YOU SHOULD KNOW ...

Lori Salkin
HEATHER M. ROSS | STAFF WRITER
Courtesy of Lori Salkin
M atchmaking isn’t always a straightforward process. Setting
up two people who share the same values is a full-time
job, as professional matchmaker Lori Salkin knows well.

Salkin, 40, is a relationship expert, dating coach and senior match-
maker at SawYouAtSinai.com and YUConnects.com and has been for
more than 10 years.

Her first match was struck in college when she set up her brother
with her roommate. Since then, Salkin has been responsible for 55
marriages. Matchmaking takes up most of Salkin’s day and some of her nights,
but she still manages to find plenty of time to spend with her family
and invest in her community. She serves on the board of directors
at Kohelet Yeshiva and the Union Fire
Association in Bala Cynwyd.

“I don’t sleep much. I don’t have
much free time. I tend to work until
midnight or 1 a.m. every day. I don’t
have time to watch TV anymore,”
Salkin said.

But matchmaking is her passion,
and the successes make everything
worth it.

“I enjoy what I do. It’s very, very
fulfilling to know how many couples
I’ve brought together. These people
become your family — you hold them
when they cry, celebrate with them,”
Salkin said.

Since the start of the pandemic,
many have turned to dating apps to
find companionship. While nearly half
of all U.S. adults have used a dating
site or app, only 12% reported being in
a committed relationship or marriage
with someone they met through a dat-
ing app, according to a 2020 survey by
Pew Research Center.

“Everybody was in a complete state
of panic that they wouldn’t meet some-
body. The opportunities were so dimin-
ished with everybody in lockdown,”
Salkin said.

According to Salkin, a major differ-
ence between traditional matchmaking
and apps is that most dating profiles
read like a list of facts: how tall some-
one is, how old they are, what they like
to do and where they’re from.

Salkin said those bios lack personal-
ity, and that the best way to get to know
someone is to talk to them.

“Matchmaking is more personal: It
tells you about their heart, their soul
and their strengths,” she said.

That’s not the only gap in dating
apps, according to Salkin.

“In-person meetings really make the
difference,” she said, “You learn a lot
more about them and get a real sense
of who they are.”
For Salkin, the process starts
when she reads a client’s profile on
SawYouAtSinai.com. She then calls
them and gets to know them. Those
initial conversations typically revolve
around their personality, past relation-
ships and the reason they’ve sought out
a matchmaker or dating coach.

She also spends a lot of time talking
with parents.

“Your parents know you best. They’ve
known you your whole life; they have
information I may not have,” Salkin
said. Talking to parents helps Salkin get
a better idea of values and desires her
clients have.

“I think about shared values. We each
have a set of values. People talk about
the common background or common
interests, but it’s not the shared back-
grounds; it’s the shared values that
people mix up with backgrounds,”
she said.

When it comes to love, there’s a
lot to learn from older generations,
Salkin said.

“The way our parents did it and our
grandparents did it was right. Sit down
face to face and get to know somebody
without going through all their social
media. The way to meet someone is to
talk to them, not Google search them,”
she said.

Salkin found love that way at Boston
University. She was selling tickets
for an event, and her future husband
bought one from her. The next day,
he sent her a message via the student
portal and asked her to go for coffee.

Salkin wasn’t quite sure who he was,
as she had sold a lot of tickets that day,
but she was willing to give it a chance.

Salkin arrived early to their
would-be date, and so did he. But when
he arrived, Salkin had second thoughts
and stood him up at the last minute.

A day later, he messaged her, and they
ended up rescheduling and going on
several more dates.

During one date, they were walking
Salkin’s family dog when it hit her.

“Something clicked in my brain. I
realized I like this guy. I got all ner-
vous. What am I wearing? Why am I
holding a dog?” she said.

Now, they’ve been married for 17
years and have four children.

Salkin shared some wisdom about
what you can look forward to in a last-
ing partnership and how it gets better
with time.

“When it comes to true love, to
engagement, to the wedding night,
your love continues to grow and get
deeper and deeper,” Salkin said. JE
hross@midatlanticmedia.com JEWISHEXPONENT.COM
11