O pinion
The Orthodox Community Rose Up Against Accused Abuser
Chaim Walder. That Needs to Become the Norm
BY ASHER LOVY
ALLEGATIONS OF CHILD
sexual abuse against Chaim
Walder, the author of children’s
books beloved in the haredi
Orthodox market, and the
uncharacteristically swift and
harsh community response,
have left many wondering
if this case could mark the
turning point in how the
community addresses sexual
abuse. As an abuse survivor who
supports and advocates for
victims of sexual abuse in
Orthodox communities, it’s a
question I’ve been asked many
times over the last week. That
was when Mordy Getz, owner
of Eichler’s of Boro Park, a
Judaica store in Brooklyn,
took the unprecedented step of
removing Walder’s books from
its shelves, setting off a cascade
of action including Feldheim
Publishers halting the sale of
Walder’s books.

Those who come to me
want to know: What led to
this moment, and what does
it mean for the future of the
community? And why do some
allegations stand out when so
many do not result in swift
changes? Part of the answer may be
the unknowable vagaries of
human behavior. Sometimes
it’s because someone is victim-
ized in a shocking way or
decides to go public with their
experiences. Part of it is no
doubt thanks to the foundation
laid by activists and advocates
working to raise awareness
and change how people think
about the issue. In this case
and some others, careful
reporting by reputable journal-
ists lay the facts bare and make
them harder to discard. And
sometimes it’s because there’s
a reserve of pent-up frustration
that just hits the boiling point.

Too often abuse allega-
tions in the haredi Orthodox
community are met with
fierce denials by the accused’s
defenders or stony silence
from leaders. Accusers have
been vilified and ostracized
for daring to come forward,
especially but not only when
the alleged abuser is someone
who’s revered or beloved by
their own community.

I see the impact of that
dangerous dynamic all the
time, when people in the haredi
community call and tell me
their stories of being sexually
abused. Consistently, after
I explain their legal options,
most will express that they’re
too scared to come forward
because of the backlash they
expect to receive. Many are
scared they won’t be believed,
or of losing their livelihoods,
homes or positions in the
community, or are concerned
about what will happen to
their children or loved ones in
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DECEMBER 2, 2021
In one extreme case a man
told me he’d sat outside the
home of his daughter’s abuser
with a baseball bat mustering
the courage to kill him, only
to leave once he realized he’d
gotten the wrong address.

When I asked him if he’d like
to report the abuse, he said
he had other children whose
futures he was scared to jeopar-
dize. He asked me instead to
“embarrass” the abuser in the
community. Walder’s is the rare case
in the Orthodox community
where the alleged abuser is
beloved by, well, everyone. This
is our Bill Cosby, our Jimmy
Saville (the late British enter-
tainer accused of assault).

Every millennial and Gen-Z
haredi child, and even many
Modern Orthodox children,
grew up reading “Kids Speak”
and “People Speak,” Walder’s
popular book series. In Israel,
where Walder is a prominent
speaker, columnist, radio host
and child-treatment expert,
he’s even more universally
known and beloved. I knew
that whatever the reaction was
going to be to the allegations
against him, it was going to be
fierce, and visceral.

Indeed, in different parts
of the community there were
equally forceful — if opposite
— reactions. While some did
go on the offensive and vigor-
ously defend Walder against
what they claimed were false
allegations, many others were
disgusted and threw out his
books. There are those who
are hailing the communi-
ty’s response to the Walder
allegations as a sign that it has
turned the corner on sexual
abuse and is now a safer place
for survivors to come forward
and receive help and support.

That’s a mistake — understand-
able, but a mistake nonetheless.

Flashpoint cases are never
themselves definitive indicators
of sustained, systemic change.

They merely provide the oppor-
tunity for such change. For
example, the murder of George
Floyd caused America to take
a hard look at the system of
policing within which he was
killed. But even though Derek
Chauvin, the police officer who
killed him, was convicted at
trial of murder, it is clear that
lasting and widespread change
is still far off. Others remain
at risk.

The Orthodox community
is still not a place where survi-
vors of sexual violence are
encouraged to come forward.

Institutions like Agudath Israel
of America still require as
their stated policy that a rabbi
be consulted before abuse is
reported to secular authorities.

Whether that rule is written or
unwritten in other parts of the
Orthodox community, it’s very
often the expected norm. That
has to change.

