Wedding
Continued from Page 23
and what they want out of life. If they are Orthodox, the bride will
also meet with a rebbetzin to help her prepare for the mikvah, which
she goes to the night before the wedding for purification purposes.

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610.649.1100 Yanoff said he explains traditions to the couple and no matter
how religious they are, “they should have ownership” of the customs
they want to perform at the wedding. One he often suggests is having
the parents wrap the bride and groom in a tallit, which represents
unity. Some unique customs that brides and grooms have explored in-
clude pouring sand into a container, which symbolizes their lives
coming together. Another bride and groom made a wax drawing of
each other and a third wedding involved a couple using spray paint.

“Each couple is unique and each couple can draw on the rituals
that exist,” Yanoff said.

Wechterman, who also performs same-sex and interfaith mar-
riages, said a wedding is a wedding regardless of the people involved.

Like her fellow rabbis, she meets with couples several times and as-
sists them on their journey to marriage.

“Practicing and preparing for a wedding are both helpful in guid-
ing the conversation with what they want their marriage to look
like,” she said. “Throughout the process, we design a ceremony that
makes sense for that couple.”
She said in an interfaith marriage, she will use more English and the
non-Jewish person might say a vow to the other person. Unlike Ortho-
dox weddings, Wechterman said many couples have chosen to have
seven friends or family members write the sheva b’rachot.

In addition to the bride and groom circling each other three times
and once together, Wechterman often asks children related to the
couple to participate.

“I find the circling tradition is a great way to include children,”
she said.

Wechterman said she is always open to rituals from other cultures.

When she did a wedding between a woman and an African-Amer-
ican man, they jumped over a broom because that was part of his
family’s heritage. Another wedding involved a person of Chinese
descent, so they read Chinese blessings.

“In participating,” she explained, “I get invited into their intimate
lives and their true feelings and help them articulate often what they
feel and can’t always articulate.” l
Contact: jcohen@jewishexponent.com; 215-832-0747
24 OCTOBER 29, 2015
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