Wedding
Continued from Page 23
The typical schmoozefest of cocktail hour was time for all the
whole new life path, she’s still the same person. So there was no
ladies to approach the bride, who sits next to her mother, grand-
shame in asking questions — how else do you learn?
mothers and mother-in-law to receive a bracha, a blessing.

I had no feeling of embarrassment asking, “What does this prayer
This can be a lot of new information to take in, so I learned that
mean?,” “Why are we standing?” or “Why are we taking shots of
it’s important to be respectful, but still embrace the moment for
whiskey at lunchtime?”
what it is — a wedding, after all!
My friend now goes by her Hebrew name, which wasn’t exactly
That doesn’t mean you should reach out to the groom for a big
the easiest change for her family and older friends to embrace.

bear hug or expect any shrimp cocktails at happy hour; be aware of
But even with all the changes, not much has changed at all.

your surroundings, like how men
We danced like our old ram-
and women dance separately dur-
bunctious selves. We laughed at
With all the excitement, the dancing
ing the reception, for instance.

the stupidest old jokes (some of
And when it comes to the
which were truly never funny).

was more like jumping in a mosh pit
dancing, it really all goes back to
We cried with joy that this mo-
at a rock concert, which is not
tradition (how many Fiddler on
ment that we’d talked about for
the Roof references can I make?).

so long — usually while watching
an easy task in heels.

With all the excitement, the
TLC’s Say Yes to the Dress — had
dancing was more like jumping
actually come and gone.

in a mosh pit at a rock concert, which is not an easy task in heels.

I discussed this all at length with many of her family members
On the men’s side, the groom’s friends are supposed to “entertain”
— that although she may have a new outlook on life, a new name,
the couple through wacky synchronized dance moves (also thankful
a new man, she’s still the same person.

I got out of this one).

Case in point: I learned that in the yichud room, in that first private
After the wedding, I spent Shabbat with my friend and her family,
moment that husband and wife can share alone together, they decided
among others. We have celebrated Shabbat together before, so I re-
to joyously feast on the kosher orange chicken that was left over from
membered a few traditions or customs when it comes to prayer, like
cocktail hour, which they raved about for the rest of the night.

not speaking after the washing of the hands until you break bread.

Some things never change. ■
For some other attendees, the information was less straightforward.

Contact: rkurland@jewishexponent.com; 215-832-0737
But I had to remember that although my friend was following a
24 OCTOBER 27, 2016
SIMCHAS JEWISHEXPONENT.COM




Mother of f the Groom
Tells All
ELLEN TILMAN | JE FEATURE
W When my son announced that he was planning to ask his girlfriend to become his wife, my
husband and I were ecstatic. We had waited a long time for this moment and quickly made
arrangements to join the couple for the formal engagement.

Upon sharing my happiness with friends whose children had long been married, I saw sly
smiles and heard knowing guffaws — “you are going to be the Mother of the Groom. Just wait.”
They provided advice: Don’t expect to be involved in the wedding planning. Your job is to
wear beige and say yes to everything. Just smile and write checks. You can’t have any opinions.

They told me wedding horror tales, too.

One groom-to-be had only one request for the wedding: kosher food so his family could
eat. The mother of the bride quickly replied that she had already signed a contract with her
desired venue and that kosher catering was not an option. The groom’s family and other
friends ate packaged kosher airline food.

See Mother, Page 26
JEWISHEXPONENT.COM SIMCHAS
OCTOBER 27, 2016
25