Survivors must also know
that they will receive the
support they need from the
community when they come
forward about abuse. They
must know and feel that their
allegations will be taken
seriously, and that they will
receive the resources they need,
whether that’s mental health,
financial or legal resources,
following their disclosure. The
community has a large and
impressive network of chesed,
or charitable care, organiza-
tions for every possible need
imaginable, yet spends precious
little time, effort and money on
supporting survivors of sexual
abuse — not because it can’t
but because it chooses not to.

That has to change.

Furthermore, the culture
of backlash against survivors
who dare to disclose their
abuse publicly, or pursue a case
against their abuser, whether
civil or criminal, must end.

Too often we’ve seen rabbis
or community leaders make
public statements insulting
survivors or minimizing their
experiences. Lately, with the
spotlight that Child Victims
Act cases have shone on the
issue in New York — allowing
victims to report abuses
sometimes decades old — some
have resorted to making these
statements in private, but to
people they know will spread
them. The result is the same:
Survivors feeling too intimi-
dated and too scared to want to
come forward.

This should not be remem-
bered as the moment the
community solved the issue
of child sexual abuse, but as
the moment it was given the
opportunity to begin fixing the
problem. l
Asher Lovy is an abuse survivor
and director of ZA’AKAH, which
raises awareness about child
sexual abuse in the Orthodox
Jewish community, advocates for
legislative reforms, and operates
a Shabbat and Yom Tov mental
health peer-support hotline.

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O pinion
Sephardic Spice Girls Helped Me Connect My Jewish Roots
BY CAROLINE LEVINE
JEWISH COOKING in my
family has always been an act
of revival and reconnection.

My family, though very
dedicated to Judaism, has very
few Jewish recipes that have
been preserved throughout
the generations. Growing
up, I felt disconnected from
Jewish culture. I hadn’t heard
of many Jewish dishes, and I
certainly didn’t know how to
make them. I knew that about
a quarter of my Jewish roots
were Sephardic and the rest
Ashkenazi — and that’s about
all I knew. I didn’t know how
to celebrate the festive Jewish
holidays and, ultimately, I just
didn’t celebrate them.

But everything changed
when I discovered the
Sephardic Spice Girls.

Sharon and Rachel, aka
the Sephardic Spice Girls (@
sephardicspicegirls), are
a cooking duo who run an
Instagram account by the same
name. They post their families’
recipes from Morocco, Iraq and
Rhodes, sharing traditional
Sephardic dishes as well as
their own takes on non-Jewish
dishes such as strawberry
shortcake, curry and so on.

For me, the true highlight
of their page are the traditional
Sephardic recipes.

I discovered their account
after following numerous
accounts on Jewish culture and
history in an attempt to learn
more about my mysterious
Sephardic heritage. Instagram
then featured their account on my
recommended feed, predicting
that I would have an interest in
learning about Sephardic culture
through cooking.

Instagram was right.

Considering my love of cooking
and my desire to respect-
fully reconnect to my distant
Sephardic roots, I gladly picked
a recipe from the Sephardic
Spice Girls and took a leap.

What resulted was the best
cake I have ever eaten. I made
their Abe Abraham’s apple cake,
and it was fantastic. Though not
strictly a traditional Sephardic
dish, it introduced me to their
world. I promptly made it a
second time.

I have since looked for
any opportunity to make one
of their recipes. For Rosh
Hashanah 2020, I made their
Seville orange chicken and
suddenly, I had a newfound
passion: Jewish cooking.

Over the next year, I tried
countless dishes from their
blog. Though every dish I have
made with their recipes has been
amazing, here are my favorites:
Biscochos These are the ultimate tea
cookies, often made with the
flavors of cinnamon, orange
juice and anise extract. They
are sweet, but not too sweet,
and for those not raised with
Sephardic culture, they are the
perfect segue into experiencing
Sephardic joy.

Biscochos date back to
Spain, pre-Inquisition, and are
thus shared by every Sephardic
community. Today, they are
mainly served during Jewish
holidays or celebrations, and
they offer a rich opportunity to
subtly connect with — or even
educate others on — Sephardic
traditions. To me, biscochos have
served a very important
purpose in reconnecting to
my Sephardic heritage because
they are a universal Sephardic
dessert. It can be difficult to
connect when you do not
confidently know where your
family called home before
arriving in the United States.

