T orah P ortion
CAN DL E L IGHTIN G
Real, But Not True
BY CANTOR JULIE NEWMAN
Parshat Shlach
MY COUNTY will soon stop
sending out the daily messages
about the county’s COVID
rates that many of us have
gotten daily since March 2020.

It has felt like a solid piece
of information that I could
count on.

Watching the numbers of
COVID cases dropping recently
literally makes me breathe
easier. But it hasn’t always been
so over the past 14 months. As
the pandemic grew, the rising
numbers in the report could
make my breath catch and
my heart feel squeezed. That
was the lens through which
I saw this year’s news, which
regularly included heart-
breaking headlines reporting
stories of violence and injus-
tice, provoking feelings of
worry and powerlessness.

In Parshat Shlach, the
Israelites experienced heart-
breaking headlines. As they
prepared to enter the land
of Canaan, Moses sent one
man from each tribe, “men
of stature,” to scout the land.

Their instructions were to get
June 4
June 11
8:08 p.m.

8:12 p.m.

information about the people,
the towns and the land. They
were to “see the land, what it is
like and the people that dwell
in it.”
But having lived through
the trauma of Egypt and the
miracles of the Exodus, what
lens would they see through
in judging whether the people
there were “strong or slack, few
or many”? Or whether the land
was good or bad and whether
the towns were open settle-
ments or fortresses? They were
to evaluate whether the land
was “fat or lean,” and if there
were trees. And finally, they
were to “muster their strength”
to bring back a sample of fruit,
this being the season of the
first ripe grapes.

We are told that after 40
days they brought back that
sample of fruit, a giant cluster of
grapes carried on a pole by two
men. They also brought back
their headlines. They acknowl-
edged to Moses that the land
was indeed “flowing with milk
and honey.” But that news was
overshadowed by their conclu-
sion that they couldn’t go up
against these mighty people
and large fortified towns. And
although Caleb, one of the
scouts, strongly contradicted
the majority opinion, he didn’t
deny the substance.

The majority then doubled
down, emphasizing the feeling
of menace from “men of huge
measure,” from a land that
“consumes all who dwell in it”
and even the danger from sons
of giants. They finish with a
statement of utter powerless-
ness, saying “we were in our
own eyes like grasshoppers and
so we were in their eyes.”
Rashi, the great medieval
commentator, saw this bad
report, this “dibah,” as a lack
of faith. But couldn’t they have
just been responding to being
at their emotional limit and
overwhelmed? When people
are overstressed, our minds
are just bad at discerning
between real and imagined
danger. We have learned that
unprocessed fear that operates
outside of our conscious-
ness can shape our beliefs,
decisions and actions. Were
the people of Canaan a truly
outsized danger or were they
imagined monsters? Did the
land truly “consume all who
dwell in it,” or were the scouts
unconsciously consumed
with fear?
The great Chasidic master,
the Maggid of Mezritch, taught
that the scouts had fallen prey
to a distorted perception about
themselves, the land and its
inhabitants. Put another way,
their feelings were real, but not
true. What of the Israelites, who,
upon hearing these headlines,
wept loudly and bitterly into
the night? In their terror, they
blamed and complained. They
wished aloud that they had
died in Egypt. They lashed out
and threatened to stone Caleb
and Joshua, the only other spy
to return with a positive report.

When fear feels like too
much or when we feel unsafe,
we can be pushed outside of
what psychiatrist Daniel Siegel
calls our “window of toler-
ance,” where fear and anger
can take over. We can harm
ourselves (go back to Egypt) or
others (stone Joshua and Caleb)
as we look for any way to not
feel that fear and uncertainty.

We can be cut off, separated,
from our own wisdom, faith,
resilience and strength.

Yet Joshua and Caleb
remained connected to their
inner resources. They were able
to respond to the Israelites’ fear
and despair with reassurance
and compassion. We all have
different capacities in different
situations. (The health care
heroes of the COVID-19
pandemic have surely shown
that.) The result of this sorry
episode was that a whole
generation of the Jewish people
would die in the wilderness,
cut off from their relationship
with God, from their promised
land, by fear.

How can I avoid being cut
off, by the fears of our own
time? How do I get back in
touch with my own inner
resources when reading or
hearing whatever the headlines
bring? I begin by finding a
feeling of safety. Connecting to
something I can count on. By
becoming aware of my breath.

By feeling my feet on the floor.

By knowing that my fear may
be real, but not true. This can
be faith, and a prayer. l
where the educational center for
children was able to comfort-
ably host around 70 parents
and children for lively Kabbalat
Shabbat services in the alley
behind the building. They’d been
hosting children inside on and
off for parts of 2020 and 2021,
but as Makom founding director
Beverly Socher-Lerner put it,
“this school year has been what
I’m lovingly calling the pivot
Olympics.” Rising and falling
infection rates have guided the
decision making of Makom’s
leadership, and they will continue
to be sensitive to the numbers.

What that means practi-
cally is that Makom will take
baby steps on the way back to
normalcy. For a recent Kabbalat
Shabbat celebration, attendees
were given grape juice and
popsicles as they left the alley.

Next: serving food while people
are still together, outside.

“When we did suddenly
see 70 people in the back of
Makom, we weren’t like, ‘Oh,
no, this is a lot of people,’”
said Amanda Phillips, Center
City director of Makom.

“But rather, ‘This is such an
exciting opportunity that we
now have and [for] everyone to
feel comfortable and safe doing
so.’” The next steps will come
as new guidelines from public
health bodies are released.

Beth Sholom Congregation
recently hosted its first indoor,
in-person cultural event since
March 2020. Congregants who
wished to attend an a cappella
show from the group Six13 were
required to show proof of vacci-
nation, which they were more
than happy to do according
to Robin Minkoff, executive
director of the synagogue.

“They want to return to
normalcy,” Minkoff said, “with
respect for both the law and
whatever Beth Sholom chooses
to do regarding this pace of
reopening.” But an in-person, indoor,
masked event doesn’t just
happen because the synagogue
decides that it’s time. It also
needs enough Beth Sholom
congregants — “a rising ground-
swell” of them, in Minkoff’s
words — who are enthusiastic
about doing so. l
Cantor Julie Newman is president
of Tiferet, a Jewish spirituality
project, and spiritual leader of
Chavurat Shirah, an independent
minyan. This column was provided
by the Greater Pittsburgh Rabbinic
Association. In-person
Continued from Page 13
At “Pathways to Israel — Mind,
Motion and Munchies,” masks
will still be required, but as
with Adath Israel’s barbecue,
the presence of refreshments
will make 100%, wire-to-wire
compliance impossible.

Though indoor events
without masks are likely to be
beyond the pale “for a while,”
Blake said, it’s an exciting
time for CBENT. Communal
gatherings that seemed out of
reach for a year are becoming
possible again.

That’s been the case at
Makom Community, too,
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