O pinion
Let people define who they
are for themselves, including
how they want to be identified,
if at all. Some people prefer the
term “survivor” over “victim,”
whether they are currently in
the unwelcome situation or
not. It should be up to the
person impacted to define their
own relationship to the abuse
they experienced.

If a trusted member of the
clergy or another key figure
in your community is named
as a sexual abuser, or if an
institution that you trusted has
been complicit in great harm,
it is absolutely natural to feel a
sense of betrayal, anger, confu-
sion, hurt or a range of other
emotions. Feel them. Make
space for them.

Keep your eye on what
happens next. The true test of
an institution that participates
in harm is whether and how
well it takes responsibility. If
you’re a stakeholder, can you be
part of the project of holding
your synagogue, camp or
other organization to account-
ability by making sure that it
follows best practices? Some
support for the perpetrator.

As we learn and process, we
must hold institutions account-
able and keep the accountability
bar high. This is how we put
the value of “believing survi-
vors” into action and make it
possible for them to turn, or
return, to their community for
solace and support.

Some claim that holding
those who cause harm
accountable is tantamount to
exiling them forever, without
any chance of returning to
connection or community. On
the contrary, there is a path
back, but for the sake of those
harmed — and to prevent
future harm — we must make
sure that we are rigorous in
pursuing accountability. The
work of repentance in the
Jewish tradition includes steps
of public ownership of harm,
beginning to do the work —
deep work, hard work — to
change, make amends, apolo-
gize and, ultimately, to make
different choices moving
forward. In this formulation,
only those harmed can make
decisions about forgiveness.

As we learn and process, we must hold
institutions accountable and keep the
accountability bar high. This is how we put the
value of “believing survivors” into action.

of these may include, but are
not limited to, conducting a
thorough and impartial inves-
tigation; allowing survivors
access to the investigation
report; making funding for
victims’ therapy or other
mental health needs avail-
able; and making a statement
that you believe the survivor,
are grateful for them coming
forward and will be following
up on their claim. Push your
organization toward tangible
actions and concrete measures
of accountability. Remember
that others are watching and if
the institution remains silent,
even if there is a legal situation,
that silence is easily taken as
JEWISHEXPONENT.COM Think about what and how
you share. Journalists have an
essential role to play in sharing
these necessary stories exposing
abuse, and they are increasingly
learning how to do so without
retraumatizing survivors. Still,
as individuals and communi-
ties learn to better respond to
abuse, remember that many
media outlets are catching up
on best practices on reporting
about sexual abuse. The onus
is on all of us to be thoughtful
about how we take in or share
the news.

Look at the language used
in news stories you are consid-
ering amplifying. The choice
to say that someone is an
“alleged” abuser sows seeds of
suspicion in the person who
came forward; stating that a
report of misconduct or abuse
was made is similarly factual
from the perspective of journal-
istic accounts, but the reader
perceives it as less questionable.

Where have the journalists
focused their spotlight — do
they invest their energies on
humanizing perpetrators or on
centering the stories and experi-
ences of victims and survivors?
Too often, we see so many
through headlines and photo
choices, through anecdotes and
story hooks.

Similarly, sexual harass-
ment, sexual misconduct and
sexual assault are not the
same things and should not
be used interchangeably. The
correct term should always be
used — but often it is not.

Sexual misconduct is a broad
catchall term for unwelcome
behavior of a sexual nature
that is committed without
consent or by force, intimida-
tion, coercion or manipulation
— it may be illegal, it may
not be. Sexual assault involves
sexually touching another
person without consent, or the
use of coercion or force, and
sexual harassment includes a
range of actions from verbal
transgressions to physical
advances and is illegal in most
contexts. As you engage in the
conversation, you might feel
compelled to share articles on
social media. Many of these
articles will include images
of the perpetrator, which can
be triggering for the victims.

Consider sharing the article,
but not the picture — it’s
possible to click away the photo
before posting. Select a picture
that says “Believe survivors”
or something of the sort to go
with your post. This can be
a way to show your support,
center victims and help reduce
trauma for those most affected.

Consider the survivors and
victims whose stories aren’t
yet known. Although anyone
can be a victim, regardless of
JEWISH EXPONENT
gender, sexual abuse dispro-
portionately impacts women,
LGBTQ folks, people with
disabilities and people from
low-income backgrounds. We
must acknowledge that this is
not random. Perpetrators tend
to prey on people who are less
likely to be believed. Black
women report experiencing
workplace sexual harassment
at three times the rate of white
women. Moreover, half of all
Black transgender women are
survivors of sexual violence
and two-thirds of Black trans-
gender people said they would
be uncomfortable asking the
police for help.

As we prepare for other
potential revelations of abuse
within the Jewish commu-
nity and in other spaces, we
must continue to focus on the
needs of survivors and victims,
whether they choose to come
forward publicly or not. Each
of us must take action — from
our unique vantages, roles,
positions and experiences —
to insist on accountability,
to work for systemic change
toward equity, transparency,
safety and justice, and to
ensure a future without harass-
ment, assault or abuse.

Repair is possible, but it
must be survivor-centric at
every turn. l
Sheila Katz is the CEO of the
National Council of Jewish Women,
the 125-year-old progressive
feminist nonprofit. Rabbi Danya
Ruttenberg is the scholar-in-
residence at the National Council
of Jewish Women and the author of
multiple books about Judaism.

KVETCH ’N’ KVELL
Why, Thank You
SHALOM. I HAVE READ some issues of your newspaper which
came to me via a neighbor with a daughter in Philadelphia. I
found several articles, particularly on Israel, informative and
interesting. The Torah portions are always relevant and on
target. Thank you for such good journalism at this time. It is
appreciated. Shana Tova Umetuka to you and your readers. Be safe.

Livia Shagam, Monroe Township, New Jersey
True Philadelphia Treasure
You recently wrote an article (“Doctor Takes on Vital Role
During COVID Crisis,” Aug. 12) about the outstanding job Dr.

Steven Sivak and Einstein Hospital on North Broad Street have
done dispensing the COVID-19 vaccines.

The article stressed his age at 68 years. His 68 is the new 38.

My family and I are blessed to be Sivak’s patients, as were my late
parents — he has treated four generations of us. Not only is he
a one-in-a-million doctor and human being, he is humble and
treats everyone with respect — answering emails and texts at
all hours. Moreover, Einstein is filled with great doctors. A true
Philadelphia treasure. l
Lynne Lechter | King of Prussia
STATEMENT FROM THE PUBLISHER
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not necessarily reflect the views of the officers and boards of the Jewish Publishing
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letters to letters@jewishexponent.com or fax to 215-569-3389. Letters should be a
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published. SEPTEMBER 2, 2021
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