H eadlines
S E NIORS
MARCY SHOEMAKER | JE FEATURE
IT MAY SEEM almost impos-
sible to exist in our present
society where our past mis-
takes — which were previously
acceptable behaviors — may
be caught in various forms of
social media.

Many populations were rou-
tinely discriminated against,
and it was accepted as normal
and OK. What do we tell our
children and grandchildren
about our past behaviors that
embarrass us and why they
were wrong? How do we ensure
we raise them to be accepting,
understanding adults?
We have seen a number of
past negative behaviors finally
being addressed. The use of
blackface is one that has been
in the news lately.

Back in the early 1900s, black-
face was a popular way white
people disparagingly depicted
black Americans in theater and
in movies. Recently, a number
of white entertainers and pol-
iticians have been called out
for using blackface in the past.

Rather than offer sincere apolo-
gies, many have offered nothing
but excuses and justifications or
have remained completely silent
on the matter. What message
does this send to young minds?
Another haven of bad
behavior that is being exam-
ined is college Greek life.

Increasingly, fraternities and
sororities are being scrutinized
due to tragic deaths that have
occurred because of hazing
and other reckless behaviors.

How many grandparents and
parents engaged in similar behav-
iors that they now hide from their
children and grandchildren?
Luckily for many of us, social
media didn’t exist, so many of
our secrets may remain hidden
while we lecture our children to
behave better and petition col-
leges to either end Greek life or
propose sanctions on unaccept-
able and harmful behaviors. We
have to raise confident children
who know when to say no and
how to stand up for themselves
when being goaded to participate
in behavior that is detrimental to
themselves or others.

How do we explain to our
children the abusive behaviors of
men toward women that have led
to the rise of the #MeToo move-
ment? How do we explain the
societal expectations that forced
many of our grandmothers who
strived to be in other professions
KatarzynaBialasiewicz / iStock / Getty Images Plus
How Do We Explain Societal Changes to Offspring?
but were usually only permitted
to be teachers, nurses and stay-
at-home mothers? How many
members of the LGBTQ com-
munity were forced to hide in
the shadows from their employ-
ers, friends and family members
out of fear of discrimination?
The simple answer is that
discrimination based on some-
one’s skin color, gender or sex-
ual identity is wrong.

Blackface is no longer
2019 acceptable because it is a harm-
ful and an inaccurate represen-
tation. That danger from Greek
life has become recognized by
multiple voices in society and
dramatic change is warranted.

The #MeToo movement has
gained power because of the
brave men and women who were
willing to come forward and take
a chance to challenge powerful
leaders in business and enter-
tainment. We live in an exciting
and also difficult time, where we
can only explain situations and
changes to the best of our ability.

Maybe the best lesson we can
teach our children is that while
change for the better often hap-
pens in small, sometimes pain-
ful, steps, it always depends on
the strength and integrity of
brave men and women. l
Marcy Shoemaker, Psy.D., is a
psychologist at Abramson Center.

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