Though I have a rather good
idea, I will never know what
countries they truly identified
with or if they identified with
none of them. The universality
of biscochos helps me to feel
connected to my ancestors
respectfully, without making
any false assumptions.

Boyos For those unfamiliar with
boyos, they are thinly rolled
dough with cheese and spinach
inside that originated in the
former Ottoman Empire. The
Sephardic Spice Girls recipe
for boyos is wonderful: Though
fairly simple in concept, they
are very flavorful and a fantastic
comfort food (especially if you
go heavy on the feta like I do!).

To me, the significance of
making boyos extends past the
flavor, however. In addition
to the delicious taste, I find
them empowering to cook.

With each fold of the dough,
I am connecting to my Jewish
ancestors — knowing that I
may never know the names of
many of them, I find comfort in
partaking in traditions they too
may have done. In a sense, it is
my way of telling them that they
will never be fully forgotten.

Abe Abraham’s
Apple Cake
Seriously, this cake is amazing.

You can pair it with an
autumn-inspired frosting if
you like, but the cake is so
delicious that it is not necessary.

Even though the ingredient list
is fairly simple, the recipe is
an all-time favorite of mine.

And interestingly enough, I am
not usually a huge fan of the
apple and cinnamon combina-
tion. This cake, however, has
converted me. The autumn
feeling that comes from the
apples and cinnamon is so
comforting and delicious that
I intend to make it again for
Thanksgiving. Thanks to Sharon and
Rachel’s expansive collection
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JEWISH EXPONENT
of recipes, I have discovered
a way to respectfully connect
to my Sephardic heritage —
which I have struggled with
doing properly, considering
how it is not something I was
raised with. Cooking, however,
has not only inspired me to
learn more about and connect
with Sephardic culture, but
it has taught me to connect
with Jewish holidays as well.

Whenever a new Jewish
holiday rolls around, I now
know exactly how to celebrate:
by opening up Instagram and
trying a new recipe by Sharon
and Rachel. More than ever
before, I have felt Jewish. And I
have the Sephardic Spice Girls
to thank. l
Caroline Levine is a junior at the
University of Florida and a 2021-
2022 Alma College Writing Fellow.

This originally appeared in Alma.

KVETCH ’N’ KVELL
Archbishop Sends Chanukah Greetings
DEAR BROTHERS AND SISTERS in the Jewish faith commu-
nity, together with the bishops, priests, deacons, consecrated
religious and lay faithful of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, I
extend sincere and prayerful best wishes as you celebrate the
great Festival of Lights.

As you recall the ultimate triumph of G-d over oppression in
all of its forms, may the light of the menorah fill you with joy and
hope as you strengthen the bonds of love with family and friends.

Shalom Aleichem!
Most Reverend Nelson J. Pérez | Archbishop of Philadelphia
Recent Incident Shows Flaws of Cash Bail
If Bob Lankin’s Nov. 11 op-ed “Why Judaism Prohibits Cash
Bail’’ had been scheduled for a December publication date, I
highly doubt the Exponent would ever have published it.

Darrell Brooks, who is accused of running his SUV through
a Christmas parade in Waukesha, Wisconsin, on Nov. 21,
murdering six innocent people and seriously injuring dozens,
had a long criminal history and was released from prison twice
by posting bail amounts of: 1) $500 in February after being
charged with second-degree reckless endangerment and posses-
sion of a dangerous weapon as a convicted felon; and 2) $1,000
last month after being charged with resisting or obstructing an
officer, bail jumping, recklessly endangering safety, disorderly
conduct and battery.

The murderous assault in Waukesha was the direct result of
releasing a repeat violent offender prior to trial because of low
or no bail.

Lankin makes the case that many who are charged with a
crime and presumed innocent prior to trial remain incarcerated
for being poor since they do not have the funds to post bail.

Certain people charged with crimes should be given no or low
bail amounts if they are first-time offenders, if the nature of the
crime they were charged with was nonviolent or other similar
circumstances. But Lankin puts forward a misleading argument
when he conflates cash bail with the Jewish principle not to
persecute and oppress poor people.

It is inappropriate to conclude that Judaism has an absolute
ruling about cash bail. l
Joel Leon | Huntingdon Valley
DECEMBER 2, 2021
25