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Rabbi Kami Knapp Schechter
Courtesy of Kami Knapp Schechter
Sasha Rogelberg | Staff Writer
R abbis are usually the ones stewarding congregants through life
cycle events, such as births, deaths, coming of age and marriage,
but what happens when a rabbi goes through those same
monumental life moments?
Congregation Or Shalom Rabbi Kami Knapp Schechter, who just
turned 40, is returning to her synagogue on May 22 after maternity leave,
having given birth to twins three months ago.

As she plans to step back on the bimah, the spiritual leader of the Berwyn
Conservative synagogue is honest about the difficulty of the transition.

“If I can’t advocate for time and space to properly heal myself, then
I can’t be there 100% for my congregants, and that’s what’s most
important," Knapp Schechter said.

The role of a rabbi is precarious, as
it means being emotionally available to
the community, but still professional. As
she navigates being a new mother to
three, she has to balance her job and
congregation’s needs with her boundar-
ies and hopes her community trusts and
supports her.

Some congregants don’t want to
see the person giving them spiritual
guidance in their own period of turmoil
or emotional distress, Knapp Schechter
said. It’s a struggle to see their rabbi as
someone who is not perfect. It can sow
doubts in their minds about the strength
of their spiritual leader.

“Rabbis are people too,” she said.

Knapp Schechter joined Or Shalom in
2019. She decided to stay in Philadelphia
after graduating from the Reconstructionist
Rabbinical College in 2017, falling in love
with the city and her now-husband, who
she had just begun dating.

In the four years since becoming
rabbi to a community of 75 families,
she’s gotten married, had two births
and experienced the death of her
brother two weeks before her twins
were born.

Or Shalom’s 75 family units witnessed
those moments, including a wedding
celebration and the bris of her twins
over Zoom. Their willingness to support
Knapp Schechter was one of the reasons
she joined the synagogue.

“They were very open and excited
about my continuing journey, both as a
rabbi and also as a person,” she said.

She has the same faith in her congre-
gation today. Next month, she will host
a kiddush to thank the synagogue for
their support and allow them to meet
her twins.

Motherhood has been especially
transformative in Knapp Schechter’s
relationship with God. In the middle of
the night, exhausted while feeding her
babies, the rabbi sometimes speaks to
God, yearning to connect with or get a
response from the almighty.

“Finding the holy moments in every
day is so real and pressing and diffi-
cult during a postpartum period,” she
said. “I would say I have experienced
and cultivated my relationship with God,
more so in these moments than in other
moments of my life.”
Originally from Seattle, Knapp
Schechter was always involved in
Jewish community but did not immedi-
ately seek it out in the rabbinate. She
studied international studies at the
University of Seattle, hoping to one
day become a diplomat or work for the
United Nations.

She moved to London for a few
years, attending a synagogue there,
but the country on the brink of a reces-
sion required any immigrants who
weren’t students or workers to leave.

Knapp Schechter returned to the U.S.

without any next steps to pursue inter-
national studies and consulted a life
coach. Always connected to Jewish commu-
nity, Knapp Schechter realized she could
make it her job to deepen those connec-
tions. The then-29-year-old matriculated
at the Reconstructionist Rabbinical
College. “I wanted to grow personally, as a
Jewish person,” Knapp Schechter said.

“I wanted to be in an environment
where I could learn, where I could be
challenged, where I could be in relation-
ship with really amazingly intelligent
Jewish scholars.”
Last month, though still technically
on maternity leave, Knapp Schechter
returned to the bimah to help lead
services for a bar mitzvah for a family
with whom she was close. She stayed for
the service but left before the kiddush
luncheon to take care of her family.

The moment marked an example of
how she wants to shape her future at Or
Shalom: on her terms, with mutual trust
between congregant and leader.

“I know I was able to go back and
support the family because if I hadn’t
been in a position to, say, emotionally or
physically, if I was not able to be present
in that moment or be there, they would
have understood,” Knapp Schechter
said. “... It’s a relationship.” ■
srogelberg@midatlanticmedia.com JEWISHEXPONENT.COM
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