H eadlines
Seniors Meet Needs in Bereavement Group
L OCA L
SOPHIE PANZER | JE STAFF
WHEN RHEA APPLEBAUM
joined a bereavement group in
February of 2018, dating was
the last thing on her mind.

She had lost her husband to
a sudden illness five months
earlier and hadn’t recovered
from the shock. She met with
about a dozen seniors who
were also mourning their
spouses and talked about how
she felt like she was losing her
memories of him, how she
couldn’t conjure his smell or
the feeling of his arms around
her anymore.

Mike Chernoff had joined
the group in July the previous
year, after his beloved wife
died. He and his dog felt lost
without her.

6 APRIL 22, 2021
“I remember one of the
saddest things was that he
would run up the steps looking
for her and not find her,” he
said. When the dog died soon
after, he turned to his peers for
support and met Applebaum
once she started coming to
meetings. The two Northeast
Philadelphia residents got to
know each other well in the
intimate group setting and
discovered they shared a love of
reading and music. Eventually,
Chernoff asked Applebaum to
accompany him to a perfor-
mance at the Philadelphia
Orchestra, and she said yes.

The bereavement group
created by Abramson Senior
Care and KleinLife greeted
the couple’s news with enthu-
siasm when they learned of
the relationship. Members feel
like a family, facilitator Brie
Yousaitis said.

The program was origi-
nally intended to serve seniors
grieving the loss of a spouse,
and later expanded to include
people mourning
other kinds of loss. It now acts as a
general support group for all
kinds of issues, from dealing
with the fear and isolation of
the pandemic to navigating
relationship problems.

“Since everybody started
coming, we’ve lost children,
animals, relationships have
started and ended,” said
Yousaitis, director of psycho-
social support for hospice and
palliative care at Abramson
Senior Care. “So we’ve been
through a lot, obviously also
with the pandemic as well.”
When the KleinLife facili-
ties closed at the beginning of
JEWISH EXPONENT
Mike Chernoff and Rhea Applebaum
the pandemic, the group had to
change course. Simply moving
the meetings to Zoom was not
an option due to technological
challenges for older members,
Yousaitis said.

They decided to restart in
August and hold meetings
outside instead. Chernoff
volunteered his lawn, but as
this was only viable in good
weather, they had to stop
meeting again in November.

They kept in touch via text and
social media, but processing
loss and the challenges of
life during the pandemic
just wasn’t the same without
face-to-face interaction.

Six members of the group,
five of whom are Jewish,
reunited at Chernoff’s house
after months of separation on
April 8. They brought lawn
chairs and fully vaccinated
immune systems.

Yousaitis said socializing
is especially important for the
senior population, which was
already facing isolation due
to decreased social activity,
leaving work and deaths of
loved ones. Then COVID-19
cut them off from family
and friends. While romantic
relationships can certainly take
off in support group settings,
most participants join to find
solace in friendships at a time
when their support networks
may not be as strong as they
used to be.

Courtesy of Rhea Applebaum
“When they lose their
significant other or someone
really close, it’s like losing part
of your own self. You have to
find yourself again. The way
to do this is socializing with
others,” she said. “As we get
older, we lose daily connec-
tions with people. There’s no
more work, sometimes family
is not close or you have a global
pandemic. Friends are passing
or live far away, so the social-
ization is so huge.”
In addition to reaping the
benefits of camaraderie from
the support group, Applebaum
and Chernoff have been
together for three and a half
years now.

“I just love the kindness of
him, his intelligence, how good
he is to everyone around him,”
Applebaum said. Chernoff
said his favorite things about
Applebaum are her personality
and the ways she embraces
Judaism. Applebaum
introduced Chernoff to her family and
they welcomed him with open
arms. Her grandchildren and
great-grandchildren now know
him as Saba Mike.

“He is the only great-grand-
father that they will know,”
she said. “He came for the first
Chanukah with the kids and
didn’t leave.” l
spanzer@jewishexponent.com; 215-832-0729
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