T orah P ortion
Seeing Ourselves in the Other
BY RABBI JASON BONDER
Parshat Vayera
IN THIS WEEK’S Torah
portion, we find Abraham
sitting at the opening of his tent.

When he spots strangers in the
distance, he displays the hospi-
tality for which our tradition
lauds him. Abraham rushes
to greet them and offers them
food, drink and more.

I often refer to this story
when I officiate weddings
because the open sides of the
chuppah — the canopy under
which a couple stands — can
remind us of Abraham and
Sarah’s tent. Tradition tells us
that their tent was open on all
sides, so that if strangers were
passing by in any direction,
Abraham and Sarah could see
them and welcome them in.

Like the paths open to the
three wanderers in the story,
the paths of what to talk about
from this week’s portion are
numerous. We could focus
on the identity of the angels.

There is wordplay to make us
wonder if they are men, angels
or perhaps the Almighty in
the crew of travelers. Another
element ripe for interpretation
is the message that these guests
bring — that Abraham and Sara
would have a son. This news
is filled with beautiful insights
and inspiration about infertility
and parenthood.

All of these potential roads
of interpretation, however, lead
into the future — into the time
after Abraham’s encounter with
the strangers. Instead, I want to
turn around and look at the path
already traveled. It is important
to remember where Abraham
and Sarah came from if we want
to fully appreciate their hospi-
tality in the Torah portion.

Why does Abraham rush to
greet the strangers? The Torah
shows us that Abraham was
able to see himself in these
wanderers and so he was
more inclined to help. This
portion, Vayera, is asking us to
remember last week’s portion,
Lech Lecha, and the fact that
Abraham and Sarah, too, were
travelers. They, too, knew what
it was like to make an arduous
journey. This idea that Abraham saw
himself in these travelers sets
the stage for a Jewish value
that we will see repeatedly in
our journey through Torah —
the imperative to be kind to
the stranger because we were
once strangers in Egypt. Just
as Abraham saw himself in the
experiences of others, we are
asked to see ourselves and our
Jewish story in the other as well.

Another Jewish value that
propels Abraham’s rush to help
the strangers is the idea that we
are created in the image of God.

The Torah playfully makes us
wonder, over many verses, who
these people are that Abraham
rushes to greet, and if they are
mortal or divine. If it is true
that Abraham rushes out there
because he sees himself in them,
then the fact that Abraham sees
himself in the faces of Divine
beings helps to echo the idea
that we, humanity, are created
in the image of God.

This idea that Abraham was
spurred to action because of his
CAN DL E L IGHTIN G
Oct. 22
Oct. 29
ability to see himself in another,
is very much influenced by an
experience in my life. I am
writing these words for this
week’s dvar Torah from the
airport in Phoenix. I am here
because I will have the honor
of co-officiating at the funeral
of a dear teacher and colleague
of mine, Rabbi Barton Lee, z”l.

My first job after rabbinical
school was in Tempe, Arizona,
and within a few weeks of
starting, Lee, the emeritus rabbi
at Arizona State Hillel, reached
out to me. He invited me to his
home. He invited me to study
with him. And we developed a
wonderful friendship.

During my three years in the
desert, I can likely count on one
hand the times when he was not
waiting at the opening of his
“tent,” eagerly waiting to greet
me and welcome me into his
home. Lee and his wife Marcie’s
hospitality was like the hospi-
tality of Abraham and Sarah.

They always made me feel like
an honored guest.

Four or so decades before I
arrived in Tempe to start my
5:53 p.m.

5:44 p.m.

rabbinic career, Lee arrived in
Arizona to start his. I imagine
that when I arrived, he recog-
nized that my family and I were
experiencing our “Lech Lecha”
moment. And it spurred him to
reach out.

Rabbi Barton Lee, like
Abraham and Sarah, was able
to recognize a shared experi-
ence with others. I am a better
rabbi, and person, thanks to
him and his hospitality. Each
time I read of Abraham rushing
to greet those strangers, I will
surely think of Lee. l
Rabbi Jason Bonder is the
associate rabbi at Congregation
Beth Or in Maple Glen. The Board
of Rabbis of Greater Philadelphia
is proud to provide diverse
perspectives on Torah commentary
for the Jewish Exponent. The
opinions expressed in this column
are the author’s own and do not
reflect the view of the Board of
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