O pinion
Helping Our Lone Soldier Along His Path Pankiewicz
Continued from Page 11
BY STACIE STUFFLEBEAM
WHILE WE OFTEN TALK
about the need to protect the
land of Israel, those of us living
outside of the Jewish state don’t
talk often enough about what
that really means.

Though my husband and I
live in the U.S., four of our
sons have bravely chosen to
serve as lone soldiers — soldiers
serving in the IDF without
parents living in Israel. All have
served in combat units, all with
a strong desire to protect Israel.

This past week I got a call from
my youngest son, our (6-foot-2)
“baby.” He is in the officers’
training pre-course and wanted
to talk some things through.

I was honored that he
turned to me, and I was deter-
mined to be as supportive as
possible. Together, we consid-
ered the practicalities and pros
and cons of continuing on to
become an officer versus being
discharged and becoming a
civilian. We talked about how
COVID-19 might impact this
decision and what the best path
for him might be.

He talked and I listened — a
skill I’ve honed as a lone soldier
mom — and I tried not to
insert my opinion, a skill I’m
still working on, and only offer
support (all the while thinking:
I vote for discharge so I can
stop worrying so much!).

During this discussion,
my son talked about the need
to be ready to lead his unit
into war. Bam! With just one
sentence, my wall — the one
I’ve carefully constructed to
separate the idea of protecting
Israel and the actuality of my
son protecting Israel — came
crumbling down.

It’s not the first time. My
husband and I have been lone
soldier parents for almost eight
years. At times, we had two
— and once, for a few weeks,
three — sons serving at the
same time. Our first chayal
is a Tzuk Eitan (Operation
Protective Edge) veteran, and
there have been many times
over the last eight years that
the situation has been tense
and it seemed Israel might be
on the brink of war.

If there has been any upside
to a global pandemic for me,
it’s been that things in Israel
have seemed quieter than I
remember them being for a
long time. During the corona-
virus crisis, I’ve had a chance
to worry about other things in
Israel, like how long the soldiers
had to remain on base and how
they were doing laundry. Were
they getting enough to eat? Had
anyone on base been diagnosed?
All of these small worries
allowed me to rebuild my wall,
not of denial, but of separation
between the idea and the reality
that my son, a thoughtful soul, a
gentle warrior, might have such
an enormous burden.

We know that each of our
children is on their own path
and one of our most important
jobs as parents is to help guide
and support them as they make
their way along that path.

Prior to the pandemic, we
used to travel to Israel for our
sons’ tekesim (ceremonies).

Leading up to their Tekes
Kumta (Beret Ceremony) the
soldiers do a very long hike.

For some units, parents are
invited to join their soldier for
the last couple of kilometers, a
truly amazing experience we
have been honored to partici-
pate in.

Several years ago, sitting
with other parents while waiting
to join our second chayal for
those last kilometers, we struck
up a conversation with another
parent sitting with a soldier that
I assumed was there to support
a sibling. As it turned out, that
soldier was a member of my
son’s unit but had been injured
and could not participate in
the long hike. As we talked, the
soldier told me that when he had
been injured on a training hike,
he had fallen behind and, as is
the way in the IDF, his fellow
soldiers stood by him to help
him. He told us that one soldier
in particular had stayed with
him supporting him until the
end of the hike. At some point
we realized it was our son who
had stayed on and helped him
make it to the end. Now, this
soldier was there to do the same
for my son.

As my son’s unit came into
view, this young man immedi-
ately fell in behind my son
with his hand on his shoulder
helping to support and push
him to the finish.

Now, as I reflect on the
conversation with my youngest
son, I know one thing for sure:
Just as that soldier literally
had my son’s back, I will be
there for my current chayal, at
his back, supporting him on
his chosen path. And, just as
importantly, I know that all of
Israel has his back as well. l
Stacie Stufflebeam is the executive
director of the Michael Levin Lone
Soldier Foundation. She lives in
Pittsburgh. A NOTICE TO OUR READERS
There will be no print edition of the Jewish Exponent the week of Dec. 31.

That week, please visit us online at jewishexponent.com, where the paper will be
available in digital form.

14 DECEMBER 17, 2020
JEWISH EXPONENT
speech and hate crimes. There is a
toxic presence of people who are
emboldened by their hate today.

Hate speech never ends with hate
speech, it evolves into action.

Unchecked hate speech creates
an environment that is condu-
cive to violence. It only escalates.

History has proven this; present
times have solidified this.

As a person of conscience,
I cannot stand idly by and not
do my part to combat hate.

The greatest weapon against
hate is education, particularly
Holocaust education. Teaching
the importance of individual
choice, collective responsibility,
the dangers of hate and that
being silent to an injustice is
also being compliant to it, results
in creating a better society that
promotes human decency.

Sam, a Holocaust survivor
from Czechoslovakia living in
Pittsburgh, and my best friend
for almost 20 years, passed
away last June. I miss him
every day and think about his
small piece of bread that he
carried in his pocket with him
everywhere. He would tell me
that I would be his “witness”
to the catastrophic horrors he
faced during the Holocaust
after he was no longer here
on this earth, and I would
be responsible for telling his
story and teaching his lessons.

I promised him that I would
never stop telling his story or
teaching about the Holocaust.

As a Holocaust educator, I
must create “future witnesses”
so that Sam’s story and the
story of millions who perished
in the Holocaust will never be
forgotten. Education, empathy
and awareness are the cure to
the destruction of a society and
the theft of human dignity.

“Let our fate be a warning
to you” is engraved on the
mausoleum at Majdanek death
camp in Poland, which contains
the ashes and remains of the
victims, a place of profound
sadness and unspeakable
tragedy. Our obligation now, as
persons of consciousness, is to
heed and listen to the pleas of
the genocide victims from their
graves. The future of humanity
rests on their ashes. l
Meg Pankiewicz is an English
and Holocaust and genocide
studies teacher at Canon-McMillan
High School in Canonsburg,
Pennsylvania. KVETCH ’N’ KVELL
Letter Is an Affront
AS A RECENTLY RETIRED Reconstructionist-trained rabbi,
I have known many Orthodox Jews and Orthodox rabbis both
before and during my decades of service to the Jewish commu-
nity who would be embarrassed to read or say the kinds of things
that I read in Kvetch ‘N Kvell letter entitled “There’s More to
Shabbat than Going Without Tech” (Dec. 10).

The smug, self-righteous, self-satisfied, condescending tone of
the letter should be an affront to all Jews regardless of denomi-
nation or post-denomination. Perhaps the Exponent itself should
engage in a little hesbon hanefesh/accounting of the soul for its
decision to publish such a brazen attack by one Jew on another,
especially when the latter is expressing a deeper appreciation of
Shabbat. l
Rabbi Avi Winokur | Philadelphia
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