T orah P ortion
Making the Most of Sukkot
BY RABBI BARRY DOV LERNER
Sukkot THESE ARE TOUGH TIMES
for everyone. Only two weeks
ago, we recited “who shall live
and who shall die.” This year
we really feel our vulnerability
to those awful propositions:
“Who shall live and who shall
die” and “who by fire” in the
West, “who by storm and
water” in our South and “who
by pandemic” in all 50 states.

In this time of COVID-19,
this liturgy asks us to examine
our lives, just as it often can cause
depression, anxiety for the future
and uncertainty for our future.

Why then is Sukkot so
problematic? We began with Rosh
Hashanah, defined in our liturgy
as a “Day of Remembrance” and
then Yom Kippur labeled as a
“Day of Judgment.” But Sukkot
is called zeman simchateinu, a
“Day of Joy.”
To be honest, how joyful do
we all feel right now, hunkering
down at home, afraid — or at
least cautious — about doing
anything in a public setting?
Other than joyful gratitude
for survival in a pandemic, we
are still apprehensive about the
future. We have already lost
200,000 American lives.

Why should we be so joyful
now, virtually locked out of the
synagogue for Sukkot? How
can we regain peace of mind
or emotional equilibrium when
too many Americans refuse to
agree to the minimal disciplines
Oak Hill
Continued from Page 6
before moving to an apartment
complex in King of Prussia,
which she found through her
insurance company.

She has been frustrated
by communication from the
building management and condo
board, which she described as
unhelpful and inconsistent.

JEWISHEXPONENT.COM CAN DL E L IGHTIN G
Oct. 2
Oct. 9
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6:11 p.m.

of masking, social distancing
and washing our hands just to
avoid losing our lives?
We all feel this need for
delivery from our loneliness and
the rigor of medically directed
separation from others.

How does Sukkot follow with
any promise of relief? How can
we focus on the now and find
moments of joy and positive
peace of mind in Sukkot?
In short, when one is
unhappy, even depressed —
how can we lift up our spirits
and relieve our apprehension
about tomorrow and the days
to come? Is there a path away
from the uncertainty about the
future and to find our way back
to optimism and confidence?
My suggestion is to find
renewed enthusiasm for life in
a “nachas box.” Create a nachas
box — a repository for cards,
notes, emails and expressions
of gratitude we receive for what
we have done for others. An
additional definition includes
pride for our children and for
others, and what they have
achieved. Creating a nachas box was
a suggestion from a colleague
decades ago. He said there
will be days when you will be
challenged for your decisions
and choices — anxious and
depressed perhaps. At that
moment, take out your nachas
box and review the notes and
letters you received describing
the impact you had in their
lives. It will not take long. You
will be uplifted.

I created my nachas box
decades ago. Well, really,
it was a large file folder, and
then a second file. Today, you
might create it digitally. But
the impact will be the same:
You open it up, read and
smile, recalling the moment,
the people and the memories.

You are worthwhile; you are
meaningful in the lives of
friends and family.

How then does this relate
to Sukkot? I must be personal:
Our sukkah is also a nachas
box, which renews my feelings
of pride, meaning and hope.

As a family, before there
were children, my wife Barbara
and I built a sukkah. Two were
memorable and we talked
about our first experiments.

We built one for the High
Holidays in Great Neck and
brought out Rabbi Mordecai
Waxman to appreciate it.

With me was the committee
youth chairman, and together
we watched the vertical cube
slowly become a parallelogram
with decreasing internal angles
until it was a pile of two-by-
fours on the ground. We had
designed the first self-folding
sukkah, and the chairman
went on to become an architect
in San Francisco.

Our first home sukkah was
so strong and remained vertical
that it survived snowstorms
into the winter. This leads to a
question: What is the name of
the day on which the Sukkah is
taken down? Chanukah.

Over the years, our children
helped decorate the sukkah,
and we still put up their
creations — except for those
we gifted to them. We also
remember the decorations we
no longer can use. There was a
year when, to surprise Barbara,
who complained about the
weather, I installed a window
in one wall with a sliding storm
panel that could be closed.

I bought a chandelier with
candle-like bulbs, and when
she came into the sukkah, I
hit the switch. Unfortunately,
weather and years took their
toll, and we just remember the
surprise moment and laughter.

In recent years, we even
had high school students from
Cheltenham High School come
to our sukkah to eat their
lunch. Not this year.

The annual purchase of a
lulav and etrog set led to holding
on to one of the etrogim; drying
it and saving it marked with the
Hebrew year, while the other
etrogim we purchased were
turned into etrog liqueur which
we could serve to sukkah guests.

Since I made it with potato
vodka, it was also kosher for
Passover, linking our holidays.

You get it now. Sukkot for
the Lerner family is a living,
breathing nachas box, and it
offers us joy and happiness in
moments recalled from the
past 55 years.

The nachas memories
remind you to forget that you
have been productive, a positive
force in the lives of congre-
gants, community and family.

Above all, you are grateful for
the kindness of others who took
the time and effort to express
their gratitude to you.

And Sukkot is a natural,
annual nachas box. One can sit
in the sukkah as a moment of
balancing the past as an antidote
for worry about the future.

To conclude, Rabbi Lord
Jonathan Sacks of the United
Kingdom wrote: “Happiness is
an attitude to life, while joy lives
in the moment. Happiness is
something you pursue. But joy
is not. It discovers you. It has to
do with a sense of connection
to other people or to God. It
comes from a different realm
than happiness. It is a social
emotion. It is the exhilaration we
feel when we merge with others.”
This year we may be at
home. Find joy in Sukkot this
year as the beginning of your
nachas box. We can really say:
Chag Sameach and next year in
your own sukkah. l
Rayfield is heartbroken by
the loss of her home, which
she bought with her retirement
savings and renovated 11 years
ago. She is still pained by the
injuries she sustained when
she collapsed in a smoke-filled
hallway and had to be rescued
by firefighters.

“My eyes were bright blood
red for two weeks. It was killing
me to even squint. My throat, I
couldn’t even talk, it was so
burned,” she said.

Her esophagus and vocal
cords were damaged by smoke
inhalation. Her rescuers had to
drag her down a flight of stairs
to get her out of the building,
and the impact aggravated her
arthritis, especially in her hips.

“Now I’m in a lot of pain
when I walk,” she said. “I’m
80 years old. So, you know, it’s
really left its mark on me.”
She has suffered from acute
vertigo for several weeks,
which makes any movement
difficult. She also has night-
mares about being trapped in
the hallway, unable to find the
exit. She is going to physical
therapy for her injuries and
speaking with a clinical social
worker about the upheaval she
has experienced.

She is not sure when she will
be able to return to Oak Hill,
but she expects it will not be
until 2021.

“I feel like I don’t have control
over anything anymore,” she
said. “I’m praying that my
insurance will cover it all. You
know, it’s scary.” l
JEWISH EXPONENT
Rabbi Barry Dov Lerner is the editor
and president of JewishFreeware.org
and president and rav hamakhshir
of Traditional Kosher Supervision
LLC. The Board of Rabbis of
Greater Philadelphia is proud to
provide diverse perspectives on
Torah commentary for the Jewish
Exponent. The opinions expressed in
this column are the author’s own and
do not reflect the view of the Board
of Rabbis.

spanzer@jewishexponent.com; 215-832-0729
OCTOBER 1, 2020
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