H eadlines
Try Self-Soothing Techniques When Stressed
S E NIORS
MARCY SHOEMAKER | JE FEATURE
CLOSE YOUR EYES and take
a deep breath. Think about the
last time you were tucked into
bed and someone close to you,
maybe a parent or grandparent,
read you a bedtime story.

Most likely, you felt safe and
secure then, and were able to easily
go to sleep. You probably didn’t
know at the time that this tech-
nique was known as “soothing.”
As adults, we are challenged
to find ways to calm or soothe
ourselves to reduce anxiety
and calm our minds. Even
though society may challenge
the need to care for ourselves
as adults, self-soothing tech-
niques are essential to reduce
anxiety and depression and
achieve overall well-being and a
positive state of mind.

Unfortunately, we are not
often taught the art of
self-soothing. Instead, we’re
encouraged to tough it out in
a pressured world. But these
techniques come in handy
during difficult times.

Some of the techniques are
found in Dialectal Behavior
Therapy (DBT). In DBT,
self-soothing skills are known
as distress tolerance. Some
of these habits or behaviors
come from childhood, and
others can be learned. There
is not one perfect self-sooth-
ing behavior. An individualized
approach is important in learn-
ing which behaviors or skills
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work for you.

Self-soothing techniques
may simply involve engaging
in a pleasant or enjoyable event.

For kids, this is easy since this
involves the art of playing.

Think for a minute about
activities that you enjoy or have
not been involved in for a long
time. This may involve reading,
going to an art museum, taking
a walk, watching your favorite
TV show, taking time to orga-
nize your closet or talking with
a friend. These pleasant events
also result in distraction, which
can help quiet the mind.

Another way of looking at
self-soothing techniques is by
classifying them according to
the senses or sensory experiences.

Sight: You can look outside
the window at nature or take a
walk to your favorite place to
observe the surroundings. Look
at pictures of artwork or use
your imagination to visualize a
person or place that helps you to
feel happy and/or calm.

Sound: Listen to your favor-
ite songs the sounds of nature
around you. One person may
feel calm when they listen to
rap music, while another may
prefer classical music. The
sounds of crickets at nights
may calm one individual, while
the sounds of the ocean may
appeal to another.

Smell: You could imag-
ine the smell of fresh-baked
cookies when they first come
out of the oven. Or you could
smell your favorite perfume,
light a fragrant candle or smell
a favorite soap. Lavender has
soothing qualities for many
people. Some enjoy walking
outside and taking a deep
breath and smelling the many
odors of nature early in the
morning. Touch: If you feel anxious,
try splashing cold water on
your face or putting ice cubes
under your chin. Comfort
may also result from a warm
bath, with or without bubbles.

Wrapping yourself in your
favorite soft robe or a blanket
may give you comfort on a
difficult day.

Taste: There are so many
individual options. You may
like the sweetness of chocolate
or the cold feeling of water
ice. Calmness may be achieved
when drinking various types
of tea, including herbal teas
such as chamomile. At the
same time, you may enjoy eat-
ing a spicy mint that will wake
you up or help make you more
aware of your emotions.

Kinesthetic: Moving is
another effective self-soothing
technique. Exercise, dance,
rocking in a rocking chair,
tossing a ball or playing with
a toy can be helpful. You might
like to return to your child-
hood days when you played
with Play-Doh or Silly Putty.

All moving does not have to
involve exercise.

Finding ways to care for
yourself with self-soothing
techniques is an important and
helpful addition to your life.

But there are reasons people
avoid adopting them:
1. Some people feel that they
don’t have time in their
busy schedules to care for
themselves. 2. Individuals’ inner voices
often tell them that they
should care for others.

3. People feel silly or awkward
engaging in self-soothing
behaviors. 4. New habits are hard to adopt.

Think back again to a time
when you felt calm, secure
and relaxed. This time it may
not involve someone reading
a bedtime story to you and
tucking you into bed. It may
involve you engaging in one
or more of the previously dis-
cussed self-soothing behaviors.

