T orah P ortion
The Risk of an Approach
BY RABBI LINDA HOLTZMAN
Parshat Vayigash
WE ARE LIVING IN
challenging times. Uncertainty
and anxiety are often at the
heart of all that we do.

This week’s Torah portion,
Vayigash, opens us to a
powerful moment in the lives
of Joseph and his brothers — a
moment based in uncertainty
and anxiety. Joseph’s brothers
have returned to Egypt to get
much-needed food, and Joseph
has put every possible challenge
in their way. They do not know
who Joseph is but still see him
as a powerful leader in Egypt,
and it would be extremely risky
to stand up to him in any way.

It is a moment of real
question: Should the brothers
approach Joseph and speak to
him, telling him some of their
family’s story? Would it be a
foolhardy risk, or is it necessary
and wise?
The first word in the Torah
portion models an important
truth for us: Vayigash, he
approached. Judah summons
the courage he needs and
reaches out with genuine
openness to Joseph, and his
Cemeteries Continued from Page 5
In partnership with the
Jewish Federation of Greater
Philadelphia, Solomon is in
the early stages of creating
a nonprofit that would give
Levy an “off-ramp” of being
the cemeteries’ owner and
4:18 p.m.

4:19 p.m.

of us, once we navigated the
COVID territory, the major
risk of Thanksgiving was
approaching those with whom
we politically disagree. Will we
be treated disrespectfully? Will
we be seen as less than fully
human? If we dare to speak our
own truth, will it be disparaged
or dismissed? Is it just too risky
to be open about who we are to
be willing to do it?
I remember my own coming
out as a lesbian in the 1980s and
my assumption that I would
be treated as “less than” once
people knew about me. And I
have known so many people
who are queer or are living
Jewish lives that are different
from their families’ lives or
are in interfaith relation-
ships or who are in some way
moving away from the way
that their families live. Coming
together with family and
fully approaching them with
honesty can be terrifying —
which takes us back to Judah.

Judah approaches Joseph
thoughtfully and slowly
showing real care and respect.

He takes a huge risk in
revealing his truth, but he does
so knowing that his family’s
very survival is at stake if he
does not. Judah’s revelation
moves Joseph to tears and to
forgiveness for all his brothers
have done to him.

What Judah has not realized
is that it is not just the physical
survival of his family that is
at stake but the emotional
survival as well. How can there
be a true family if there can be
no basic honesty, no readiness
to be ourselves and to know
that we will be accepted for
who we are?
It is not easy to take the step
that Judah takes, but it is so
important. And it is important
that Judah decides what to share
and what needs to wait to be told
until there is greater clarity in
the relationship he has with the
man standing in front of him.

Once he knows it is Joseph,
there’s time for more talking,
more sharing, more crying
and more revealing. I love to
imagine the conversations that
Joseph and his brothers have
that are not recorded in the
Torah text. I’m sure those talks
are not easy, but I’m also sure
they are deep and significant.

In our lives, we are always
weighing risks. How much can
we reveal about ourselves to
our families? How much can
we approach them with the
truth about who we are and
how we understand our lives?
My hope is that Vayigash
is an inspiration for those of
us who have much to share
to begin to find ways to open.

And may it also inspire all of us
who are learning more deeply
about our family members
to be open and to listen with
whole hearts and with respect
and loving kindness. Then,
the risks that we take with
each other will be worthwhile
and will create richer family
experiences and gentler, more
supportive relationships. l
instead create a “communi-
ty-based alternative,” holding
programming that would
generate more revenue to the
cemeteries. “This is a model that works,”
Solomon said. “It’s the only
way for cemeteries like Har
Nebo and Mount Carmel to be
viable in years to come.”
Solomon said
the cemeteries are not generating
enough revenue through
perpetual care and funerals.

Laurel Hill Cemetery in
Phi ladelphia
generates revenue off of programming
like haunted houses and
performances that has been
successful, he said.

Scherr, a retired certified
public accountant who has
worked with cemeteries in
the past, added that because
Har Nebo and Mount Carmel
don’t have their own funeral
homes, they cannot generate
as much revenue as other area
cemeteries. A successful clean-up of
Har Nebo in October led by the
Jewish Federation and partner
Friends of Jewish Cemeteries
brought 300 volunteers to the
cemetery, Solomon said.

Friends of
Jewish Cemeteries’ pilot project to
restore graves at Har Nebo
created a “dramatic differ-
ence,” said Dennis Montagna,
program lead of Monument
Research and Preservation at
the National Park Service, who
helped with the pilot project.

The two-week project in
November was intended to
repair eight to 10 gravestones,
but project members were able
to repair 32.

“In terms of square footage,
it’s kind of a drop in the
bucket,” Montagna said. “But
it shows what can be done if
people are patient with it and
really put their minds to it.” l
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DECEMBER 9, 2021
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willingness to do so is the
pivotal moment in the entire
story. It leads to Joseph’s
revelation of who he is; it
leads to the entire story of the
Hebrew people, their slavery
and freedom, the giving of the
Torah, and, ultimately, to all
of us. One moment of Judah’s
willingness to approach his
brother changes the story of an
entire people.

In today’s world, approaching
another is often frightening.

COVID-19 means that physi-
cally approaching another
often demands vaccinations
and masking and testing and
sometimes not being in person
at all. It felt so very strange
on Thanksgiving to ask our
family to have COVID tests
before getting together. When
have we ever needed medical
testing before we spend time
with our loved ones? But it
was worth every vaccination
and test to open the possibility
of a hug from our 3-year-old
granddaughter! Yet, approaching another
in our world is often not just
physically risky but emotion-
ally risky as well. Our country
is so fractured. We are red or
blue, not just human. For lots
WE’RE A twitter
ABOUT JEWISH PHILADELPHIA.

20 CAN DL E L IGHTIN G
JEWISH EXPONENT
Linda Holtzman is a
Reconstructionist rabbi. She is
the leader of the Tikkun Olam
Chavurah and is on the faculty of
the Reconstructionist Rabbinical
College. The Board of Rabbis of
Greater Philadelphia is proud to
provide diverse perspectives on
Torah commentary for the Jewish
Exponent. The opinions expressed
in this column are the author’s own
and do not reflect the view of the
Board of Rabbis.

srogelberg@jewishexponent.com; 215-832-0741
JEWISHEXPONENT.COM