Tales of Jews
at Christmas
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16 NOVEMBER 22, 2018
WINTER HOLIDAY MAGAZINE
JEWISHEXPONENT.COM



C
hristmas is a complicated time for a lot of Jews.

Some feel left out as Christmas messages bombard the
public consciousness. Yeah, there’s Chanukah, but that’s
just not the same. And who remembers when schools had
Christmas pageants — before the P.C. police renamed them holi-
day pageants — and they’d always throw the Jewish kids a bone by
having the chorus sing “Dreidel, Dreidel”?
Others get depressed. Th ere’s always a report each December
about how depression levels tend to soar around Christmas, so it’s
reasonable to believe that some of those depressed folks are Jews.

What most of us share, however, are awkward stories about be-
ing Jewish during the holiday season. A polling of staff members
came up with the following tales. I’ll go fi rst.

I grew up in Newtown Square in a then-new neighborhood
that had a handful of Jews. Luminaries (candles inside paper bags)
lined the street on Christmas Eve. Carolers went door to door.

And later in the evening, everyone gathered at a neighbor’s house
for dessert.

During one of the fi rst years, all the kids were called up to the
dessert table, which featured a white birthday cake.

A question was asked: “Does anyone know whose birthday it is?”
Of course, I knew the answer. “My
mom!” I blurted out. It was true. She
was born on Dec. 24.

“Uh, well, yes, but who else’s
birthday is it?” whatever adult
was in charge stammered.

That one proved to be more
challenging, so some gen-
tile kid answered.

To this day, I swear ev-
eryone then sang “Happy
Birthday Jesus and Barbara,”
IZONDA/THINKSTOCK but my mom says otherwise.

A year or two later in the days before Christmas, someone
knocked on the door. It was Santa! He was invited in and sat in
our living room. My confused younger brother asked, “What are
you doing here, Santa? We’re Jewish.”
Santa saved face with something along the
lines of “Santa visits all the good children.”
But the Santa experiences didn’t end there.

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Like in many towns, Santa rode the fi re truck a few days before
Christmas every year, with his fi refi ghter helpers handing out can-
dy canes. For whatever reason, we got outside late one year, and
the fi refi ghters had stopped giving out the candy canes.

My father said he would get us candy canes, but an annoying
neighbor kid kept saying that he’d come away empty-handed be-
cause some kids had already gone back for seconds and the help-
ers were perturbed. My dad fi nally had enough and told the kid to
shut up — then got us candy canes. Score one for Dad.

Finally, a couple years aft er that, my dad was driving me, my
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JEWISHEXPONENT.COM WINTER HOLIDAY MAGAZINE
NOVEMBER 22, 2018
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