These tools should help you
get through difficult times and
make your life more enjoyable
and manageable. l
Marcy Shoemaker, Psy.D., is a staff
psychologist at Abramson Center.

JEWISHEXPONENT.COM



H EADLINES
ABCs (and Ds)
of Buying Life
Insurance F INANCE
BEN FELD | JE FEATURE
SURE, A LOT of companies
like to give you the ABCs of
buying life insurance, but we
think it’s important enough to
off er a Step D as well.

No one really likes to talk
or think about life insurance.

But for millions of Americans,
life insurance has become the
cornerstone of their family
fi nancial plans. To that end,
how do you determine how
much — and what type — of
life insurance is right for you?
Let’s talk about individual, not
business, life insurance.

First to consider, there are
two basic types of life insurance:
Term life provides death
benefit protection of the
insured for a certain number
of years, typically fi ve, 10, 20
or 30. It is oft en called “pure”
life insurance, as all of the pre-
miums are used to pay for the
coverage only; there is no cash
value component.

Permanent life, oft en in
the form of whole, universal
and variable universal, pro-
vides death benefi t protection
but adds the potential for tax-
deferred cash value. Th is is
capital that can be accessed via
policy loans and withdrawals
for living benefi ts such as sup-
plemental retirement income,
college tuition payments, home
improvements or a host of
other fi nancial needs.

Step A: Assess your imme-
diate needs. And we do mean
immediate. In fact, the best
time to buy life insurance was
yesterday — before you actu-
ally have a need. Because the
earlier in life you can buy, the
chances are the lower the pre-
miums will be — whether for a
term or permanent policy. Now
JEWISHEXPONENT.COM is the time to learn what life
insurance can mean for your
fi nancial plans. Remember,
term life provides death benefi t
protection for a specifi c period
of time and permanent life
provides death benefi t protec-
tion plus the potential for cash
value to provide living benefi ts.

Step B: Assess your future
needs. Time to have that pro-
verbial chat with yourself. Do
you see yourself getting mar-
ried and having children? Are
you expecting a long period
of being single? Have you
thought through the costs of
raising a family and what an
untimely death could mean to
your fi nancial planning? It is
a lot to think about. But the
sooner you can plan ahead, the
sooner you can make a choice
about life insurance and how
cost-eff ective it may be.

Step C: Determine how
much you can aff ord. A tricky
point to be sure, but one that
cannot be overlooked in your
planning. Generally speaking,
term life is going to cost less
than permanent. So while you
can buy more actual life cov-
erage with term, that coverage
will end at the end of the spec-
ifi ed term (and sometimes will
increase in cost as the policy
gets down the road).

Some liken the choice of
term versus permanent to the
age-old question of renting
versus owning. Permanent life,
as noted above, does have the
potential to build cash value
but generally comes with
higher premiums than term.

But just like the question of
owning versus renting, nothing
is totally black and white. Term
policies, for example, oft en off er
the ability to convert to perma-
nent. And permanent policies
may not project the cash val-
ues you think you will need
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And there is what some call
the “X” factor: Will you need to
undergo medical underwriting
at some point if you want more
insurance? Th at will aff ect cost.

Step D: Find a fi nancial pro-
fessional with whom you feel
comfortable. He or she will
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review your fi nancial needs
and wants with you, help
assess what policy is right for
you and navigate the diff er-
ences in costs among policies.

Part of this person’s job is to
make sure all of your ques-
tions are answered, so make
sure you ask them. Th en
you will feel positive about
your choice of life insurance.

And since you should
have started yesterday, now is
most defi nitely the time to get
started. Building the corner-
stone of your fi nancial future
is too important to wait on. ●
Ben Feld is an adviser with
1847Financial in Conshohocken.

MARCH 21, 2019
13