More Meaningful by Selecting Jewish Recipients
By Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin
“HEY, RABBI,” THE BAT MITZVAH
one else will step up to that worthy
candidate said, “can I tell you about
plate. The same is true with the local
my mitzvah project? I’m raising
museum and symphony orchestra.

money to help people join our syn-
But if we don’t teach our kids how to
agogue if they can’t afford it.”
give Jewishly, they will never learn. No
I was impressed. And moved.

one else will step up for them and those
And shocked.

Jewish causes will go unsupported. Even-
Why shocked?
tually, they will die.

Many religious schools require
If even one generation of Jewish
that Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidates do
kids fails to learn how to support the
a mitzvah project. Once upon a time,
Jewish community, the Jewish people
those projects were all Jewish in na-
and Israel, Jewish giving will be over.

ture. Families would plant trees in Is-
Because Jewish giving, like any kind of
rael in honor of their guests or display
moral engagement, is a muscle. If you
material from local Jewish organiza-
don’t develop the muscle, it atrophies.

tions on the tables at the celebration.

So what can Jewish parents do to
Kids would donate some of their gift
make sure they are keeping the chain
money to local Jewish federations.

of Jewish giving intact?
For a while, Bar and Bat Mitzvah
First, teach your kids about local
candidates would symbolically share
Jewish needs, causes and organiza-
their ceremonies with Soviet Jewish
tions. Talk to them about the work
refuseniks who were forbidden from
of federations, community centers,
One way to make sure your mitzvah project is en pointe: Have it
studying Judaism.

Jewish family and career services.

benefit the Israel Ballet.

But such specifically Jewish
Take them to see what those organi-
projects have gone the way of the
zations are really doing. Talk to them
VHS tape and the pet rock — hopelessly passé.

about projects in Israel. Teach them about what Jewish organizations
Over the last decade, mitzvah projects have become decreas-
are doing all over the world. Make it real for them.

ingly Jewish in their focus and intent. Mitzvah projects are far
Second, link your child’s interests to Jewish causes.

more likely to be focused on healing disease, or addressing en-
Your kid likes baseball? There’s JChoice.org, a group that provides
vironmental concerns, or raising money for disadvantaged kids.

baseball equipment and supplies to kids in low-income areas.

In fact, my young friend’s idea to help subsidize synagogue dues
Dance? Give to The Israel Ballet.

for the less fortunate was the only specifically Jewish mitzvah project
Horses? Try the Israel National Therapeutic Riding Association,
I had seen in years.

which uses horseback riding to help people coping with disability
I am all in favor of kids wanting to give to the wider commu-
or injury.

nity. Most adults and teachers would probably agree with me:
There are other opportunities like these, many of them contained
Any kind of altruism — anything that carries kids out of their
in The Mitzvah Project Book, by Liz Suneby and Diane Heiman.

iPhone, selfie-addled worlds — is good. But the flight from
(Full disclosure: I wrote the foreword.)
specifically Jewish concerns has its own set of worrisome im-
Third, if you cannot find anything Jewish that interests your
plications. child, convert your child’s interest to a Jewish value. Give that value
First, it accompanies a gradual diminishment in Jewish ethnic
a Hebrew name.

feeling and connection — a diminishment that is part of larger trends
Your child wants to raise money for a specific disease? Fine. Wel-
within the American Jewish community.

come to the world of refuah — “healing.”
When I have mentioned the importance of particularistic Jew-
Your child wants people to donate to help flood victims? Great.

ish giving to parents, I get deer-in-headlights stares, as if parents
It’s called tikkun olam — “repairing the world.”
find the very idea of giving to Jewish causes to be an embarrass-
Your kid cares about animal welfare? Fantastic. Thanks for sup-
ment — too Jewish, too tribal. It is as if I am speaking a foreign
porting tzaar baalei chayim —avoiding cruelty to animals.”
language, which, in fact, I am: a language of Jewish peoplehood.

Sure, tikkun olam is great. But tikkun ha’am — “repairing the Jewish
Second, I find myself reminding Jewish parents of the deeper
people” — is just as important. We do that when we connect our values
ramifications of their kids’ choices. Here is what I say:
to our people and to our sense of what we believe. l
I know that your kids are going to want to give to various uni-
Jeffrey K. Salkin is the rabbi of Temple Solel in Hollywood, Fla., and the author
versal, communal and non-Jewish charities. We want to be helpful
of Putting God on the Guest List: How to Reclaim the Spiritual Meaning of
and to make a difference. That is what being Jewish is all about.

Your Child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah. This article first appeared on JTA.org.

But here’s the deal. If your child doesn’t give to the United Way, some-
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OCTOBER 29, 2015
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