O pinion
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome as
a Rabbi
BY RABBI DAHLIA BERNSTEIN
I AM LATE TO Yom Kippur
– which isn’t a problem except
I’m leading services. My flight to
Rochester was canceled, and my
father, who is also a rabbi, is now
standing in for me until I arrive.

I get to the building, and services
have started when I peer into the
sanctuary, and I see my father
killing it from the bimah.

My heart sinks, and I almost
don’t go in. Imagine Rabbi
Bernstein Sr. — suit, salt-and-
pepper beard and a James Earl
Jones baritone voice. Then
there is me — an ill-fitting
suit, mezzo-soprano voice and
racking insecurities.

Whether it is rational or
not, I feel like an impostor
and know they will see right
through me.

I spent many years working
through the feeling that I
would never be enough. I both
fiercely defended my right to
be a rabbi and also secretly
felt fearful that I wasn’t the
expert that they needed me to
be. To some degree, everyone
feels that way when they enter
a new position, yet for some,
that feeling lingers. One fear
is that the quirk we think is
so unprofessional may under-
mine our leadership, and the
“impostor” within it wants to
run and hide.

One issue I have with using
the phrase “imposter syndrome”
is that people often just stop
there. We sit in the uncomfort-
able space of not feeling like we
JEWISHEXPONENT.COM are enough, and because this
space feels so familiar, we accept
that feeling like an impostor will
just have to be the cost of being
a leader. We get stuck looking
at those who seem so confident
and think, “If only I could be
more like them.”
So we contort and spend our
energy trying to be something
we are not. It’s a cycle, and it
has to end for you to feel the
freedom and power you are
looking for. Before his death,
Rabbi Zusya said, “In the
coming world, they will not ask
me, ‘Why were you not Moses?’
They will ask me, ‘Why were
you not Zusya?”’
Mic drop.

want our institutions and this
beautiful tradition to flourish,
then leaders and communities
need to be courageous enough
to embody today’s diverse
voices. I guarantee you that if
it is your truth, it is someone
else’s truth, too.

And we cannot risk
losing any member of our
precious tribe because of our
insecurities. After all, the amount of
energy it takes to try to be
someone we are not can be
spent in more productive ways.

We are leaking energy that
could be better used in the
service of our greater values
and our institution’s missions.

KVETCH ’N’ KVELL
Twerski Was ‘Astounding’
THE FIRST TIME I HEARD the name of Abraham Twerski was
at a seder in Milwaukee in 1958. One of my first jobs when I gradu-
ated from college was in Kenosha, Wisconsin, and living in the
Midwest was new to me. A local family did not want me to be alone
on Passover and insisted that I go with them to a relative’s seder in
Milwaukee. The seder had almost 40 people — relatives, friends and
strangers who were far from home.

During the seder, the locals were talking about an Orthodox
medical student who was so smart and brilliant that he was
astounding the faculty at the medical school — Abraham
Twerski. Reading the op-ed in the Exponent by Rabbi Zvi Gluck
(“Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski Made Jewish Addiction Work
Possible,” Feb. 11) is a reminder of my own experience, and
filled in more information about the life and work of Abraham
Twerski. Jerome Leventhal | Silver Spring, Maryland
Democrats Do Support Israel
Lisa Sandler’s letter (“Lifelong Democrat Shares Concerns,” Feb.

11) claims that “Democrats are no supporters of Israel … ” I
have no idea how she comes to this gross generalization, but I
am a lifelong Democrat, have been a Lower Merion Democratic
committeeman, am a founder of Democratic Jewish Outreach
PA, a federal PAC, and I am and have been my entire life a strong
We cannot risk losing any member of our
supporter of the state of Israel. I have purchased Israel bonds,
precious tribe because of our insecurities.

visited relatives in Israel many times, and I’ve raised campaign
funds for Sen. Bob Casey and other strong supporters of Israel.

Casey, a Democrat, has voted for every military and other aid bill
Martin Buber shared Rabbi So what if I told you that not in support of Israel in Congress.

So, Democrats are supporters of Israel, contrary to Sandler’s
Zusya’s gut-punching message only could you be yourself, but
long before anyone was talking you could be precisely what misguided letter.

David Broida | Bryn Mawr
about “impostor syndrome.” your boss, your co-workers and
Despite powerful teachings the Jewish people need? It’s
like this, we still fear leading real, and it’s simple, and the It Feels Like Proof
the Jewish community we love first step is to accept that you
so much. When questions that don’t need all of the answers “Finding God in Nature After My Dog’s Death” (Feb. 11) was a
magnificent piece of writing that brought me to tears. It totally
might change the way “things right now to be powerful.

were done” come our way, even
Your intuition — combined expresses my feelings about how nature is absolute proof there
if we have innovative ideas, with logic and emotional must be some kind of God. l
Sherry Wolkoff | Marlton, New Jersey
many of us hear this subver- awareness — will help you
sive voice that screams, “You’re locate the resources you need.

going to mess it up” or “They Accepting yourself is not the
STATEMENT FROM THE PUBLISHER
We are a diverse community. The views expressed in the signed opinion columns and let-
won’t respect you if … ”
same thing as “letting yourself
ters to the editor published in the Jewish Exponent are those of the authors. They do
That voice is a nasty gremlin off the hook.” Self-acceptance
not necessarily reflect the views of the officers and boards of the Jewish Publishing
planted in our minds many is the key to leadership.

Group, the Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia or the Jewish Exponent. Send
letters to letters@jewishexponent.com or fax to 215-569-3389. Letters should be a
years ago to protect us and
Consider what Rabbi
maximum of 200 words and may be edited for clarity and brevity. Unsigned letters will not be
keep us small, yet it rears its Nahman of Bretslov said:
published. ugly head when the moment “When you were born, the
calls us to lead in a big way. Universe decided it could not
Interestingly, the fear is live without you.”
twofold: both that we are too
You are — and always have
weak to make a difference and been — enough. l
Tell us what you’re thinking and interact with the
that we are so powerful that
we can corrupt this vast and Dahlia Bernstein is the spiritual
community at jewishexponent.com
long-lasting tradition with just leader of Congregation Beth
Connect with us on
one decision.

Ohr in Bellmore, New York. This
It is a communal impera- piece was first published by
tive to lead as ourselves. If we eJewishPhilanthropy.

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