d’var torah
Longing for Home
BY RABBI JASON BONDER
Parshat Chayei Sarah
A t the very beginning of this
week’s portion, Sarah dies.

In search of a burial place for
her, Abraham spoke with the Hittites,
among them Ephron the Hittite, who
owned the Cave of Machpelah.

When Abraham spoke with the
Hittites, he did not begin by telling them
that he was brokenhearted. Nor did
Abraham tell them about his wife and
the life that she lived. Rather, Abraham
opened by telling the Hittites that he
was not one of them. Abraham made it
clear that he was diff erent — and from a
diff erent place. He said, “I am a resident
alien among you.” (Genesis 23:5)
Just a bit later in this portion, it came
time for Abraham to fi nd his son, Isaac,
a wife. At fi rst, Abraham did not seem
immediately concerned about fi nding
Isaac the perfect match. Nor did he
seem terribly concerned about many
of the other typical characteristics in
fi nding a wife for his son. Rather, in
Abraham’s mind, the key priority over
all the rest was the hometown of Isaac’s
future bride.

Abraham made his servant swear that
he would not fi nd a Canaanite woman
for Isaac. Rather, he would go back to
the land of Abraham’s birth to fi nd
Isaac a wife. Abraham said, “And I will
make you swear by God, the God of
heaven and the God of the earth, that
you will not take a wife for my son from
the daughters of the Canaanites among
whom I dwell but will go to the land
of my birth and get a wife for Isaac.”
(Genesis 24:3-4)
Abraham’s announcement of his “res-
ident alien” status and his insistence
on fi nding Isaac’s wife from “the old
country” remind me that everything
in life comes with a price tag. Abraham
was given the opportunity of a lifetime.

He was blessed to hear God’s call to “go
forth.” He was blessed to be the father of
a multitude of nations. He was blessed
that his family followed him on his
journey. He was literally blessed by God.

And yet, we see in this week’s portion
that heeding God’s call took a toll on
Abraham. It seems that Abraham was
dreams. Chasing a goal oft en means
following a path with no clear desti-
nation in sight. But they do it because
they feel called to do the work just as
Abraham was called to journey toward
the Promised Land.

Toward the end of this portion,
Abraham’s death is described in the
following way, “And Abraham breathed
his last, dying at a good ripe age, old and
contented, and he was gathered to his
kin.” Had Abraham stayed in his home-
town of Haran, he may have grown old,
but I don’t think that he would have
been contented.

I believe it was his fulfi llment of God’s
call that enabled him to feel contented
upon his death. Had Abraham stayed in
Haran, he would have spent his entire
Chasing a goal often means
following a path with no clear
destination in sight.

homesick all of his life. In his advanced
years, no matter what the folks around
him said, Abraham did not feel at home.

Th e Hittites said to Abraham, “Hear us
my lord.”
“You are the elect of God among us ...”
(Genesis 23:5) But Abraham didn’t agree.

He insisted on paying for the Cave of
Machpelah. Furthermore, it seems like
there were plenty of Canaanite women
who would have gladly married Isaac.

Otherwise, why would Abraham have
had to emphatically direct his servant
to avoid bringing home a Canaanite
woman for Isaac? But he did it because
the Canaanites were not the right fi t for
Isaac, in Abraham’s eyes.

Abraham nobly followed God toward
a place that God would show him. But
getting to that land, and staying there,
meant feeling like an outsider for the
rest of his life. Th is is the price that
many leaders pay in pursuit of their
24 NOVEMBER 17, 2022 | JEWISHEXPONENT.COM
life with his kin, but he would not have
fulfi lled his destiny. By always holding
onto his role as an outsider, perhaps
Abraham allowed himself to feel con-
nected to his ancestors even though he
was physically separated from them.

Perhaps Abraham not only founded
Judaism by the sound of God’s voice
calling him, but also by the urge to make
those from his hometown proud. JE
Rabbi Jason Bonder is the associate
rabbi of Congregation Beth Or in Maple
Glen. Th e Board of Rabbis of Greater
Philadelphia is proud to provide diverse
perspectives on Torah commentary
for the Jewish Exponent. Th e opin-
ions expressed in this column are the
author’s own and do not refl ect the view
of the Board of Rabbis.