a boat for fi ve days together.”
Amid families in matching T-shirts, the clan soon found out
why cruises are so popular for reunions — a prepaid cocoon of
entertainment, ready-made meals and just the right balance of
privacy and proximity. “It just seemed like a very natural way for
us to all hang out together,” Tomar said. Her 8-year-old nephews
became best friends, holding sleepovers in each other’s bunks;
their parents took turns fussing over Tomar’s toddler.

Everybody had such a good time that the clan is now planning
a follow-up reunion next summer, renting a beach house on the
Outer Banks of North Carolina. Th e biggest proof of success?
“Next year, we’re all paying for it ourselves,” Tomar said.

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Kay Taub’s relatives
Kids make a family tree inside a bottle cap.

Many families turn to Jewish resorts for kosher catering and
prayer infrastructure. At the Isabella Freedman Jewish Retreat
Center in Falls Village, Conn., “you could have an Orthodox rabbi
in your family and somebody who might not be Jewish, and they’d
all feel comfortable on our site,” said Simone Stallman, who coor-
dinates family reunions at the wooded campus an hour north of
New York City.

The Freedman Center is run by Hazon, a pluralistic organi-
zation that promotes sustainable Jewish communities; among its
draws are an organic farm, synagogue and central Berkshires loca-
tion. Stallman said the typical family reunion involves 30 to 65
relatives from around the Northeast who pay an affordable $155
per night, double occupancy, for lodging and three kosher meals
(the center provides ceremonial wine, but has no liquor license;
pool use requires a $25-per-hour lifeguard).

Family gatherings at the Bushkill Inn, a Poconos resort with a
kosher kitchen, “are usually around a holiday or milestone,” said
Ron Vogel, director of sales. “We’ll have 30 relatives reserve one
part of the sukkah for Sukkot.” Observant families appreciate that
the spa has separate facilities for male and female massage, as well
as activities everybody can enjoy — archery, lake fishing, paintball
— and glatt kosher food supervised by an on-site mashgiach.

When Kay Taub of Silver Spring, Md., began organizing a
reunion of her newly acquainted grandfather’s relatives, she knew
it would involve a concert.

“I’d reach out, and they’d all tell me about their musical kids,”
See Reunions, Page 16
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OCTOBER 25, 2018
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