Judith Kaplan Eisenstein at her second bat
mitzvah ceremony in 1992
Courtesy of
Ironbound Fi
lms aron Musher
Courtesy of Sh
Always religious, Rubin-Sugarman
said her relationship with Judaism has
changed as her June 11 bat mitzvah
date approaches.

“I consider myself a pretty spiritual
person,” she said. “And I couldn’t
imagine [the adult b’nai mitzvah
class] would enhance it, but I think
it has.”
While Rubin-Sugarman felt
like having a bat mitzvah later in
life was a way to fulfi ll a dream
from her past, SAJ Rabbi Lauren
Grabelle Herrmann is looking
to make fundamental changes
The four daughters of Rabbi Mordechai
to the
language and attitude
Kaplan as young girls
around Jewish coming-of-age that
socialized with strict gender roles. She was somewhat align with the spirit of Eisenstein’s
resentful that her brothers who played Little League bat mitzvah, which brought an
baseball and attended Hebrew school, envious of the one underrepresented gender into a new
fold of synagogue life.

Jewish girl she knew who had a bat mitzvah.

About four or fi ve years ago, Grabelle
“I thought it was wonderful — and not for the party
Herrmann — who also was the
— for what she was accomplishing,” she said. “I was just
founding rabbi
of West Philadelphia’s
in awe of what she accomplished.”
Kol Tzedek
congregation — changed all language
Aft er her confi rmation in the 10th grade, Rubin-
referring to
coming-of-age to “b’mitzvah,” a gender-
Sugarman became involved in United Synagogue Youth,
neutral term
that is
becoming more widely used in
committing to involvement in Jewish life as an adult.

many Reform
and Reconstructionist
spaces. SAJ’s
“I said to myself at 16 when I went on USY On Wheels,
gender-neutral language
is also
used when
calling up
‘I’m going to do this someday; someday, I’m going to be
individuals for
an aliyah,
regardless of
the individual’s
able to have a bat mitzvah,’ and that kind of had a huge
gender. eff ect on me,” she said.

In the past year, fi ve of the congregation’s 260 families
Rubin-Sugarman approached Weiner last year,
have had b’mitzvah for a transgender, gender non-
requesting a bat mitzvah ceremony that would take place
conforming or non-binary child.

in her 70th year of life. Her son-in-law, who recently
“It’s awesome
to feel like we’re ready to be inclusive
converted, and seven other congregants joined her.

without it being a big
deal at all,” Grabelle
Herrmann said.

In addition to the
language being
affirming, it’s also
practical in a
space where kids
and tweens are
thinking openly about
their gender, she said.

Grabelle Herrmann
had a child announce
a change in pronouns
two weeks before their
b’mitzvah. Th e family
asked what needed
to change in the
ceremony. Nothing
did, G r ab e l l e
Herrmann said.

Sharon Musher’s daughter Elena (center)
at her bat mitzvah in 2016
In a changing political and social landscape, more
than just a language update is necessary to engage Jewish
youth, Grabelle Herrmann argued.

Beyond teaching prayers and parshot to young
congregants, she’s also tasked with engaging tweens who
aren’t interested in becoming b’mitzvah or engaging
further with the Jewish community.

“I’ve had many conversations with kids who are like,
‘I’m not into this; I’m not feeling this,’ Grabelle Herrmann
said. “And I’m able to talk about: What are the reasons
people do this? Why is this important to your parents?
What can you get out of it? Th ose conversations keep
the kids engaged, even if they don’t love their b’mitzvah.

Th ey know that they can trust to talk to a Jewish adult and
spiritual fi gure.”
Th e task is in line with what Musher believes is the
true purpose of a b’mitzvah.

When she refl ects on the legacy of her great aunt,
Musher thinks beyond just the inaugural bat mitzvah.

Eisenstein became a prominent and prolifi c Jewish
composer, musicologist and educator. Th ough her bat
mitzvah was the genesis of her engagement with the
larger Jewish community, the impact of her scholarship
and commitment to Jewish life was profound aft er her
coming-of-age. “It’s really important that [b’nai mitzvahs] mark, not
the end of young people’s Jewish education,” Musher
said, “but the beginning of an adult commitment to
Jewish peoplehood.” JE
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